How to approach spanking your mate?

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Adventurer, Oct 24, 2014.

  1. Adventurer

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    Okay, so the last few months while having sex with my wife, I've had the urge to spank her. Not like, to hurt her, (though at the same time, I know it will probably sting a tiny bit) but just to kind of...rough things up a bit, "your a naughty girl" type thing.

    A couple times I have given her a little slap on the bare butt cheek while fucking her...but it felt rather awkward. And I am not sure if she liked it or didn't really mind.

    I know I could just ask her...but I don't know...it sounds stupid to even say it, but that would feel awkward too. I don't know why. Most things I have no problem discussing. Anal. Foreplay. Having her dress up. Pictures, even video. But there are a few things that feel very...weird to me to bring up. This is one of them.

    So I am wondering if anyone else has been in my situation and how they dealt with it? Or suggestions.

    I know most will say, just talk to my wife about it. Maybe I will if that's my only option. But again...it feels like "weird". (Probably just my hang up)
     
  2. HotForHoney

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    Maybe rub her ass a bit if you are doing it doggie style.

    Give her some love taps as you walk past her.

    Get more comfortable touching her ass

    Then start with the dirty talk and let her rip.
     
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  3. Adventurer

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    I guess I'm off to a good start then cause I do all of that. :)

    Let me ask you this....have you ever been spanked? If so, how was it approached for you? Did you ask for it?
    If my wife asked for it, it'd certainly take away the awkwardness of doing it.
     
  4. HotForHoney

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    When I was exh he tried once, didn't like it. It was before my inner whore was released.

    Released the inner whore

    Dated a guy, not sure if he asked, I told him... Anyway, he spanked me once and I enjoyed it. Liked it ever since.

    I like it during sex, not over the knee as a bad girl.
     
  5. Adventurer

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    During sex is how I'd like to do it as well. Not like I'm giving her a discipline or something. But just "rough-housing" during sex.
     
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  6. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    I'd say just do it like you mean it and judge her response. If it's obvious that it's awkward for you, it's probably not going to elicit the response you're looking for.

    Random 'story'.. When my most recent man-thing and I first started fucking, I told him to slap my ass (we were in doggie)... He tapped me, with about as much force as a half assed clap. I just turned around and stared at him. lol
     
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  7. teamster145

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    I think it is best if it is a little startling at first. Never let the know when it is going to happen. That is the way I roll.
     
  8. 10_3XL

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    Do the spanking lightly and playfully the first time around.
    Then get up and tell her, "I gotta go get something!"
    Come back into the room carrying a giant paddle declaring, "Bend over - here it comes again!"
    Gauge her reaction and go from there. :D
     
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  9. johnnyangel694u

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    Just do it. If she doesn't turn around and punch you in the face, then all is good,
     
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  10. Cappy_Dick

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  11. minskminx

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    Ask her during dirty talk if you do not want to ask in a more normal situation.
     
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  12. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    I know I've already responded here, but... I have a new answer.

    "From behind."
     
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  13. Doitagain

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    I have really only tried the spanking thing a few times. I really only have been with one woman who really really liked it. The other times I tried it I just felt cheesy and stupid. With the one , I felt kind of stupid but she would egg me on and made me feel as I could do no wrong so that was good. So as how to start it? Lol I have no idea
     
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  14. Adventurer

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    Good suggestion!


    Cheesy! That's the word! hahah. Yes, I would feel "cheesy". Like pretending Im something Im not or something.

    I keep telling myself it will only feel like that the first time. Then it will feel normal.... I hope. ;)
     
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  15. skinnyminnie

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    He never asked for my permission, but my bf does slap my ass during sex. It's definitely not a light tap. It's a full on slap, and I think it feels great. I don't like it if he does it too much because after a while it starts to hurt. It really brings something out of me though, and takes the sex to another level.

    You should just do it, and be confident about it.
     
  16. Kelly2244

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    When You're having sex with her lightly slap her ass and say did you like that? If she says Yes do it more and tell her it turns you on. If she says no I guess You're sol.
     
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  17. sagswing

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    Gotta go with the just do it contingent. First time spank of SO's asscheek during doggy resulted in a "on fuck yeah!" . . . figured we were good to go at that point. Note--being in the HEAT of the moment makes a big difference . . . the same smack on her ass at other times elicits a somewhat negative response :(
     
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  18. SemenShooter

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    I agree with the comments about the right time to try or bring up the subject. It has never been much of an issue for me as I've mostly had relationships/dates with either submissive or switch women,
     
  19. thekid36

    thekid36 Active Member

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    I think that when one is really in tune with someone, that sometimes words are not always necessarily needed. Sometimes, we tend to say the most with the least amount of actual words.

    That being said. Communication is vital and definitely extends into the bedroom.

    Some independent women enjoy the thought of a partner taking control a little because it tends to bring a sense of balance. Still, never good to assume this. Everyone is different. This is why exploring is so much fun.
     
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  20. HotForHoney

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    Yes please