How quickly is too quickly?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by missyhuggins, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. missyhuggins

    missyhuggins New Member

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    Hi, I'm new. Thanks for having me. :lol

    My SO thinks he comes too quickly which might be true if we didn't play for extensive periods of time before penetration but I think he doesn't given how long and hard we play.
    On average, first time around he can last between 2-5mins which is fine because by that stage, I'm lucky to last that long myself if I haven't already cum so it's not been an issue. Any rounds after that last longer ofcourse.

    He's quite worried about it.

    We've been together 7mths and personally I think our sex life is great and he says he's happy with me and how we fuck but wants to last longer, completely convinced it's not long enough.
    Doesn't matter what I say or how often I tell him that he's so fantastic at the whole thing that I don't think there's an issue at all.

    Anyway, wondering if maybe anyone has any ideas on either how to try and convince him (stories about how it's pretty regular after an 30-60mins of foreplay, first time around) OR perhaps things he could do to make him last a little longer so he stops stressing about it because him stressing is whats actually stressing me out.
     
  2. Dreama

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    What if you wrote him a sexy letter, which described in graphic detail all the things you love about your sex life with him. I think that might help a bit.
     
  3. igor

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    Hey - 2 to 5 minutes of thrusting is average, according to many sources. If you have already cum then it doesn't really matter much how long he lasts if you are satisfied. He could pause now and then to stretch it out.
     
  4. Barbwire

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    I think the best advice you can give your boyfriend is to tell him about this place. This topic has come up many, many times. There is a lot to be learned on this forum if you take the time to do the research.

    I really dont' think that there is anything YOU can say to him that will change his mind if he doesn't think he's lasting long enough. That is something that only he can resolve.
     
  5. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I once read somewhere that the average amount of time a guy lasts is about two minutes, so if he's lasting as long as five then he's above average. We have members here who would be very happy if they could last five minutes. :)

    A lot of guys think that what a woman wants is a marathon session of being pounded with a ten inch penis, and if he can't deliver that, then he's not a "real man." The reality is quite different though. Most women think being screwed nicely for seven and eleven minutes with a five-inch penis is ideal (and some are satisfied with even less time).

    I agree with CL, though. It doesn't matter how many times you tell him how awesome in bed he is, he'll never get over this problem until he's ready to do so.
     
  6. cbrmale

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    Two minutes was average in the 1940s and the Kinsey sex report; men typically last longer than that these days, generally anything from 3 minutes to 6 or 7 minutes. The 2 to 5 minute range is not far off that, however. I read recently that a survey of women showed they were more satisifed with intercourse that lasted 3 to 7 minutes than intercourse that lasted longer than 15 minutes. Perhaps you can discuss some of these times with him, and he'll get a better understanding of where he fits in the scheme of things.

    Very few (hardly any) men last longer than 7 minutes, which seems to be a magic time.
     
  7. missyhuggins

    missyhuggins New Member

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    Thanks everyone.

    We had a chat today and he's agree to at least try not to worry about it. I suggested perhaps if he was really worried about it that maybe we could do more with him so he cums and we move onto the next round straight away. He seemed happy with that. I rationalised with the whole "Well, women are often serviced before hand blah blah so why not have you get off first and we'll move on from there."

    Anyways, Ta. :)
     
  8. Barbwire

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    My husband has issues with coming quickly as well as ED, and the longer he has to mess around with getting me off, the faster he orgasms when he penetrates. So, we do as you and your b/f have talked about. Last night was a prime example. He worked on me for a bit, but I could tell he was getting really amped up, so I let him go for it. He lasted a bit longer than usual. Afterwards, I used a vibe to get myself off.

    We both went to bed happy and slept like logs.

    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done. ;)

     
    #8 Barbwire, Jan 12, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2009
  9. Mr.Tongue

    Mr.Tongue New Member

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    I was worried about the same thing only lasting about 2 minutes, then the doc put me on some meds for other things, that have a side effect of making last longer/work harder.
    now the issue has come up form my wife that she's not appealing to me anyone because it takes so long to get off , if we don't give up from getting sore.
    som etimes it's not all bad as long as both are gettin g off, sooner you can get back to the TV :D
     
  10. Barbwire

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    Mr.Tongue, what is this magical medication and how can I get a 50 gallon drum of it? :dgrin
     
  11. bigpappi

    bigpappi Member

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  12. HardRocker

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    A couple or three minutes is about right for me after extensive foreplay. If I want to last longer, I usually fuck first and help her finish after I'm spent.