How to let go of past rejection and start over.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by fireontheside, Apr 23, 2013.

  1. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    In the past, I was rejected a lot, platonically and romantically. I feel like I bring this rejection baggage to all my interactions with anyone. I go into things expecting to be hurt.

    Does anyone know if a good way to start over? Is there any way I can let go of the baggage of being rejected in the past and go into situations with the knowledge that despite what may have happened, I am good enough and worthy?

    I don't know how to let go of the past, and I just expect to be let down.

    To make it clear. I've had friends abandon me. I've had people I had crushes on ignore me. I had someone I was in love with leave me. I've had people I wanted to be friends with not want to be friends. A LOT. All the time. So I'm just carrying that around all the time, like a heavy weight. It makes me feel very bad about myself.

    So how can I either let go of this emotional baggage, or at least pretend I don't have it?
     
    #1 fireontheside, Apr 23, 2013
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2013
  2. xeniadraven

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    You're in a rut with your confidence. Negativity attracts negativity. You need to forget about your past experiences regardless of how many there are. Find something you love to do, at college after work etc and throw yourself into it 100% allow yourself to enjoy something fulfilling. As your attitude and confidence changes you will find like minded people will be naturally drawn to you. X
     
  3. Mittimer

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    That is exactly it.

    I was deeply, deeply depressed for many years. It wasn't until I started back to school after so long and focused all of my energy on my passion that I was pulled from the hole of darkness that was consuming me.

    With my dedication to my passion, I found friends. I found people who were like me, I found people with similar interests. It took years but I don't feel alone anymore.
     
  4. sandwich

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    This is a question I can actually answer with confidence. And here, I am mostly addressing the good enough and worthy thing.

    I think a path to learning that you have intrinsic value is in order here. Your worth as a person has nothing to do with the opinions of and rejections by other people. While you can get a sense of accomplishment and purpose from work and other endeavors, at some point in your old age you will not be able to do these things. So then does your value go out the window when you are 95 and feeble? No. This does not mean that your accomplishments were insignificant, by the way. Goals, passions and accomplishments are all good things, but they don't define your intrinsic value.

    So then where does your intrinsic value come from? Figure that out, and embrace it. In my opinion it is something that is constant and never fades away and will always be there for you. If you would like to discuss this further, you will have to ask me privately.
     
  5. fireontheside

    fireontheside Member

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    I ran into an old friend from my former job today and it really lifted my spirits. I was so incredibly down. Between my ex online friend finally letting me down hard, this forum, and an online friend said she was disgusted with me and a loser, I was so down. Seeing my former coworker lifted me up. We went to a coffee shop and I was able to open up to her about my mom being a bitch.

    It was nice to be reminded that someone cares about me.
     
  6. rileyjane

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    For me the past is just that it is over and done with and there is nothing you can do about it now. I know this is easier said than done.. Try to focus on today.. I know this helps me..
     
  7. dougsan

    dougsan New Member

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    Fireontheside has played this woe is me in other threads in this forum. I believe him/her to be a user of people and nothing more. Proceed at your own risk.