[Ask a Guy] How to improve kissing technique of PARTNER

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by ISOParadiseCity, Sep 3, 2013.

  1. ISOParadiseCity

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    I have been on a few dates with a 36 year old woman. The first kiss was kind of a mash up of lips, and I became initially concerned, as I havent really experienced such a mash up outside of one other person.
    Our last date, yesterday, I went for a kiss at the end of the date, and this woman and I are not nearly on the same page for kissing technique. I couldn't believe how different we were, and it was a huge turn off.
    To explain, just imagine your partner quickly wagging their tongue back and forth from side to side over and over. At first I was thinking she may start that way, but once i tried to massage her tongue, she would take the hint, and reciprocate, but no, as I tried to reign her in, and slow her down, I felt her continually race her tongue from side to side like a dog wagging it's tail.

    I am amazed she kisses this way at this age, and I fear if she kisses this way, she may have a different style in the bedroom. I'm not excited about teaching a 36 year old woman how to kiss.

    How can I do this? Is this recoverable? Will a 36 year old adult change her style for me?
    So far she seems like a nice person, and we get along, but I get the feeling she may be lacking in intimate experience. She was engaged years ago for a brief time, so I assume she isn't a virgin. But after this kiss, I have to question how she made it to 36 like this.

    Anyone ever deal with someone such as this, and if so, what did you do?
    Exactly how did you say it, to get her to become a better kisser?

    Women, feel free to offer input.

    Everyone, please note I am looking for actual ways to handle this situation, not 'theoretical', ...."Just talk to her".
    What was said, and/or how did you bring up the conversation?
    Most women I have kissed have been on the same page as me, so I havent had to 'teach'. The one thing I have noticed over the years, is that if a woman and I kiss differently, they never adapt to my style as I would think through make out sessions. They kind of do their thing, tongue flailing.... hahah. ugh. A conversation must occur, but how do you tell someone who has been making out for 20 years that... they need adjustments?
     
  2. llepafils

    llepafils Member

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    I had a similar problem once, although she was way younger, she was experienced, but I didn't like the way she kissed.

    In any case, although reading your description of her kissed I might agree with you, consider she might be in the same situation, and she might be thinking that it's you who can't kiss properly, who is not enough passionate, or whatever. I'm not saying who is or isn't right, I just want to prevent you from thinking she is wrong, and facing it like that, or that could end for the worse.

    That being said, you can talk to her. In that case, I'd say make sure you don't present is a big deal. Well, I don't know if you consider it a big deal, but try to talk it openly but as if it was a minor think, something like "I actually prefer it like that, though".

    On the other hand, what worked for me, instead of talking. Set a romantic setting. Then kiss her very slowly, at first just on the lips, and slowly introduce the tongue. If she gets too much into it just smile and whisper something like "shh... no hurry..." with a teasing but romantic voice. Maybe kissing slowly she won't be like that, and then slowly getting more passionate will be an easy transition.
    It worked for me, at least... (not on the first try, it's not magical or anything :p )
     
  3. armadillo

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    I agree with most of what llepa said. I haven't directly had to change the way my partner kissed, but if I had to, I would bring it up casually (while you have already started kissing). Like slower kissing is just something that turns you on, not necessarily something that she does wrong. Then really act like you enjoy it. Once she sees that, hopefully she'll see how much more you like it, and continue to kiss that way.
     
  4. minskminx

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    It is always difficult to kiss someone for the first time especially if you are hoping to see them again and not on some crazy night out!

    However both should be approached in the same way, be drunk!

    If you continue to see the other person you can reduce the level of alcohol :)
     
  5. lbushwalker

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    Had a funny experience once with an obviously incompatible kissing partner.
    Somehow our lips and breathing would not coordinate and we ended up performing a frog symphony. Never repeated that experience with her so do not know if we could have eventually worked it out.
    Part of the problem I think was that neither wished to be subjugated by the other and that kissing session was a battle for dominance.
    Sex with her would have been a disaster!