How do I tell him I don't want sex anymore...it hurts

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by SarahBear2010, May 12, 2011.

  1. SarahBear2010

    SarahBear2010 New Member

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    We've had sex several times over the last 2 weeks. Truth is I don't like being touched down there anymore. I never wanted anyone touching me down there in the first place but let him because I wanted to see what it was like and trusted him Most of the time, it always been at least sort of painful if not a lot. I've always been uncomfortable about sex and anyone touching me. Don't know why

    How do I tell him that> We're just FWB and like to go back to platonic relationship
     
  2. nurseharley

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    first off, you probably should have never let him touch you down there if it's something that makes you so uncomfortable and you say you don't even want.

    but either way, just simply tell him that it hurts you and you don't want to have sex anymore. you're not getting any pleasure out of it and if he cares anything about you, he'll respect that. it's not like you owe him anything.
     
  3. Jonger84

    Jonger84 New Member

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    You can say that you are not feeling very comfortable with having sex with him ... tell him that the problem is yours .. and you need a break just not to hurt his feelings ( nothing would kill a guy like knowing that he can not satisfy his girl ...

    Then take your time to figure out what is the real reason for this .. without being under pressure
     
  4. Texas_Red

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    Kinda tough what to make of this. Without asking questions not related to the main question though, i think it's been covered. You need to basically make it clear that you were curious but never really liked being touched, and still don't, so you want to stop. Really no other way to go about it.
     
  5. Kermit

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    are we talking about emotionally painful or physically painful?
     
  6. nurseharley

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  7. SarahBear2010

    SarahBear2010 New Member

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    Both, I think, maybe idk
     
  8. Kermit

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    well sometimes if it's emotional painful might be rooted in a trauma like sexual abuse which would require therapy. If it's physical there could be something wrong. There is a condition that makes penetration very painful and sex impossible at least without tears. I'm not sure if theres an external equivalent..Thats why i ask. Cause if it is rooted in past sexual abuse or you have a treatable condition you can have a full sexual life.

    But since it's about how to tell him, maybe i'm just an asshole, i would say "i don't wanna be friends with benefits, it's not that i dont' want sex with you it's anyone" if he's a good guy he'll understand, if not fuck him, you're better off. A really good friend will understand be sensitive and will want nothing but pleasure from the sexual encounters.
     
  9. SarahBear2010

    SarahBear2010 New Member

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    I can't recall being sexual abused unless I was super young like a baby or the memory of it has been "blanked" out
     
  10. Kermit

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    Well that's good, no one should ever suffer that kind of abuse.
     
  11. AGFUNK

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    Just tell him that it hurts and you don't want to have sex anymore. You should also go to a doctor and see if there is anything wrong down there if you haven't already. Sex should never be painful and touching shouldn't either.
     
  12. Trond

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    FWB when you don't even like sex sounds like a lose-lose situation to me. It is one thing if you have a steady relationship - people tend to make some sacrifices to make it work with someone who will take care of you when you need it- but it sounds to me like you're not getting anything out of this, so I would suggest cutting it right now. Could be a good idea to see a doctor about those pains though.
     
  13. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    I'd repeat some of the questions from the other thread, IMO it sounds like inexperience resulting in doing it wrong. The other thread made it sound like he's jumping in without foreplay and this one makes it sound like he gives you some foreplay but maybe presses too hard.

    The direct answer to your direct question is say no.

    If that's not what you're after and you want it to be pleasant, which probably has to come first before anything either of you do can have a chance to make it pleasant, maybe you can learn by touching yourself what works, then you'll be able to help him understand what to do right by communicating with him to be softer or harder or slower or faster or when it's too sensitive or you don't feel it enough or whatnot.

    If you're looking to have a better sexual experience, walk us through what happens so we can give pointers on areas needing improvement.

    If you just want it to stop, say no, end of story.
     
  14. nurseharley

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    this thread is like a transformer, theres more than meets the eye!
     
  15. docpete

    docpete New Member

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    This doc agrees with the nurse. Just smells fishy to me....
     
  16. Stefanie

    Stefanie New Member

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    Agreeing with the above post.

    If you search her threads it looks a bit. . . off.
     
  17. EnticingPassion

    EnticingPassion New Member

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    When I feel like I'm making her feel uncomfortable I stop and ask what she wants to do even if I'm "close" because I care more about how they feel then I do about myself.
    I can't do my thing if I know that she doesn't want it and that's why I'm looking for an insatiable girl right now.
    I don't understand how anyone can still be turned on knowing they are actually hurting their loved one physically/mentally.