How much is too much?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by lyssamay, Mar 23, 2007.

  1. lyssamay

    lyssamay New Member

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    Last weekend i went to a 'fresher camp' a camp for all the first year students in engineering at my university. Thing is, engineering is blatantly a complete cock-fest. There were 72 guys and 28 girls there. It was 3 days and 2 nights of unlimited beer and partying.

    On the morning after the first night of camp, i found out i had sex with 4 guys. And the next morning I found out I had another 2, and one of the guys from the first night again.

    Does this make me a whore? Is it really too many guys?
    And what advice do you have for me now? Should I try and talk to the guys? All my friends say that I should, but I don't think it's necessary.
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Uh, I don't think talking to each or any of them is necessary. The issue that concerns me is the "found out".....who kept track for you, since you didn't?
     
  3. NaughtyKnickers

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    I'm with Mel, it's a little scary that you just 'found out' later. :ugh

    You have to decide how many men you think is appropriate for you and under what circumstances are acceptable.

    Perhaps you should first determine what your views on sex are and then gague your actions by that.
    Is sex just a physical activity to be enjoyed by two people? Does it require special feelings between two people? Is it appropriate between any two (or more) people, regardless of whether a relationship exists or not?, etc.

    I'm not pressing views one way or another, just trying to present a few questions that might help you define your own personal views about sex. Perhaps defining your personal views about sex itself can help you form some guidelines as to what's alright for your own activity(?).

    Best wishes :)
     
  4. happy

    happy Banned

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    i would also advise not to tell any guys this. i am a guy, and i would consider you a dirty slut. PLEASE dont take this the wrong way. Im sure you are a very kind girl, but that a good way to get diseases of all kinds. Im remember being 18 and raging hormones and all of that, but the choice is really up to you.
     
  5. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I remind the ORIGINAL poster that this, however disturbing, is an OPINION. And we do allow opinions; you ASKED for opinions. Sometimes we don't like it, or even disagree about the presentation....... but they are opinions just the same.
     
  6. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    The worst part is you don't remember the sex. That would make me sad.

    I don't like the word whore, it might make you a little loose and you might have a reputation as such by now, but you can blame it on the alcohol. Lay off of the beer, if you were so drunk that you couldn't remember 6 sexual encounters then you were way to drunk. Especially since you are 18, are you an american? I drank plenty when I was underage, but not at a camp or something hosted by my school. Slow down, you've got four years of college.
     
  7. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Honestly, I think that's very important advice. We'd like to think that what we might do in our personal time might not matter to our education and our profession. It simply is not true. All it takes is one professor who says that you are not behaving within the moral standards of your major, and you're booted from your major program. Nobody wants to be a kiss ass, but it's simply not realistic that you can be who and what and how you want to be at all times without repercussions.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    I consider this a highly inappropriate post. Whatever a person does with their sex life, is their business. When they they ask for advice, it will be given with respect. I have had around 100 partners in my life, does that make me dirty too?

    In Australia we have gone past sluts, we don't have that tag anymore.

    Back to the posting at hand, I understand what happened, alcohol-fuelled and all. I was in a male dominated university course, and I've seen similar. In some ways, I have been in the same space as you, as you can see from the number of partners I have slept with. In my case I was afraid of committment, and I buried my fears in casual sex. I was mistaking my naked body and a girl's naked body together for something more than it really was. It was just fucking, and often not very good fucking too. Later I found out what good sex was about, and then I wished I could go back and erase my past and live it a different way.

    Do you ever walk down the street and see couples your age hand-in-hand, the girl looking into the guys eyes, the guy looking at his girl and beaming? Do you want that to happen to you one day, to be the centre of some guys universe, for him to worship and adore you as the most beautiful person in the world? Do you want to nuzzle up to him at night and just feel his strength and smell his scent and listen to him breathing while he sleeps? None of these things happen when it is sex between strangers.

    This is the one thing I would change in my life, if I could.

    Think about what you want not out of sex, but out of life. When you work this out, think about how you can go about getting it. You are in university and you are obviously an intelligent young woman, and men just love intelligent women. You've got a lot going for you, once you work out what it is you want for now and the future.
     
  9. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    First, while the responder used a label, he did very much state that it was his opinion. I didn't like it either. But while we should not gang up and judge the original poster who asked the question, we should not gang up and judge the person who answered her question honestly. The boundary between opinion and judgement is thin, questionable; I do believe he expressed an opinion, or it would have been handled.

    Second, all first time lovers are strangers to begin with. That hand in hand, beaming, nuzzling, MOST....develops. It is not just there. It begins with giving a stranger a chance. Some of us are lucky enough to find that early on, or naive enough to believe that's what it is, at least, early on. Some..... are not. And six partners, no matter the span, does not make one anything other than sexual. While some seem upset that a responder was strong in their opinion, it seems that those same people are equally opinionated, just less blatantly articulate.
     
  10. happy

    happy Banned

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    Thank you malicious for backing me up. It was my opinion, and i am sorry to the original poster if it hurt her feelings. I did say "PLEASE dont take this the wrong way. Im sure you are a very kind girl, but that a good way to get diseases of all kinds." Though i dont feel it totally necessary to defend my comments, i should apoligize for the "dirty slut" part--maybe that was a bit harsh. And in answering your question, yes, 100 lovers would make you somewhat of a slut to me, in my eyes CBRmale.
     
  11. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    HOWEVER........... Happy.......... Age matters; lifestyle matters; expectations, morals, and beliefs matter....... 100 may seem a lot to you. While you can say "a lot", can you earnestly say "wrong". I don't get to make that judgement; do you?
     
  12. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    MELicious. I am DELICIOUS Mel...... see? Not MALicious.
     
  13. cbrmale

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    Happy,
    I am glad you thought your original posting was harsh, I thought the language inappropriate. As for me, nothing I did was bad or wrong, no alcohol involved with me or any of those partners at any time (something I am very, very particular about). I am agnostic, so I am not tied to religious beliefs. My own moral perspective is that anything is fair as long as it doesn't harm me or anyone else.

    Sex is a personal and private thing. As long as it is adult to adult, and fully consensual, then no-one gets harmed. The value of whether one has one partner for life, or a few, or many, is not for any of us to judge. However when a individual is worried about their sex life and asks for help, attaching labels to that person doesn't achieve anything positive at all.
     
  14. cbrmale

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    I understand what you are saying, and what I am trying to do is relate lyssamay's present to my past. I did find love, but I didn't find it while I was substituting sex for love.

    I hope that at some time in the future lyssamay looks back on her past with the satisification that all the experiences were part of a learning process, and in the end came triumph.
     
    #14 cbrmale, Mar 24, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2007
  15. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Only one thing I can add here, if Lyssamay is going to any more of these camps and is going to get too drunk to know what's happening, maybe wearing a chastity belt would be a good idea.

    I wouldn't want any sexual encounter to be something I couldn't remember and more to the point, I would want the female to enjoy it as much. Taking advantage of an inebriated female is something I've never done and wouldn't.

    I don't see much point in talking to the guys Lyssamay, what's done is done. If you want to have sex with any them again, that's your choice, but take care for your own sake and enjoy it if you do.
     
  16. Master9804

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    No it doesn,t make u a whore. I think that,s just something people call others just to judge them or to be extra Kinky hehe. You are 18 and a adult and a free person to do what ever u choose as long as it,s Legal of course. I would advise thou as least using protection if at all possible. Other wise sounds like u had a wild weekend or three days. I remember them days. Where u say this camp was? Hehe. J/K
     
  17. lyssamay

    lyssamay New Member

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    i totally agree here. There was another camp two weeks prior to this that i went on - it was very similar but the #1 rule was no munting. But at the camp last weekend i don't think they had any problems with it. I remember i lost about 2 hours of the second night, and woke up alone in a dorm, covered in jizz.
    I was too wasted to realise how disgusting this was. I mean how demeaning is that to be passed out and have some guy(s) cum all over you.
    And what scares me is that i have no idea what else happened during this time. it could have been anything.

    Yeah i don't plan on talking to any of the guys, but this will be hard considering they are all in most of my classes.

    At first i wasn't actually ashamed of my behaviour but the more i think about it the more i regret it. It's only 4 weeks in to the first semester of my first year of my 5.5 year degree and i've already earned this awful reputation.

    and this isn't something i've ever done before. It's not something i do on a regular basis. Up until i started at this university i was a complete angel - no sex no drinking no partying. And it scares me that ive made such a huge leap in the past few weeks.
     
  18. GoCougs

    GoCougs New Member

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    Wait so you lost your virginity in one night and then went onto 3 other guys afterwards? Then the next night you went onto 2 more guys? Sweetie you NEED to watch out for your self. Trust me I know how it is to be a 18 year old straight out of highschool and no longer under mommy and daddy's control but you have to control yourself. There are guys out there at college that are just looking for sorry to say "stupid" freshmen like yourself to take advantage of you. I would be careful and most importantly go get checked out for ANY and ALL STD's
     
  19. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim New Member

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    We all make mistakes and wish we hadn't. Just get back to your studies and wait for the next camp out. If you feel terrible about it, don't do it again. If you feel ok, go ahead and have fun and quit worrying what anybody thinks. If you were my daughter, I would give you a spanking, over my knee, bare ass, me with a hard-on, and make big red handmarks on your butt and rub them till they disappear. Hope you have 5 years of fun and never regret a minute.
     
  20. lyssamay

    lyssamay New Member

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    No i wasn't a virgin, but i'd never had sex in a situation like this before.
    And i'm not 100% foolish, i have already made an appointment to get checked for STDs, and while i don't remember everything that happened, the parts i was conscious for i made sure we used protection. I mean i know its not 100% safe but i was trying.

    and i know you say it seems that they are taking advantage of me, but i wanted it just as much as they all did. if anything i think i got the best deal. In no way am I good looking, but these boys were really really sexy. I felt very lucky :)