How do you resist others?!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by psycho123, May 23, 2007.

  1. psycho123

    psycho123 New Member

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    I love my girlfriend very much, I have no doubt in my feelings for her, I would do anything for her. We've been together for a couple years now. But...I cannot resist looking at other girls. I just can't control it. She catches me and gets pissed off every time, so I've learned to look more towards the ground and such as we walk along the streets. Every second I'm not with her, though, my eyes are always wandering. My girlfriend herself is quite beautiful, but I just cannot deny the *fact* that there are millions of other beautiful girls around. I know I'm *supposed* to be all like, "there's no one for me but my girl," but in terms of sex and sexual attraction, not at all. I would never cheat on her (my conscience won't let me, I'd at least leave her properly first), but it's not rare to find myself whacking it to porn, or, worse, I find myself concentrating on the beautiful girls in my classes or on the streets that I saw that day while we're having sex.

    This is my first *serious* relationship, and I'm only a couple years into my 20s. I'm pretty convinced my young age (and therefore raging sexual juices and whatnot) are causing this. But how do you deal with it? What really is worrying me is that, if this is my time to shine sexually, is it a mistake to commit (talks of a married future have happened several times) and cage the snake for good? Or am I missing out on vital human experiences of having "fun" and being "free"? I was the kind of guy in high school who was quiet and shy and never had girls around me and attention and such. But now having almost finished college, my status as unattractive nerd has reversed itself 180 and now I have so many opportunities to be with so many beautiful girls. Basically, I've been the "good" guy my whole life and I feel like I'm missing out on all the "bad" stuff, the fun times. But then I know what happens to people who go "bad" and have some fun, they end up alone and unhappy, full of regret. Arg now I'm just babbling on and on, I'm so frusterated and lost.
     
  2. Logger

    Gold Member

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    You can consciously control where you look and focus with your eyes. You can change your habits, if you set your mind that it is important.

    For me, I picture my woman as every woman in the world. So if I have a vsion of a lovely woman, the next time I make love with my woman, I envison images of any atractive woman that has come to mind recently. Then the women I have imagined during making love with my woman, no longer come to my mind. I start a fresh crop to imagine.

    There is a transition period of going form relying on your hand when single, to relying on your woman, when you have a woman to love. To manage masturbation, if I don't look at porn, I don't get hard. If I don't start pumping, I won't get to the point where I need to keep going to squirt.

    Having a woman means you are less likely to pick up some disease. Herpes is eas to pci up, so when you pull down your pants, you have pimples.

    Since you are now a stud, you can be more assertive about asking your woman for what you want from her. If she dumps you for being annoying, you have the confidence to find another woman who will be accomodating to you. Loyalty is a feeling that your woman cans sense, and is important to her. Your woman wil probably want to get married and have children. The reputation of Loyalty will be something that will be a value to her, and will hopefuly keep her honoring yhour marriage.

    COUPLE from Love and Respect
    Closeness
    Opneness
    Understanding
    Peacemaking
    Loyalty
    Esteem

    I know guys who play around, but there are sometimes unforseen, surprise consequrences.

    Post back more things you want from your woman, and work toward inspiring your woman to be everything you deisre. Full spectrum coaching menas prasing rewarding and setting limits. Setting limits for yourself is a good way to coach your woman to follow your ideas on limits.

    You may not be aware of all your deisres for Respect:

    CHAIRS
    Conquest (Hobbies and work)
    Hierarchy (Who is more imoprtant)
    Authority (Where you desire control)
    Intuition (Respect foryour ideas and evaluations)
    Relationship ( What yhou expect from her)
    Sexuality (Understanding and Cooperation)


    Enjoy your woman.


    Enjoy
     
    #2 Logger, May 23, 2007
    Last edited: May 23, 2007
  3. camfan5

    camfan5 New Member

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    i have a similar problem. at the end of the day tho you are with her and so that means you rate her above the other girls. just remind her of that and she'll be happy
     
  4. Stormy

    Stormy New Member

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    Most men look, even overtly. Its instinct. Not looking is choice. For whatever reason. For that matter, lots of women look; at other men, even at other women. I've admired an attractive person of both sexes. So long as your not crude about it ie: juvenile comments etc.. I don't see the problem.

    Best "looking-but-not" I ever caught was my dad one day years ago. We were at the beach. A very attractive young woman in a very tiny bikini bounced by. My dad's head didn't move a muscle, but his eyes sure did. Right til she was out of range of what his old eye muscles could do. Still makes me smile, thinking about it. :lol
     
  5. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Hello psycho123

    I think you have two very separate issues here.

    (1) Is the "Looking at other Girls"
    (2) Is the "Should I commit now to a long term relationship at the cost of missing out on sexual encounters with other girls.

    Issue (1) in my mind is quite straight forward and should not be a problem. I'm twenty years older than you and having been married for 15 years, I've never stopped looking at other women. It helps keep me feeling sexually vibrant when away from my wife. I'd suggest that the majority of men do it often even though they might not all admit to it. However if you are with your g/friend, clearly discretion is needed and that especially applies if she is the sort that is sensitive to such things or insecure about herself/her relationship with you. My wife has no problem with me at all because she knows that she is the only true love my life.

    Issue (2) I think is much more important to you.

    That's a tough one that only you can resolve with some deep thinking and evaluation of your current relationship and longer term thoughts. Some men would argue that it is a mistake to settle down until you've played the field a bit.

    But evaluate what you have with your current girlfriend and bear in mind that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
     
  6. HouseHunny

    HouseHunny New Member

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    There should not be a problem with looking, and even having a little fantasy here and there. I'm sure we all do it to some extent. What will make it wrong is you taking it to a further level and betray your current partner. Most of us women, have a tendency to be a little insecure about one thing or another. You might want to talk to her about the possibility of this being the case. Then, reassure her that she is the one you love and are committed to. Unless, you are not sure, being that you also showed a bit of uncertainty about her being the one. Try thinking at a deeper level to figure out if she is actually the one.
     
  7. tapmyglass

    tapmyglass New Member

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    I think it might even be better to encourage your fantasy and "wandering eyes". it's better to imagine yourself with other girls then to cheat with other girls.
     
  8. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    I have the same problem Pyshco, I hate looking all the time, and feeling like i am disrespecting my girl. She does not care, and will sometimes even comment on other females and males herself, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to do it so much, shes bad as shit too (check my pics :brow). Only advice I can give you with that is remember what you have at home, and although those chicks on the street might look real nice, they probably won't even compare to whateve u have. If you find yourself masterbating with thoughts of others more than the one your already with, maybe theres something you feel is lacking between you and hers sex life? Try getting more involved in your sex with her, talk about things you want to do; experiment; be more in the moment of sex, not just the nut, the whole process gettin there, so when your not doin it, your think about that next minute you get too, and your thoughts during masterbation will probably be more focused on yourr sex than someone elses.