How do i get her to try a vibrator?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by 6thday, May 6, 2007.

  1. 6thday

    6thday New Member

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    Hi all, I'm really new to all this so please forgive me if this seems clumsy.

    I've been with my fiancee for 13 years, she's my first and only sexual partner.
    Sex is still fantastic with her, but latley for my own selfish reasons I've started to crave alittle more varitity in our love making.

    In march I was shopping alone, and I have no idea what made me go into a sex shop but I did!
    I brought a Rabbit pearl vibrator as a gift for my fiancee. As soon as I walked out of the store I knew that she'd go crazy when she found out about it. But I was brave and didn't want to hold back so I gave it to her as soon as I got home. She didnt go crazy but she wasn't very impressed telling me it was a waste of money as peices of plastic do nothing for her.

    It's been in a draw since, a few times I've got it out before we make love but she calmly tells me to put it away and refuses to use it. The last few times I tried this and she refuses, I tell her I'm gonna throw it in the trash.. but she says somthing weird, "don't throw it away that would be a waste of money". An odd statment.

    I know she hasnt used it without me there. Could she be warming to the idea? It would add alot of spice to our sex life and be a huge turn on for me too...

    Any ideas how I can get her to change her mind???
     
  2. SexyScorp

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    You cant

    It either floats her boat or it doesnt?

    If you persist, she will object more

    Sorry....maybe you give it to someone
    else....

    Send it to me if you like :)
     
  3. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    If it's never been used, I'd suggest putting it back in its package and selling it on eBay. Sorry but if she doesn't want to use it then there's little you can do to change her mind.
     
  4. Jessie

    Jessie New Member

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    Leave it where it is. It can only gather dust. And if it doesn't one day she may come around to sharing the experience with you. Pushing the issue will only turn her off it more though.
     
  5. 6thday

    6thday New Member

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    Yeah... I would never force her to do anything.....
     
  6. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    I wouldn't push it, but there must be a reason she doesn't want you to throw it away. ;)
     
  7. HouseHunny

    HouseHunny New Member

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    How do you know for sure she hasn't used it alone? I have a few friends who tell their partners they don't like using them and do when they are alone. In my opinion that is wrong just because of the lack of communication in their part. Like others have mentioned...you can't really push on something if she is dead set on not wanting to include it during sex.
     
  8. miss mary

    miss mary New Member

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    hi - so these are just my thoughts. i agree don't push it. but i have a few questions. does she masterbate when she's alone? has she ever used a vibrator? try to talk about it with her. personally, i masturbate but have never used a vibrator. i'm planning to buy my first one soon but don't want to start with a rabbit, those things look intimidating. maybe that's a factor. try talking about it with her but make sure you're not pushing her into using one, try to talk to her about it as a way to feel closer to her/learn about her sexuality. talk about it outside the bedroom too.

    well these are just my thoughts, i've never been engaged or even in a long term relationship so i don't really know, but hey you asked!!
     
  9. 6thday

    6thday New Member

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    That sounds like very good advice too me.. thankyou.:)
     
  10. Dreama

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    Although, if she's set on it, she might not change her mind, but you could always try wearing a vibrating cock ring during sex. She might reconsider if she thought that it felt good.
     
  11. dan7564

    dan7564 New Member

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    You could slip it in her while shes asleep, maybe if you make it a remote controlled vibrator you could slip it in her hoe she doesn't notice, and then turn it ohn when shes like talking to her boss or somthing.... or is that to ounealistic? (Rehtorical question)
     
  12. CFriis

    CFriis New Member

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    You've been with your fiancée since you were 13 years old?
     
  13. dan7564

    dan7564 New Member

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    No he's been with her for 13 years since they met.
     
  14. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

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    I would just leave it where it is. Sounds like she is workig up the courage.

    My wife really doesn't solo with her toys. Well we do have 4 kids and not much time to solo anything. If I was traveling away for a few days, she might get the urge :) What she really likes is when we get the toys out and I use them on her.

    Your lady sounds a bit conservative in the area. Maybe sneak your vib under a pillow, and while you are spending a long time licking her stuff, reach for the vib, and gentle vib her sensitive areas. I wouldn't got directly to sticking it in her, not all gals are crazy about foreign objects. But if you get her wet enough, you might head in that direction.

    Good luck.

    When you guys getting married ?
     
  15. dan7564

    dan7564 New Member

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    Do what dreama suggested and try a vibrating cock ring. Then after a while with that see if shell try the vibrator.
    If she still sys no then confront her about iut. let it know that it doesn't make sense for her to say that she doesn't enjoy it if shes never tried it. Id say shes had some sort of figure push it into her mind that its morally wrong or only for desperate people or somthing ushc as that. say to her that she doen't want to use it yet she won't let you throw it out cause it's a waste? I mean it's jsut wasting space anyway you got nothing to gain from keeping it other than space. So theres no logical reason that you'd want to keep it unles there was curiosity in her. Then again, wemon are qute an illogical bunch.
     
  16. 6thday

    6thday New Member

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    I would never just pull it out and start using it on her.. lol... she's go ape. But I know that once the ice has broken and she tries it she'll love it. She cums vaginaly pretty easy and enjoys it, but she told me when i lick her clit it blows her away. Im sure you ladies know what she means, vaginal and clitoral orgasums (did i spell that right?!) feel different. Thats why I thought a rabbit vibrator would be kick ass for her.
    Its all about breaking the ice I guess..

    We're getting married spring next year, we were going to go for it this summer but we decided to hold back when it a little cooler (nobody wants to look sweaty on their wedding pics).
     
  17. Barbwire

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    OK, here I go, spouting off about the Hitachi Magic Wand, YET AGAIN.....

    The Wand is sold as a full body massager, it has two speeds, and it plugs in. You can also buy attachments for it that resemble penis'. What I would do is, buy a Wand, and when you get it say, "Look at this body massager I bought. Cool, huh?" Then have your girlfriend get naked, and lie on her stomach, telling her you want to give her a massage with the Wand. Work her body from neck to calves until she is very relaxed, then use it on her butt and tell her to spread her legs so you can do her inner thighs. Then, make your move! You can "accidently" follow the groove between her butt cheeks, working your way down to her box, then to her clit. (make sure it's on low, those suckers are very powerful!)

    If she doesn't like the Wand on her clit, just pull it back and say, "oops!" Go back to doing the rest of her body. I have a feeling that after a few of these incidents, she will be slower and slower to tell you she doesn't like it. I'm not sure, mind you, but I think it's a safe bet. ;)
     
  18. 6thday

    6thday New Member

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    So do you guys think that the type of vibrator is putting her off?
     
  19. dan7564

    dan7564 New Member

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    no what cowboy lover is trying to note is that you should try convince her with little steps
     
  20. miss mary

    miss mary New Member

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    i think this is a question for her