How do I ask my husband?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by kay3, Oct 27, 2004.

  1. kay3

    kay3 New Member

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    Okay, I have never been to a chat room before or left a message, certainly not like this. But I am wondering about a real fantasy that I have. I really want to ask my husband if he would like to try anal sex. I am not sure how to bring the subject up, and I would just die of shame if he got disgusted by the idea of it. I think it would add another facet to out relationship, and I think I would really like it. I just do not know how he would feel about it. Do guys really think about doing it, and would they be turned off if their wives asked them for it? How would you ask? :eyes
     
  2. s1ng1nf00l

    s1ng1nf00l New Member

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    I don't think that most guys would turn down performing anal sex... However, the opposite of that situation seems more apt to decline. What I mean is, anal sex is good for the performer, not the performee... But, don't care much for what I say, because I am, afterall, a guy, and I believe that, for a guy at least, the anus is a one-way-street. Also, a reason not to heed my advice, is that I've never participated in an activity like this anyway... ;)
     
  3. Mossive

    Mossive New Member

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    Wish my girl came straight out and said i want anal!!!!
     
  4. Maggie_05

    Maggie_05 New Member

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    next time you two are getting ready to get busy, take a deep breath and try to relax. Just ask him in a calm manner if he'd like to try it, thats how I asked and he said he loved me and would only do things I feel comfortable with. Since then we've both been very very open to one another and arn't really ashamed about anything. When you actually do it though relax, and lube up. That is the most important thing, and take it slow. Anal isn't something you should try to jump into really quick, also dont be discouraged if you dont like it right away, try it two or three times at least then see how it goes.
     
  5. sexykitten07

    sexykitten07 New Member

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    Take control

    My bf and I have had anal sex about 5 times. I would say that if you want to do it the best way to go about it is to lay naked in the spooning position with your back to his front. Take his big juicy cock and wet it a little with some spit or lube. Stick it in between your butt cheeks and gyrate back and forth. As he gets stimulated, take his penis and insert it into your ass. Do this slowly because it will most likely hurt the first time. This technique will surprise and tantalize him, and I am sure he won't have the balls to turn you down.
     
  6. Mossive

    Mossive New Member

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    preach!!!!
     
  7. jojo_belladona

    jojo_belladona New Member

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    Just ask him. Most guys wont decline. If you just say it's something you want to try, I'm sure he'll do it. Just make sure to have lots of lube on hand.

    Another sure fire way to breach the question, is to simply start lubing up his shaft and then start rubbing the cockhead around your butthole. If you get a negative response I guess he's not interested and just move on to your pussy like it was a mistake. But I gaurantee you he'll be into it and start putting a little pressure on and will start to insert his cock in your butt.
     
  8. Mossive

    Mossive New Member

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    make sure you either take it slow or use a plug befor though otherwise you might not be so ready to try it again.....
     
  9. touchzing

    touchzing New Member

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    I think most guys would love to explore anal with their girl friend. I agree with the others that have encouraged you to take it slow. It is also good to use an anal plug first and get used to the feel. Maybe your boyfriend will insert it while he goes down on you. You might even try leaving the plug in while he has sex with you. Explore – have fun!!
     
  10. haolcatx

    haolcatx New Member

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    I, as a guy discoverd I hate anal sex. I think it just feels nasty. But maybe it will make my opinion worth more since I am a worse case senerio. As a woman you can ask a guy almost anything sexually without offending him. There are not the same boundries as woman have. I don't like it but not enjoying it and being offended by being asked about it are two different things. I am not the least bit offened by being asked about it or anything else but I would if you were to ask me say I didn't like it so much.



    I had a gf who had a thing for anal stimulation and when she asked me I tried it anyway (again) and I kept losing my erection cause I was so mentally turned off by it. So I stuck a vibrator in her anus turned it on and fucked her that way. To be honest looking at her face as she was getting off that way made me cum too fast the first time. I can still see that face today. It must really do something for them to have both holes stimulated at the same time but when I was holding her afterwards she couldn't stop shaking.
     
  11. DarkHamlet

    DarkHamlet New Member

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    I have done it, but it take time to fully achive it, lots of lube needed, anslow speed required. My girl goes wild even pushes back when i'm inside her, she has achive wild orgasm that way. we don't do it every time save it as when she feels like it, i let her decide when she wants it. ( I love it );)
     
  12. bobcat

    bobcat New Member

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    I may as well be the doom and gloom to go the opposite of everyone else, but the thought of anal does nothing for me, in fact I find anal quite repulsive. However I would not be offended if my gf asked me about it, in fact I'd feel like the jerk for just flat out turning her down.

    I think that we all harbour our dirty little fantasies, and great sex is only achived though open and honest communication, so we can gain permission to act upon our fantasies.
     
  13. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    I always advocate the straightforward approach.

    If he is your husband, you should be able to ask him anything. Just roll over in bed and say "Honey, have you ever wanted to fuck me up the ass?"
     
  14. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    my boyfriend and i talked about it a long time ago. he basically gave me a flat out no at that point. he knew i'd had less than great experiences with it in the past and didnt want to hurt or scare me. however, recently he's been noticing that i get more turned on when he plays with my butt, even more the closer he goes. so last night we got to talking about ways to make sure we're not overlooking the wants or needs of the other and i brought it up again. sometimes even after saying no, i think a guy just needs to think about it for a while and get himself accustomed to the idea, and the fact that you asked for it, he's not forcing it on you.
     
  15. gynylon28

    gynylon28 New Member

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    Hi kay3,

    I'm new here and it's nice to be among people I can relate with. I'm a happily married man and I've got a beautiful and wonderful wife. We have enjoyed anal sex for years now and if you asked her which type of sex she prefers she would say, "Anal Sex" In any relationship acceptance plays a big role in how we get along with our partners. You are a married lady so ask your husband what he thinks of the idea. Pick a special time and ask him. You'll never know why till you try. Marriage is all about team work and there is no I in team. Let him know your desire. There is a great book called, "The Surrender" written by Toni Bentley. It's about her first anal encounter and how she fell in love with anal sex. It's from a woman's point of view. Perhaps it would be a good idea to purchase this book and share it with your husband. This lady is not only torrid but very spiritual in her description. And anal sex with the right person is a very spiritual thing! It's a learned experience that if done correctly the first time can be the gateway to a new and more exciting marriage and love life. It should not be half heaven and half heartache! It can be a wonderful experience for you both. My wife has multiple deep shattering orgasms right in the area below her belly button. She says nothing and means absolutely nothing can stimulate her internally like anal sex. And as far as being in complete control I'll have to say she can make me whimper like a puppy. When her colon muscles lock around me it's like being in a whole new world! I would not think any man would want to pass that up? I sure would suggest that book and learn about dilation and lubricant. Some folks like squeaky clean and others love wet and messy. My wife is the type that wants me to take her as she is. That does not mean she's unclean! She's petite and shaven! She means that when she want's anal sex it's take me as I am right now! Grab the KY and a couple damp wash rags, lets jump in bed and do some kissing and hugging then lubricate and dilate me with three fingers and give me some passion! As for the folks that read this post please don't agree or disagree with anything I say. It's just what we do and how trying anal sex out worked for us.
     
  16. civil

    civil New Member

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    Well, your husband is a lucky man....

    I believe most men would certainly try it if they have not before. He would probably be more willing if you wait till you are already in some sort of sexual play.

    You could just ask, or trick him.

    I would die a happy man if we were getting ready for doggy, and she reached under herself as to stear me in the right direction, but slipped me some anal instead.

    If you have never attempted anal, please make sure to use plenty of lube!
     
  17. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    unless that girl has had PLENTY of experience that would hurt... in my experience guys have a tendency to be less gental during vaginal sex than anal... a rough first thrust by an unaware (ex)partner has left me walking funny and not sitting for days... and NOT in a good way
     
  18. civil

    civil New Member

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    Most certainly would be gentle! We have done it a few times, but it is a rare thing.

    From a guys standpoint, it honestly doesn't feel that much different, its all mental to me.

    If she were to guide in that direction, I would surely put the training wheels on.

    Thats a sad story you share though, hopefully you smacked him around after that!?
     
  19. LuvTaGiveBJs

    LuvTaGiveBJs New Member

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    Like Kbate said, ask him straight out. Yes, guys love screwing women's asses! My husband will do anything to get into my ass. So ask him - he will probably JUMP out of his pants!
     
  20. ReNo

    ReNo New Member

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    I don't know your husband, but if he is like most guys then he will like the idea of anal sex, at least to try. Maybe just ask him if he wants to try new stuff during sex. Judge off of his response to that question to ask him about anal sex. The worst that he could say is no, and I'm pretty sure his image of you isn't going to be changed. I say 9/10 chance that he will want to do it.