How to deal with very mismatched libido?!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by monkeyfacegrace, May 11, 2014.

  1. monkeyfacegrace

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    Hi,

    I'm new around here :)

    I'm struggling with my husband.

    We are both young, well, I'm 27 he is 34.

    He has had a colourful past, shagged around and had anal/threesomes/public/group sex.

    I've had nothing like that and I'm literally gagging to experiment. I need (or want) sex twice a day every day. I can't walk past a man without thinking of getting on his cock.

    My husband is a good man, earns a huge wage and is loyal, but works 60 hour weeks so is always knackered. I'm beginning to resent him :-(
     
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  2. AGFUNK

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    I really don't have that much advice other than jumping on his cock.

    I as well am in a relationship where I don't get anywhere near the amount of sex I need/want. How often do you have sex though? Do you masturbate? I've found that masturbating helps me a little.
     
  3. Ed69

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    You realy need to talk with your husband about the huge paycheck verses the lack of sex.Money can't buy everything,but the persuite of it can do endless damage.
     
  4. oldkid

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    Grace...he's had his group sex and threesomes. Some of my friends are going to jump all over me, but, you need a fuck budy, with ground rules. Or another couple to share sex with, with or without your workaholic husband. I have no doubt that there are swinger groups near where you live. Drag him to one if you can, and start conditioning his mind. Again, establish clear ground rules and limits that you can both be comfortable with. Good luck and keep us posted.
     

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  5. 10_3XL

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    Speaking from personal experience - overwork and having little to no time for your relationship will do damage. Potentially a lot of damage. There were lots of factors involved, but one of the main damning parts of my last relationship was the "No Time" factor.

    You two really need to sit down and talk about finding a balance for him between work/home or finding a solution to your frustrations beyond relying on only him to alleviate them. Being resentful and frustrated are no good, and there's not much happiness in a substantial paycheck if there is nobody with which to share the spoils.
     
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  6. monkeyfacegrace

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    Thanks for the replies.

    The one thing I will say is that I will NEVER EVER cheat on my husband. He won't allow me to use swinging clubs as he doesn't want another man near me so I respect that.

    If it really came to it, he would leave his job. It would cripple us and our property would have to go- but we would both rather do that than lose each other.

    We still have set 3-4 times a week but it's just not enough to satisfy me fully.

    Maybe I need to get a job to keep my mind occupied ;-)
     
  7. oldkid

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    Come here often. We will do our best to assist with self therapy. If you like our style, join in. I wouldn't call that cheating. No more than Facebook. quicky.gif
     
  8. AGFUNK

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    You're getting more than me. I get once to twice a week if I'm lucky. Masturbate and find something else to occupy your mind.
     
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  9. oldkid

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    Have you suggested your husband can have his cake and eat it too?

    cunLik.gif If your man can't keep up with you, and won't let another man near you, see if you can get a cleaning woman in a couple of days a week. You never know, you might find one who makes a lot of dough, and satisfies your needs. You don't have to tell him. :D
     
  10. AGFUNK

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    And I just want to add that I completely get it. You have a much higher sex drive but you are getting a lot considering he works so much. At least your husband's libido is somewhere close to yours.

    Do you masturbate? It really helps me most of the time, especially if I have some sexy talk, toys, etc.
     
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  11. monkeyfacegrace

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    Yes I masterbate a lot. Every day at least once. Even lying in bed next to him in the middle of the night when my throbbing clit wakes me up!

    He is happy for me to start shagging women. I'm straight but eating out a woman is one of those things I just want to try, so am looking into finding someone now ;-) I may even let him join in, and the memories may make him horny for weeks afterwards.

    We are such a strong couple that I'm sure introducing a woman occasionally won't hurt. Will it?!
     
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  12. AGFUNK

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    That really depends on if you are both open about it. Have you set ground rules?
     
  13. oldkid

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    I doubt it will alter much to the negative. If you're implying a variety of women, I think that would be best. Look around you, maybe you have friends around you who would be interested in forming a rotating group. Aggie suggested ground rules. Good advice. Put some thought into them. A union of horny ladies, if you will. Good luck.
     
  14. thunderseed

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    Besides talking to him and scheduling more time for sex, maybe work on strengthening the love and romance between you both, your sense of connection. I think whenever there is a void felt by lack of sex, its not actually the lack of sex that is the problem, it is the feeling of insecurity in other areas. Sex is only a small part of the relationship, ultimately (in a perfect world) you should be able to know how to survive without sex (in case something happens and one of you has to depart for months) and be able to exist entirely on the energy you get from your soul connection with eachother. Really a truly loving relationship doesn't have to be physical at all, if you really think about it. I'd be willing to bet if you filled the void within you that is really the problem (whatever that might be) you won't feel like this is even a problem.
    Maybe you could even experiment with sex magic to deepen that bond.

    It's just because I was a hardcore sex addict that I know it is entirely possible to even abstain from sex, let alone learn how to make do without during a relationship. I had very immoral paraphilias, so when I met my bf, I had to get rid of my personal desires completely, because they would have harmed him and our relationship. I had to brainwash myself to be attracted to very "vanilla" sex, stuff that would have bored me before.
    We don't have sex as much as my sex addiction would prefer, but ultimately I don't care. I don't care because I feel like I get so much from our relationship that I no longer have to rely on just sex all the time. My lust cares, but I don't. If lack of sexual release is your problem, it's something you can always deal with yourself. Masturbation is good!

    This probably isn't what you wanted to hear.
    I know it's frustrating not to be able to get laid LoL, but sometimes we just have to make do. I really care more about the love I have with my partner than the sex.
    I guess too I had a life full of sex so casual sex is not something that appeals to me anymore. Making love is amazing, casual sex is just boring. I don't know. If you feel called to that, you should really just tie him down and prevent him from going anywhere (that's what I would do LoL) and act out your wildest dreams.
     
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  15. thunderseed

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    Of course there are always risks of people getting attatched to each other. It's personally something I'd never want to risk, I had so many casual sex experiences in the past and even when people swore it would be no strings attached they would still get attatched to me.
    You will have to make sure that you, your husband and the other woman are also very aware of those risks.
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    Wow, that first sentence certainly caught my eye and the second made them water!
    You are an extraordinary woman worthy of membership to the esteemed SF ladies club.
    The second paragraph had me salivating...........:p