How can you make anal sex less painful and more pleasurable for a man?

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by kinkyCowGirl*, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. kinkyCowGirl*

    kinkyCowGirl* New Member

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    I really love playing around with my bfs ass..
    the other day i stuck my dildo up there and thought he really liked it, cos i did you know, and he came pretty quick..
    but then i suggested it last night and he didnt want to do it, he said it was quite sore!!
    i used alot of lube, although i was going pretty fast...

    is there anything i can do to make it less painful?
    so that he can enjoy it as much as i do?
     
  2. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    We've talked about this here quite a few times. Do a search and I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice. ;)
     
  3. kinkyCowGirl*

    kinkyCowGirl* New Member

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    haha, ya, i spose i should... theres just so much to go through!! :p

    i see your on quite often, could you maybe send me a link if you find one??
     
  4. emsemtb

    emsemtb New Member

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    First off, this is an advice forum, and you are a big girl, so I believe that you can do your own research. But in response to your question, I am a guy that loves getting his ass pounded. Just ask Slowdance. Yes, we are together, and yes, we each have our own sexual advice to offer. But back to the advice, first thing that you need is plenty of lube. We are like women, if we are not wet, it will hurt like a fire poker. Not a good day. Second, you may need to size him in. By this I mean start small then work your way up in length and girth. He will need to get used to any size that you use. In the begining, you might want to consider a vibrator as the vibrations will help the tissue of the anus become aroused and less tense. Also listen to him, and if you can, watch his facial expressions. By listening and watching, you can tell alot about what is going on in his head when using his ass. You also might want to try a "G-Spot Stimulator". They are long and thin with a fairly thick curved head. Prostate massage is wonderful, even more so with vibrations attached. Also try giving him head while doing anything with his ass, pain with pleasure makes the pain more bearable in most situations. If I think of more, I will post it.
     
  5. polarbear79

    polarbear79 New Member

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    yup, don't scrimp on the lube.. and start small.
     
  6. Tommyhot

    Tommyhot Member

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    Here is a short tutorial I typed up a while back. It's how *I* learned..

    The key to this is to take your time and go slow. You learn how to control your butt and sphincter muscles. You learn how to RELAX THEM and you get used to the feeling of it all.
    Anal play for beginners

    Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor and I do NOT play one on TV. This is the way *I* learned how to discover anal play. As usual care needs to be practiced. GO VERY SLOWLY.

    First start off with a TRIMMED index finger. You may even want to put on a latex glove first to help make it even smoother. Use KY or the drug store brand of KY and lube the finger well. Place it VERY GENTLY near the anus and lightly circle the hole with the finger. DON'T INSERT YET. Just circle it for a few minutes. After a few minutes without insert, just put the finger over the anus and gently press a bit without entering. Just apply a bit of pressure.
    Do this over and over a few times and after a few minutes SLOWLY begin to insert JUST THE FINGER *TIP* in about a quarter of an inch then take it out. Do this a few times then go a LITTLE further in. Repeat this until you have you whole finger in. DO NOT FORCE IT, IF HE OR SHE OR YOU SAYS STOP, STOP!

    Within a week or so of trying this the person should be fairly used to the finger and inserting and pumping it in and out should become easy. Also try moving the finger around while inserted, back & forth,etc. Orgasms ARE VERY VERY INTENSE when you leave your finger or butt plug or dildo in.

    Soon you will want to try something slightly bigger than your finger. Try your middle finger or graduate to a SMALL butt plug. Same rules apply to the new toy as did with the finger. Start off using the finger as usual then after getting loose begin with the plug.
    Plugs have flared bottoms to prevent them from going all the way in. If you graduate to dildos later get ones with a flared base or ones that have the balls at the bottom. This prevents them from slipping all the way in. You don't need a trip to the ER to retrieve it, that would SUCK!
    After a while you will become very used to anal play and you won't need much time to prep for your session. You'll loosen up very quickly after you learn how to relax your anal muscles. It takes me less than 5 minutes to go from start to riding a 8 inch silicon dildo like a bucking bronco!
    GITTYUP LITTLE DOGGIE!

    The key to learning anal play/sex is to TAKE YOUR TIME.
     
  7. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    Get a smaller dildo, how big was it?
     
  8. kinkyCowGirl*

    kinkyCowGirl* New Member

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    thanks man... good advice, will def be put to use ;)
     
  9. r6guy00

    r6guy00 New Member

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    Never tried anal.. Always been curious about it though. I think I would only like it in the doggy style position though while pulling hair and squeezing hips lol
     
  10. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    I completely agree with Tommyhot and would add two more pieces of advice. In his advice he suggests using a latex glove about 10% of adults, including myself, are allergic to latex. For me, if my skin comes into contact with latex, depending on the length of exposure, it varies from anything extreme itching to where my skin breaks down and begins bleeding. My point here is make sure he is not allergic to latex. Second point is from my experience anal play works the best when foreplay has been occuring for a while. If you just dive it to it you may not get the response you are wanting.