How do I start having sex?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Scythe999, Dec 21, 2013.

  1. Scythe999

    Scythe999 New Member

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    I'm a 22 year old virgin with a relentless sex drive. I masturbate a lot, at least twice a day/night and I can't get it off my mind. My orgasms are always intense but never enough. I just feel like I'm missing the full experience.

    I'm worried that when I eventually start having sex I won't be able to connect with my partner... because I'm so used to going solo.

    The main thing that's stopped me is the fact I have Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning autism) which means I find it hard understanding & interacting with people. This has kind of contributed to me never being in a serious relationship. The one 'relationship' I have been in only lasted 2 weeks and included my first kiss & BJ... He didn't respect me so I ended it.... maybe too prematurely.

    I am just so fed up of 1. being single and 2. being a virgin when sex/orgasms is the one thing that makes me intensely happy.

    So how do I get started? I don't see virginity as special - it's the best that counts not the first - so I don't care much for saving myself. I just want the guy to have a high sex drive, be private (not tell everyone) & be respectful but I'm not used to initiating sex! I'm giid at flirting & teasing but going further is an obstacle. Any tips? Also, I don't want them to know I'm a virgin... because then they'll just sleep with me for that.

    Thanks!
     
  2. HotForHoney

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    I say find a nice girl and start dating. Take it slow, get to know each other. The relationship will progress from there - emotionally and physically.

    I don't think going out and sleeping around just to say you are no longer a virgin is going to give you the satisfaction.
     
  3. lbushwalker

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    As HFH said above but with a guy instead ;)
     
  4. HotForHoney

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    Yea, missed that part.... Or not, depending on your preference.
     
  5. Silverfox

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    I think seeking random sexual encounters might be counter productive. Are you working on any behavior therapies that might help with social interaction? If not, this might be an avenue to pursue, with your social/sexual interests as a focus. How do you pursue friendship that might lead to a sexual relationship?
     
  6. backcheck64

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    I met my wife on one of my weekly "random sexual encounters". I was far from a virgin, but every weekend was a trip to find random sexual encounters, my wife fell in that path, and that was 31 yrs ago and we are still together. Don't badmouth RSEs.
     
  7. Silverfox

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    Do you have Asperger syndrome?
     
  8. HotForHoney

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    Not bashing your method, just might not be the best method for OP
     
  9. backcheck64

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    No, just out to nail as many hot babes as possible. I doubt I would have met her if not for my sex trips.
     
  10. Silverfox

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    OK, I see. Thanks.
     
  11. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    Might I just recommend asking one of your guy friends you find hot to be a fuck buddy? I had one when I was your age, lets you have sex with someone you're already comfortable with without the emotional connection of a relationship.
     
  12. biboyluke

    biboyluke Member

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    If you have Asperger's I'd advice against meeting a random person just to have sex. If you like someone you know, try to build more trust, but having sex with a stranger might be really unwise. If all you want is to have sex, then, as suggested above, at least talk to someone you know about becoming sex buddies, but do not just pick a guy up and fuck him. Just my advice.
     
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  13. lbushwalker

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    I agree with biboyluke.
    When you do find a suitable guy then honesty is the best policy.
    Tell him you are crazy to have sex but also tell him that you are inexperience but very keen to learn.
    In fact a virgin with keen enthusiastic attitude is way preferable to a jaded experienced woman who has seen and done it all and for whom it is just another fuck.
     
  14. biboyluke

    biboyluke Member

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    Yup. Plus, if you already know the guy, it'll be easier and faster than getting to know someone, and you can always go back to being friends if you establish rules
     
  15. Scythe999

    Scythe999 New Member

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    I am straight :) but replying to suggestion that's what I want to do ideally but it's really difficult for me.... the whole dating process.
     
  16. Scythe999

    Scythe999 New Member

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    Nope I haven't had any behavioural therapies for it, but I'm actually ok socially though sometimes a bit quiet. It's just when I see a guy I like I don't want to seem too eager so I play it cool but too cool... Other times I flirt a lot of guys I'm not into (because I'm comfortable with them) without really realising it. So I just find it hard knowing how to be forward without looking desperate I guess lol
     
  17. Scythe999

    Scythe999 New Member

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    How did you find women to have RSE?
     
  18. Scythe999

    Scythe999 New Member

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    Yeah I'm considering that actually... but at the moment I don't have any hot guy friends xD I mean I'd love to have a boyfriend to be emotionally connected with but my sex drive is impatient...
     
  19. Scythe999

    Scythe999 New Member

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    Yeah I agree, that seems just too risky for me.
     
  20. Scythe999

    Scythe999 New Member

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    Thanks for the advice!
    Hmmm I'd probably just say I'm inexperienced, though does that still insinuate I'm a virgin? xD The main reason I don't want the guy to know I'm a virgin is because he might just have sex for that sole reason and not for being attracted to me etc.