How to "deny" my best friend......

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Maddox, Feb 19, 2008.

  1. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    Okay guys, I have a dilemma here. My "best friend" seems to have a crush on me. I've known her for over 2 years, and in the past couple weeks, she has been acting much differently around me, and she said "I love you" to me a couple times.

    She recently fucked over one of my good friends that she was dating, and she continually lies to him. This makes me have doubts about her, how do I know she's not lying to me about stuff? I am trying to distance myself from her now incase she truely does have a crush on me.

    Is there an easy way to figure out if someone has a crush on you without coming out and flat-out asking? If she really does have a crush on me, how would you suggest I convey that I don't like her in that way, and keep the friendship in tact?

    Any help you can offer, I'd appreciate it. Thanks!
     
  2. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    Honestly, I'd probably just ignore any and all signals she might try to send to you. Don't ever, ever say/insinuate, etc anything other than friendship.

    If she continues to say she loves you, I'd respond with something like "Me too, you're like a sister to me!"

    If she ever becomes obvious or clear, I'd just say "I love our friendship too much to ruin it.."
     
  3. Barbwire

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    Halogen makes a lot of sense. Do your best to send no mixed signals, make sure she knows you aren't interested in her as anything more than a friend.
     
  4. Joe

    Joe
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    I've had a couple friends want to become more than friends, and I just told them I had thought about it too, but decided we'd both be better off if we kept our relationship platonic. They agreed and we did.
     
  5. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I believe you are doing the right thing by creating a distance between the two of you and the main thing right now is not to create a double messge such as trying to create distance while at the same time being flirtateous with her. If you keep your message consistant then she should pick up on it and hopefully she will pick up the cue from your recent change in attitutde towards her. My feeling is that she realizes her relationship with your best friend is coming to an end and she may be 'feeling you out' for her next relationship.

    In the event she does not understand your non-verbal cue there are a few things to try. Keep your message consistant. This means if necessary censor everything you say to her in order to prevent her from thinking that you may be interested in her. Reinforce that you think your friend is a nice guy, how much he likes her, and how you to not date previous girlfriends of your friends. Essentially let her know that you support your friends and do not do anything that could potentially upset them.

    Another possibility would to pull yourself completely out of the circle of friends that the two of you have in common. By doing this it should cut down her interest in you and hopefully give her the message. In order to do this successfully it may mean that you have to let your friends know what is occurring and why you are doing this.

    Finally if nothing seems to working then you need to confront her about it. By confrontation I do not mean getting into a fight with her. Instead in a respectful manner talk to her about what she has been saying to you, what you have noticed, how you respect your friends, how all of this makes you feel, and then in a respectful manner tell her you are not interested. Hopefully by talking with her any miscommunication will be resolved.
     
  6. Dreama

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    Yeah, I think that you should just keep to being her friend. Don't do anything that she could take the wrong way. If she comes on to you too strong, tell her you're not interested.
     
  7. slamd097

    slamd097 New Member

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    hummmmm...I am seeing an opportunity. Nail her once, and give her the dirty sanchez. If she wants to again, do the sanchez. Just keep doing the sanchez until she gets it.......

    or just do what else was suggested, which makes better sense..lol
     
  8. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    Thanks for the help guys, I'll continue doing what I'm doing. She seems to be pulling back a little as well, I hope that's a "good" thing in my predicament.....
     
  9. Mr.Tongue

    Mr.Tongue New Member

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    I don't know , if you want to keep the friend ship. maybe you go should ahead talk to her about it, but leave an out . says something like "I 'll probably way off base, but I feel like your sending me signals but I don't want to risk the friend"
    then she can see it's going to happen and blow you offas " you gotta be kidding me, you and me sorry no way" gives her a way to save face and clears the air up front instead of waiting for it to head down the wrong road.
    I actually was the interested in a female friend, she just me know up front, and we were like best friends for years to come with no alkward feelings.
     
  10. HardRocker

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    I've seen this same "advice" in several threads. Pardon me for being out of the loop, but what the fuck is the dirty sanchez.
     
  11. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Are you sure you really want to know??

    Dirty Sanchez
     
  12. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Ohhh, I wish I hadn't looked....:eek (WTF was I thinking! I should know better!) Curiosity smeared the cat, I guess...

    BD
     
  13. FlirtyChick

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    EEEK. Nasty!:ugh