How to deal with being unequal to girls who had regular sex? :(

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by daniel1, Nov 29, 2015.

  1. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    Hi. I'm 29 years old and i never had sex (only 3 times at prostitutes). Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high school. Years were flying by and here we are - 29. You will probably say go out and find somebody, but the problem are my thoughts that are taking all my will to live away. I cant deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no real kissing with normal girl, no real sex, no one night stands, relationship, travelling. All things that for most people are normal. Because of that i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel they all are much better then me, on higher level and i'm not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others, was almost all the time at home and work. How can be such person equal to others? It can't! Its terrible if i go into the shopping center and see in 2 hours hundreds of women with which i would like to have sex and i know i didnt have such interesting past as them. Those thoughts are eating me up every single day, all day. I was also at therapist, but didnt help. Also i took antidepressants, but those also dont take facts away. Nothing can take away the facts, that i'm not on same level as those girls who are having sex since highschool, were on so many parties and so on. For them its normal to have a penis in their hands or mouth, for me this is science fiction and somebody who is 12 years behind in my opinion can never again be same worth as person who alived all those things in normal years (18-24). Sex is the highest thing in live and if you dont have it you havent lived. Therefor i dont know what to do, because there is no way out to feel the same worth as those people anymore, that have normal sex live since their high school. To be honest, the best would be this life would be over and i could sleep forever, to not have this thoughts of facts every day...
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Oh dude you have problems alright but it isn't really about sex although you have made it the focus of your issues.
    You need to go back to a psychiatrist, take your meds and baby steps towards getting well.
    May I suggest that one of the best ways to improve your life is to go help someone or something?
    If you don't relate to people much then try it with animals; go volunteer to help in an animal rescue shelter and bring some meaning back in your life.
    Caring for other living things will bring you much more wellbeing than almost anything in this world.
    The care given to an animal is repaid back manyfold and in unconditional love.
    When I get a little down I go find a dog, pat it, hug it and tell it all my problems and they never fail to listen empathically seeming to understand my sadness. It never fails to lift my spirits.
    Cats and birds can do that too but I am a dog person and always will be.
    Dogs are indeed man's best friend in my world.
     
  3. Candela

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    My goodness,Dont ever think that way!!..Life has so much more to offer then having sex,To be behind everyone as you think isn't a bad thing,Never think people are better then you!..If you do think that way then you need to know you are just as good as the person next to you.I myself didnt have any boyfriends when I was in school and never had a real friend.I used to go home crying because other people would make fun of me,Build on this and try to get your thoughts together in a happy way .Dont ever wish that not living is the answer,Look in the mirror and smile because you have the courage to tell us this and we are here to try to help you.We have so many great people here that I think would have answers for you..I can only hope the best for you xo
     
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  4. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    If sex would not be the most important thing, it would not be in every movie these days. Forums are also full of sex, people wanting to try new things, fetishes. You need to do it simply and i didnt do it :( Watch new french movie "Love 2015". I want this kind of life. I am sexual person, i want to try it all...

    I could meet up with a girl next sunday that i meet on facebook, but i just dont see a point. She experienced it all, had a lot of sex (which i like in a girl), but she is simply too much over my level because of that. She wants to meet bad, she likes me, but this doesnt matter, because she doesnt know my past (numbers and statistic how little i alived) [​IMG] I dont see point in having sex in present or future, because i can't get equal to all those girls anyway. They had sex so many times... they had so much joy in life because of that, i did have nothing. Girls simply won, because they have it so much easier in life with their beautiful look [​IMG] Women are simply too much over me, they are too beautiful..
     
  5. Candela

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    To say what your saying is a "Copout"..She wants to meet you,That's great,So what if you don't have her experience ,That will come in time..Give it a chance,Go meet her,Be friends first and the rest will happen naturally.You have someone who wants to meet you!!...Cherish that!!!
     
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  6. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    Get yourself well mentally, and in the process, live your life. Sex is great, but it isn't the end all be all. You have a past, it just doesn't include sex. There's plenty of experiences I've never had, plenty of people whose pasts don't align with mine.

    And realistically, others' pasts doesn't mean a whole lot. I'm more likely to avoid someone who has done something in their past that I'm not a fan of, rather than someone who hasn't experienced everything. The past doesn't matter. The future only kinda matters, you can only plan so much. Life only listens so much. The present is really the only thing you can control. So get yourself together and make it what you want it to be.
     
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  7. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    Whats the point being with someone if he is more worth then you? And this would be the feeling with all normal girls, who have sex past and i want only girl like that. Those girls won, compare to me. Do you understand its for them something totally normal to have sex, to have penis in their mouth or hand, to do anal.. and for me all this is science fiction from movie. You understand the difference between those 2 people?. How much one has archived and how much the second?
     
  8. MariaMaria

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    Sorry you're struggling so much that you can't see beyond what you supposedly don't have.
    I was a "late bloomer" when it came to sex & I can understand your view; but guess what? When we meet someone we don't look at what they lack, we see all the things that make them special. It sounds like she has already seen something very special in you. Go for it!
     
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  9. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    I look from the outside like a guy who had a lot of girls, i dont look bad. But she would be dissapointed in real life, i am not confident. We would meet for dinner and sex, because we talked a lot about it and she is very nasty, wants to try things out... But this is not even important...important are facts she is over me, because of her past... like all other girls :( I can't be on same level as those girl anymore, because they had sex in youth and won. The race is unfortunately over...
     
  10. Candela

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    Something else you may not realize, She may be just as worried that she doesn't approve to you!!!..
     
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  11. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    Because NO ONE is worth more than me.

    My past has defined who I am today, but it doesn't define my worth as a person. Regardless of what I have or haven't done, I deserve to be happy in the present and the future--provided I want to be happy.
     
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  12. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    If past would not be important, people would not have sex and experiment in youth. They do it because it biggest joy and you need to do it do have fullfilled, worth life... without it, you had just sad life.
     
  13. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    You're cock blocking yourself. Your only problem is that you're too insecure to choose the path you want. I'm done with this thread. Best of luck.
     
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  14. Cappy_Dick

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    "If you think you can't, you won't. But, if you think you can, you just might..."

    ~Cappy Dick

    xx
     
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  15. Amature

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    Look at it this way. You don't have a lot of habits or problems she is going to have to help you break. If she likes you, and wants to be with you, she will be willing to help you become the man she wants. This will help you avoid a lot of trial and error with her. Let her teach you about sex and enjoy the experience. It's just possible she actually wants an in experienced partner. She doesn't have to worry about an STD. I'm in my mid 50's and I've been with two women my entire life. And every time I'm with my wife, I realize I haven't missed out on that much sexually. Sometimes less really is more!
     
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  16. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    Maybe in past was so. Today you need to have a lot of partners.Media and movies are telling so. Some have 2 partners in 1 weeks, some have threesomes, foursomes. Society evolved and is now advanced. And i didnt have this. I just can't deal with this anymore... i need to cry all the time, thinking how others had sex :(
     
  17. lbushwalker

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    Another thing to remembers Daniel, envy of what others might or might not have done gets you absolutely nowhere!
    Also don't project yourself on others as that also serves no purpose.
    Regardless you are not s virgin so do have a grasp of the territory but one thing you must very mindful of and that sex within a non commercial setting is a shared experience.
    You must do your upmost to give pleasure as well as receive it and no matter your past being unselfish will stand you in good steed.
    Go meet this lady, expect nothing but don't give up even before you have a chance to begin a relationship.
     
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  18. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    It gets you nowhere, but it shows your real worth. I am realistic person. I see numbers. I know i must give pleasure, this is my main goal. But i dont want it to do only with 1 women. I want as many as possible, because this is what i want in life. I dont want relationships now, first i need to whore myself out. But i am not on level of those girls anymore. If i would have sex with her, i would think between it, how many times she enjoyed this before and how its normal for her to have this joy and for me not :(
     
  19. Candela

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    Lots of guys wouldn't want a girl that has slept around,Just like a lot of women would like a man who isn't a 'manwhore"..
     
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  20. daniel1

    daniel1 Member

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    I on the other hand would not want a girl who hasnt slept around, because this means for me, she was not brave enough to give herself the biggest joy in life. And i think only insecure women would want a guy who is not experienced. The same why women dont want "experienced" women, because they are scared because they had more numbers and joy in life compare to them, so they are trying protect themself with telling this is bad.

    I can't give to the women the macho guy, who can fuck her like good dom and animal sex like most of normal, sexual hungry women want :/