How do I meet new people?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Everett_Spair, Oct 31, 2011.

  1. Everett_Spair

    Everett_Spair Member

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    Hey everyone.
    I don't know if anyone here can help but i need to try and ask at least.

    I'm not good at social interaction in real life (much easier online which is why I'm here) and I'm quite shy. I have severe difficulty in talking to people I don't know especially if they are females.

    So I thought that there must be others who are like me and I tried searching online for other shy people I could talk to or something. I didn't find anything though so that was a letdown.

    So now I'm asking all of you if anyone can help a shy guy to be better at talking to new people. Maybe help me find some other shy people I could talk to or something, I'm not sure.

    ~E
     
  2. ply

    ply
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    Walk around with your dick hanging out. Guaranteed you will meet new people.

    And the next time I send you for beer, make sure it's cold. Where were you for those 2 hours?
     
  3. Everett_Spair

    Everett_Spair Member

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  4. Dragon_Fire

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    If you're really shy, don't hang around other shy people if you want conversation. Everyone will be too chicken to break the ice. :ugh

    Sometimes though, I have found being around people who are somewhat shier than me to be character building in that I often find myself making that first comment simply to avoid suffocating in the silence.

    Even though I have a social phobia, I can manage to attend parties and other group gatherings such as classes and meetings. Often people will see me looking lonely and come up to me. Strangely enough I usually act more confident around men than I do around my own gender.

    If you can find someone confident, hang around them enough even if you do at times feel a little overshadowed by them and eventually you will find that some of their confidence will rub off on you.
     
  5. Everett_Spair

    Everett_Spair Member

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    Thank you for your advice Dragon.
    I have had social phobia but i have had therapy so i can at least have a normal life now.
    Problem is there is no people to hang around for me. That is what I want help with. To actually find these new people.
    Parties and such is eomthing that have never been a apart of my life. No one ever invited me or wanted me to come along to parties when i was in school and I'm sort of still afraid of them. I don't feel comfortable when there are a big gathering of people like that.

    What I'm trying to ask I guess is in what ways can I meet new people that doesn't involve parties, bars and such.
     
  6. ply

    ply
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    Church, comunity or political functiions, Clubs, groups of interest?

    AA or Maybe a sex addicts group.
     
  7. Dragon_Fire

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    The problem with some groups is that you're expected to address the group as a whole. If you're shy or social phobic this can be traumatic. I prefer to attend meetings where I can get away with little or no participation and eventually I do find myself engaged in conversation.
     
  8. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    to be honest, i was shy at one point and someone told me that i'm letting opportunities pass by. he told me to just start talking to people even if its weird. the more i do it the easier it gets. even if they reject me or walk away. its just like a sport, you don't get better by watching people play hockey, you get better by practicing it. even if you suck at the beginning, everyone will become at least decent if not great at it. just do it.
     
  9. Everett_Spair

    Everett_Spair Member

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    Thanks nyxx.
    i know i'm letting opportunities pass by all the time, I just have this damn mental block which makes it impossible to start talking to someone who seems interesting. believe me I've tried so hard but I have never been able to even say a single word as of yet.
    I know I sound all depressing and I don't really like to talk about this but I feel I lack something others have. Like I don't understand how people can get together in real life. like the process of meeting, first words, how that progresses and so on. to me that seems very unlikely (probably because i cant do it myself)
    maybe i'm just too dumb to get it or something.
     
  10. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    Get involved in some type of volunteer work that you enjoy. You will feel more comfortable when you are around something you like, which will aid in reducing your shyness. In addition, you will meet others with the same interest, or who need help in what you are volunteering for, and that can be attractive.
     
  11. kell260

    kell260 New Member

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    I was like you in my 20's I don't know why, but I was super shy I hated highschool I was antisocial I only had 1 GF for 6 months between 18-30 then I met a girl and we married but I didn't really want to get married to her. I thought If it didn't It would be another 20 years. We divorced after 2 years I was 34 then I met my 2nd wife things are better but not perfect. We never had kids I wish I did but never met anyone in my 20's because I was too shy to go looking for anyone I got fat and lazy played video games and surfed the internet. Now I'm 42 and wife doesn't want kids. Don't let what happened to me happen to you. Now I think back I remember 2 girls that liked me but I was so shy I had no idea. You need to change get some self esteem work out get your body in shape buy nice cloths. Girls like a fit guy and find a few friends that you can go out and find girls with. Once your 20's are over things change and you can't re-open that door again. Now I look at 20 year old girls and think now I'm not shy but they don't want some 42 year old guy. I do love my wife don't get me wrong it's just when you hit 40 you think wow time is going fast.
     
    #11 kell260, Nov 4, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2011
  12. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    i just noticed your from sweden. come to canada and the accent will do all the work for you.