How much was your bedtime experience amplified post marriage?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Jayce, Jul 17, 2006.

  1. Jayce

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    Pretty much what the title says. How much was your sex life amplified after marriage? In the current standing, my girlfriend and I don't have much time together. I think it's due to the insane amount of stress she's been under for a while.

    I didn't really want to talk to her and basically say "you know our sex life BETTER be good when we get married." I'm sure it will be, but I figured I'd ask how many experienced it.
     
  2. pirouette

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    Well, I can't say enough about having privacy when you are married. That definately helps a lot. Having your own place is a wonderful thing. This gives you time and opportunity you may not have when you date.
    However, it really depends on your schedule, your stress level....it depends on where you are at that point in your life. For us, it has gotten better with each year that we've been married. Of course there are always stressful times that put a damper on your sex drive, but if you marry the right person, they'll be ready to jump back in the sack when life slows down again.
    Good luck, Jayce......How's the fan tonight?
     
  3. Jayce

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    The fan is pretty damned good tonight. I'm sittin here jamming to some ACDC trying to figure out how to install these JAVA plugins for Linux so I can watch me some adult videos. :lol
     
  4. pirouette

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    You really make me laugh! Never change, dude. ::rofl
     
  5. AnonymousOne

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    Yeah ... Linux is just beyond me...

    *Dies Laughing* I just read that last part! Dude ... I got tears in my eye's I'm laughing so hard ... just don't get it caught in the fan! :lol
     
  6. Jayce

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    Hopefully I'm only minutes away from enhancing my viewing enjoyment. I'm on a Linux forum getting help to allow video feeds to go through. YEAHHHHHHHHHH.

    Sadly last night I had only my mind to use. I refused to boot the computer into Windows so I had no choice. :(

    Tonight I'm picking up a spray bottle. It's so fricken hot out I think I'll be spraying some spritz's of water into the fan to make a cooler, more relaxed result.
     
  7. Littlefair

    Littlefair New Member

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    Marriage doesnt kill sex life people do. Keep the spark alive and all will be fine. What you need to be asking yourself though is why is the spark not here now.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. eandvk

    eandvk Member

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    My wife and I lived together 2 yrs. before we got married, and she had 2 kids from her previous marriage living with us. We had sex about 4-5 times a week then and now after almost 7 yrs. of marriage, we still have sex 4-5 times a week. I guess we are lucky that we both make time to spend together, and now that our kids are older, we dont have to be Mom and Dad so much. Makes alone time alot easier.
     
  9. Jayce

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    My thing is, I'm expecting and hoping our sex life to multiply once we get our own place. Unfortunately, this won't be for another 3 fricken years. :yell She's got 3 years of college left, and it's hard for us to get a lot of free time together when she's in college. You folks can probably relate, after a while of not doing anything together for a while, you start to do everything you can to at least SEE her boobs. As more time passes, it gets to the point you just cherish even a lunch break you two can spend together. That's how it is when she's in college. But I'll tell you folks one thing. When you wait that long, when you finally have a chance together, DAMN is it ever GOOD! :brow

    I guess that's what I'm hoping happens. Granted, it'll be a few years till we get married, but I'm just hoping that bottled up self control she's been forced to maintain over the years is released. :brow :brow :brow :brow
     
  10. Jayce

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    It's not that the spark isn't there, it's just we've both been stressed out like crazy for quite a long time. Her and I have grown closer and closer, but our privacy is just so minimal. Since it's summer, she lives at home. She has literally 0 privacy there. I also live at home, with nearly 0 privacy. At her college, we have more chances for privacy BUT we see each other less. Meh.
     
  11. Clark

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    My wife and I did not have sex with each other before marriage. She was a virgin when we married (I was not - I'd had sex with girlfriends.... and a couple of one-night-stands).

    After marriage, our sex life was luke-warm. It gradually got ice cold after about 5 years. My wife is a terrible lover.
     
  12. Lusty Dreams

    Lusty Dreams New Member

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    Well, we lived together 2 years before we were married. It was pretty good I think. Now, it is maybe once a weekend, sometimes every other weekend. It really really sucks. I am usually the only one that brings this up or tries to talk about it. Or get anything done about it. I never see or hear him try to help *us* out. But I know he has given himself a HAND of help when I am not around :(

    I am a damn good lover to. I just feel that I get very cheated. For example, see my post, "Just how powerful is Lust?" My husband has never given me an orgasm, and it seems to not both him that he never has or does. So, my situation is weird.

    Yes, I feel very shunned, left out, and never get mine. Even though he is a swell person, and good to me. I know I am a very sexual creature, he just doesn't bring it out of me, AT ALL.

    IMO, marriage usually ends sex. I have rarely seen it otherwise. The exceptions are on this board.
     
  13. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    We've been married nearly 12 years. We have sex together 4 or more times a week. I also get together with my lover one or two times a week (hubby knows, sometimes joins). It hasn't always been like this though. We went through a spell where we had sex once every four to eight weeks. I had no desire to participate at all. Studying and learning about tantra helped me.... but that's a huge long story.....
     
  14. Clark

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    Well, I think I can speak for everyone on this forum in saying that that's a story we'd all like to hear.
     
  15. Krof

    Krof New Member

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    Why would sex be better because of marriage? Or even the other way around? It doesn't make any sense at all. It's not like marriage makes special magic to your genitals.. :eyes
     
  16. pirouette

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    Because marriage implies privacy- from family or roomates. Because it takes time to learn what your partner really likes. Because, within the bounds of marriage, you can built ultimate trust- and not fear rejection in any sexual situation. I'm certain that my husband has performed certain sexual acts with me that he never would have tried on the dating scene. This is probably true for long term relationships without a marriage as well.
     
  17. littlejimmypuff

    littlejimmypuff New Member

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    It does make sense

    In retrospect, I see now where we are compared to 10 years ago. What I thought was good sex then, now seems kind of dull. No marriage doesn't do anything magical to you genitals, but it does teach you how to use everthing else that takes time to develop. As a relationship progresses, comfort level rises and you become free to really explore, without insecurities and that makes for some exciting stuff. I can't thing of anything I did before, with anyone, that compares to now.
     
  18. Krof

    Krof New Member

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    Well that's because of having a long relationship, not getting married.
     
  19. Joe

    Joe
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    I've been married 3 times.

    In the first one we didn't live together before getting married, and yet the frequency of sex was cut in half immediately after Day One as Mr. and Mrs. and then slowly dwindled to nothing over the next 15 years.

    With the second one we lived together for just under a year before getting married. I don't think the marriage cut down on the frequency, but it did slowly dwindle from 2-4 times daily the first few weeks we lived together to a more realistic 4-6 times a week before she suddenly and unexpectedly died after 3.5 years together.

    My current wife and I lived together for 3 years before we were married 4 years ago. Again, the frequency is less than it was in the beginning, but I think that's more a result of the excitement of a new relationship naturally dwindling as time passes -- and from stress and fatigue caused by my wife's job. I'd say our relationship is stronger now than ever, but our frequency of sex is half what it was in the first few months together -- from pretty much daily to 2-4 times per week.
     
  20. hudsonredgrave

    hudsonredgrave New Member

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    I don't think you should be thinking that the sex will improve after marriage, I would bet in most cases it is the opposite. I have been married for over twenty years, before we got married my wife was ready anytime, anywhere. Nearly as soon as we tied the knot she started to show signs of losing interest. We were married six years before trying to have children and that was something she wanted very badly, and what a lift to our sex life that became. It took almost a year for her to get pregnant and by the time she did, I was ready for a rest. Needless to say after two kids, our sex life went by to the once a week, if you're lucky pace. Now the only time she kicks it up a notch is when I take her on a nice vacation. I can have more sex in a week on vacation than in three months at home.

    Can anyone relate to this???