How to make her more comfortable?

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by cadamire, Jun 29, 2007.

  1. cadamire

    cadamire New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, I'm a tall guy, and she's a average girl. And sometimes it seems just not to work out right.

    Also, I'm quite big around down there. Only average length (6") but my girth is above average (4-5") and I have to wear the magnum sized condoms. (Heh, funny how we figured that out... the other ones just didn't fit!)

    She's fairly tight and small down there, and often complains about having pains after sex. During sex, she said that the pain was still there, kinda, but ignorable. We do use lubicration to make things go more smoothly, but still there are problems.

    Any suggestion regarding this? Positions maybe that would make it so she's more relaxed and loose?

    Also, we've been curious to try anal sex, but when we tried, I just didn't seem to fit there... she was pretty much expecting that, but I was wondering if there are techniques to get things going on this also...
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    Rule #1 (for vaginal and anal sex) is foreplay. A woman is naturally tight, and the act of foreplay and getting things very hot & heavy before insertion, help to loosen and lubricate. Lots of emotional foreplay, along with oral sex, gentle finger-play, etc.

    Don't be a hurry to get down to "real sex". Making love starts with that first touch... and the longer it takes, the better the experience - for BOTH of you.
    Good luck!
     
  3. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South East
    Ok, regaurding vaginal sex, you need to do more than just lube take it slow and get her in the mood,
    1. Kiss her and her body, all over
    2. play with the nipples
    3. mutural masturbate of just finger her
    4. eat her out/69
    5. then penetrate her, missionary is probably the most comfortable for her
    6. penetrate her slowly and ease it in don't hammer it home, reomove it after a few minutes of penetration and eat her out a little more
    7. she sould be pretty loose after all that plus go slow until she has had atleast one orgasom
    8. if you have sex every night it should loosen up anyway

    Anal sex, different story
    master vaginal first
    1. start with a finger and lots and lots of lube
    2. go the the adult store and get different guage butt plugs
    this will slowly strech the anus without damage
    3. after you have done all this you can try to penetrate her

    ---------------rules with anal--------------
    1. she is in control,
    2. you stop if she says it hurts(it could cause her serious damage)
    3. lubercation and a lot of it
    4. not a rule but a good idea is a condom

    thats about it have fun and play safe
     
  4. cadamire

    cadamire New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for the input.

    Honestly I find foreplay very enjoyable, and usually like to tease her until she's practically jumping me. Hands all over the place, kissing, etc.

    She thought she'd loosen up to it as well, but after few months, its still been an issue. Like, after one night, she'd be too sore to do it again the next. Though its true, she does loosen up quite a bit after her first orgasm.
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    She may have a natural lubrication problem. Some women, though sexually aroused, don't self-lubricate as well as others. I know you use lube, but it still could cause a problem.

    As far as positions, perhaps letting her ride you 'cowgirl'. That way she is in control of the movement and depth - and as she is aroused, she can go deeper.
     
  6. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Has she experienced pain with previous lovers? I'm just wondering if it has to do with your size, or if it could be a medical issue, or possibly both. Maybe she could mention it to her gyn and see if he/she has any advice.

    Do you have any reason to suspect that she isn't 100% aroused during sex? Is she depressed/stressed out? On any medication (such as birth control pills or an antidepressant) that might affect her arousal level? Would you say your relationship is healthy and trouble-free?

    As for anal sex, get a small anal toy and start playing with that; most people need to ease into anal sex having used smaller objects beforehand. (PM me for names of a few good adult stores that carry a plethora of anal toys, if you're interested.) It can take a few months to work up to a penis-sized object (and rarely, a few years). Make sure she's 100% in the mood for anal play, that she's doing it because she really wants to, or else she won't be relaxed/aroused enough.

    Good luck! Keep us updated :)
     
  7. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,740
    Likes Received:
    7
    My concern ( as most have already hit on every other point )

    is you can only use magnum sized condoms ?

    An average condom will easy fit a 6" in length and 4 to 5" in girth.

    Sorry its not a pop at you but ive heard a lot of guys saying they ned t owear these jumbo sized condoms....I can fit in pretty much any durex condom ( from europe ) and im above avg ...im just wondering where are you from ( America ? )
    Because it seems to me that america must make tighter shorter condoms there than they make in europe.
     
  8. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Four to five inches is about average, and large-sized condoms are for bigger guys like 6" to 7". Foreplay (lots of) has already been mentioned, the number one trick is to master oral until you can get your girl to orgasm before penetration. Sometimes all the kissing and cuddling and oral doesn't help much unless she actually comes.

    My other trick (because I am 6" to 7" in girth) is to use a smudge of artificial lube. I don't use much, because a little goes a long way. In your case, however, you may not need to resort to this if your girl is otherwise well-aroused and orgasmically blissed-out.