[Ask a Guy] How do I suggest talking friends "with benefits"

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by luvsmusiccm, Oct 4, 2010.

  1. luvsmusiccm

    luvsmusiccm New Member

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    without freaking him out. Someone I don't know well or just met
     
  2. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    When asked a general question like this with no information about the person asking or the person intended, there is really only ever one answer that will be given with any credibility.

    Answer: It depends.

    In order to provide a better answer, we need to know about you (age, social circle, marital status, social tendencies), the other person (same things), nature of the relationship already, and what your intentions are. Once we know these things, we can provide a better suggestion, but really you aren't going to get anything but generic advise and heresay unless you disclose a little more about yourself and your situation.

    ~Steve
     
  3. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    Thanks luvsmusiccm
    Just the thread I nead at this second. I am feeling a bit nauseous at the moment,. Having email convo with husband right now,trying to excite him and things went a little awry. There are very long pauses between emails.
    He is kinda the one that suggested swinging/swapping whatever and it only took a short time before I was gung-ho for it. We have met a couple and chatted and the female and I hit it off immediantely and i wanted to meet her this weekend, but she is going out of town, so she suggested that her husband would not be going out of town and would leave it up to him what he wanted to do. i took the idea of another thread here, meeting with the male and then meeting up with my husband to tell all and have more fun. Well I dont know how that is working for me , because no more emails after #14. I have to breath deep.
    HELP
     
  4. Meee

    Gold Member

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    Well, if you don't know the person well, is he really a friend yet? If you want to start a relationship, there are ways to do that; but I don't think coming at him right at the beginning with a label for it is a good idea. Talk to him, get to know him, seduce him, whatever--but keep the label just in the back of your mind for now.
     
  5. FlirtyChick

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    I think you should get to know the person better as a friend before you suggest friends with benefits, otherwise, you are looking at a couple of one-nighters....What do you want, random sex, or continual sex with the same partner without a relationship?
     
  6. lbushwalker

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    If it is just sex you want then tell him straight of your interest.
    Most guys would be flattered that a woman has such lust for his body.
    Having been there in the reverse I can tell you that it can be awesome, a once of or develop into something lasting. Good luck.
     
  7. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    There is good info in all of the above posts.

    Awakened....hang in there girl. It's probably not the bad situation that your dreading. Maybe just some unrelated thing with the emails...

    luvsmusiccm.....I'm a guy, and as such, I don't think I could ever be "put-off" by some girl sitting me down and telling me that she'd like to use me for simple, nasty, NSA sex...lol. So I'd say.........talk to the dude about it. If your feeling shy about it or awkward, maybe sit him down for the talk, but don't necessarily take the convo there yourself. Maybe say something at some point like "I'm guessing you rock in the sack, but I definitely don't want a relationship right now. How do you feel about me?"

    Maaaaaaaybe, he'll catch the hint and bring up the NSA sex so you won't have to? But remember, us guys don't exactly have a reputation for picking up hints. So your hints may have to be a bit bold...lol.
     
  8. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    You rock in the sack. I like that phrase.

    Sorry to hijack. I want to update on post made yesterday. I dug myself even deeper. I chatted alone with the male of the couple and had just downloaded yahoo camera chat . So we tested it out. Big mistake. His wife and my husband not happy. Needless to say they did not make our evening chat session. I did get a stern talking to for camming without him but he did find it exciting. No more of that....... we have such strong relationship things are cool and we still plan to find someone to play.
    Thank you for being my friend. All of you
     
  9. luvbug

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    Be blunt......ask him what he thinks about FWB's......in general and with you.
    Good Luck
     
  10. Simon70

    Simon70 New Member

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    Yea good luck. I actually posted something like this a couple years back on the forum. It is def a possibility. The friend and I never did and then it happened and from that point our relationship has only grown and now she is actually my bestfriend. Theres a lot of hope for your beliefs/needs