How far until it's cheating?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Adramalech, Mar 18, 2007.

  1. Adramalech

    Adramalech New Member

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    I know a lot of people who have different views on what is considered "cheating" and was curious as to what you guys/gals thought. I know some that think Cybering is cheating, and others feel that giving oral is fine, but as soon as it gets to vaginal/anal intercourse it's cheating. Keep in mind this is based on what is done behind your back as I know a lot of people who view swingers as unfaithful.

    Me, Full fledged kissing is where I draw the line as it will usually end up in bed 9/10.
     
  2. Dreama

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    In my relationship, we've defined any giving of non-friend natured affection to others as cheating. We both agree on these parameters, and it's fine with us, keeping this rule. But, all relationships are very different, and that's just what we've agreed on.
     
  3. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I think it is what you and your partner define it as. For my spouse and I, it moves to cheating (being unfaithful) when things are done in secret, behind the other's back. Our agreement is that the partner always knows before anything "intimate" happens with any other person, online or in person.
     
  4. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    There are no universal rules regarding cheating. Cheating is define by the boudaries of the realtionship and therefore varies with each couple. So what one couple may define as cheating. Another couple may define as perfectly acceptable.
     
  5. Adramalech

    Adramalech New Member

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    I am well aware of that hence my thread. I was curious as to what you considered cheating. :D
     
  6. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Someone is cheating when they have relationships outside their partnership of any description that their partner doesn't agree with.
    It can be damned awkward if the partner is a very jealous type!
    I once had a GF who thought I was cheating if I even looked at another woman.
    She didn't last long!
     
  7. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    To me cheating involves doing something behind a partners back, when done in secret i think it becomes cheating whether it be physical or cyber.
     
  8. loveit247

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    Anything that you do that you know if done to you would upset you.
     
  9. Dreama

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    I tend to agree with anything done behind my partner's back. That's the bottom line to my above statement.
     
  10. sweet melissa

    sweet melissa New Member

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    To us, cheating is generally considered anything done behind the others back, or anything done dishonestly. Neither of us considers cyber sex cheating as it similar to using porn. That is, just another way to get sexually stimulated. We both use cyber for masturbation, we both use porn for masturbation. We do it each knowing the other does also.
     
  11. barbie

    barbie New Member

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    Well some people here know how I feel about cyber sex.
    It can be daedly.I know of 2 marriages that broke up because of it.MY cousins husband husband left her for a woman in florida.And a friends wife left him for another man and went to Canada.Left thier little boy behind with his dad.If it's ever done in my house I won't wait for him to leave .I will do it first.:mad
     
  12. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Personally for me I do not consider cybersex cheating as it is more of fantasy play then reality. There is no penetration and in many cases a very low likelihood of meeting. Now if it progressed beyond the cybersex to planning an actual meet then I would say you are entering into a very gray area.

    As for my wife and I our definition is quite narrow. For me I would not consider it cheating if she slept with another guy and was up front to me about it before it occurred. However if did it behind my back without talking to me about it I would consider that cheating. I do not consider it cheating we when have done a few of our threesomes.
     
  13. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Mmmm. If wishes were peanuts.
     
  14. Bluesy

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    Every elephant could eat to its heart's content?
     
  15. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Something very close to that.

    If wishes were peanuts, I WOULD BE an elephant.

    ;)

    We all have limits/boundaries. We have to define those on our own. And go from there.
     
  16. barbie

    barbie New Member

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    Couldn't have said it better myself.If they don't think it's cheating and wrong why hide it.
     
  17. Bluesy

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    I was trying to come up with an equivalent for the old "If wishes were horses, even beggars would ride." :p ;) I totally agree with you, btw.
     
  18. mersinarii

    mersinarii New Member

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    cheating is only cheating if u feel bad or get caught...hahahahahahah
     
  19. SexyScorp

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    Cheating means lieing doesnt it?
     
  20. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Difficult topic for me this one.

    Simply because I have never been cheated upon and have never cheated on anyone within my marriage.

    But for me, I would consider my wife to have cheated if this happened with me finding out afterwards:

    That is if she found another person sexually attractive and actually acted up on that attraction. Meaning intimate physical contact which would include kissing, or further action.

    Now if I discovered that say at an office staff party, she had drunk too much and done some basic flirting, I'd not have a problem with that at all.