Honey, have you ever masterbated?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by mosquito, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    Okay folks, need your adivse here. I have been asked by a fellow member if when my wife masterbates does she play with her clit and I had to answer, I don't know if she has ever masterbated before, I've never asked. I'm not quite sure how to ask her as I'm kind of embarrased to ask. I don't know why I should be, I've been married to her for 12 years. Our sex life is simply okay at this point. We did at one time (about 5 years ago) actually talk about swinging and I should have asked then but didn't. We did the photos of each other and again should have asked then. Since she has mentioned to me that she is glad we never did any of the wife swapping (I'm not). I would love to (BAM) spice up our sex. I need to (BAM) spice up our sex life as I feel it is getting really boring. Maybe this is the first step, asking her about masterbation. I love to do it myself but again feel embarressed to even mention it to her. What do I do?
     
  2. ceiron

    ceiron New Member

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    have a laugh and talk about sex, and just letthe convo flow, ask her what she likes, what you like, what she wants to do, etc ...

    see where it goes
     
  3. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    I love the title of this thread!

    Just ask her, you are both adults, right? What's the worst that could happen? You get red in the face? Last I heard, that was curable. ;)
     
  4. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Plus you are 39 and married .....not sure how long you have been married to her for, but if its for a number of years , wouldnt you have known already if she does or not ?

    Just curious
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I think She said 12 years.
    Most people are shy about that subject, As aren't supposed to need to after marriage.

    Hiker
     
  6. Bluesy

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    The first step to what? Swinging or spicing up your sex life? You sound like you're very intent on getting with other women, and she's already expressed her feelings on the subject. Just trying to inject a little reality check.
     
  7. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Maybe its just me then, im an adult and have no problems talking about sex, and especialy no problem talking about that with a lover...i got past being embarrassed about sex a long time ago....but hats just me and my back ground i know for some its a red faced lost for words subject
     
  8. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    Okay, to answer this one... Yes, My wife and I have been married for 12 years now and yes, I'm very shy about this subject as well as must be my wife as she doesn't talk about it either.

     
  9. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    Well if she does I have not caught her doing it and or has she shown me it. I know we have a few toys but we used them together a few years ago when she was really frisky....

     
  10. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    Okay to answer this one... we talked about swinging a few years ago and was actually within a date with another couple of doing it. We had swapped photos and talked and like I said, was about one date away but it fell through. A few weeks had gone by and my wife said to me she is kind of glad we didn't do it. I was kind of disapointed as I was really worked up by it all and was really looking forward to it. Was I kind of glad, yea sort of I guess.

     
  11. foxyscarlett

    foxyscarlett New Member

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    A few things:

    1st: If you are too shy to ask your wife if she masturbates, then you are far from being able to handle swinging.

    2nd; try talking to her about masturbating for your knowledge; then try suggesting mutual masturbation; for spice, and to learn if she plays with her clit...

    FoxyScarlett
    Writer
    link removed
     
    #11 foxyscarlett, Jun 26, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2007
  12. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    My wife has since had a hysterectomy and since then our sex life really slowed way down. Her friskyness now only comes and goes (about once every few months and it only lasts for a day). I guess the best thing I could do is to talk to her about this (masterbation) the next time although it may ruin the mood and then I wont see the frisky side again for a few months..... damn... caught between a rock and a hard place... any advice?
     
  13. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    Now, we do mutually masterbate together meaning while she strokes me I'm stroking her. What I would like to know from her is does she masterbate to movies like I do? Do you get a really erotic thought in your head and enjoy masterbating to it? Do you see a really hot Guy and come home (by yourself, nobody else home) and masterbate to the image of you and him together?

     
    #13 mosquito, Jun 26, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2007
  14. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    Let me tell you, the hottest day I can remember was when she called me at work and told me she wanted to watch me have sex with another woman. She actually wanted to hide in the closet and watch and not let the other woman know she was there. We talked about that and that it wouldn't be fare to the other woman so then we began looking into swinging. The rest is well, history that didn't finish itself.
     
  15. goofball123

    goofball123 New Member

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    I would just bring it up anytime you think would be good to talk about it. It shouldn't be something you are uncomfortable/embarrassed about. Mind you it is easy for me to say that, im with kronnie on this one, ive never had a problem at all talking about sex with anyone, especially the person im having the sexy time with. If you don't ask you'll never know
     
  16. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    I am not meaning to sound cruel here or out of line....but if the both of you are very shy about talking on the subject of sex, how did you or her get around to asking about making love with each other ?

    It seems you must have or she must have crossed that shyness barrier, so just up and ask her about whether she enjoys soloplay...some females maybe shy talking about this sbject but i bet on their own there is no shyness......ask her perhaps if she would enjoy watching you perform for her .....that at least gets the ball rolling..
     
  17. Barbwire

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    I think you answer lies within your last statement. What do you think your wife would be doing while watching you fuck another woman while she hides in a closet? I sure as hell know what I'd be doing, MASTURBATING, no doubt about it.
     
  18. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    Good point! We are not shy with many things regarding sex but the "Masterbating" is just one of those private things that you, I guess, have to overcome and add to the relationship.... Thanks for all the advice...

     
  19. Richie38

    Richie38 New Member

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    mosquito,

    Sorry to have to break the news to you but....

    Take it from me she will be having a crafty "strum" whilst your out at work pal - the bad news is that its unlikely to be over you!, more chance it will be over some hunk or some other fantasy figure!.

    Ask yourself this was your last wank over your wife? Not likely, i know mine wasnt!

    Also, Women have a lot more imagination than us guys also more emotion involvement where as we are just visual animals - Hers in some of them (not all the time) may depict an erotic scene/ setting as part of the build up as oppose to us its just pussy/tits/Arse 100% of the time!

    Oh and without stating the obvious it will involve her touching her clit or if she has a vibrator more likely by holding the vibrator against the clit to guarantee her orgasm - although i have read/heard of some highly sexed women being able to orgasm by thinking hard about it but that could be an urban myth - sounds like to much effort to me!

    Hope that helps, but im sure a few of the girls here will enlighten you

    Richie
    P.S You may find the old vibrators you have are still in use? - if not get her a new vibrator as a gift (go for a small one for clit stimulation to show its for her benefit (not yours) thats less intrusive) i.e one she might use, rather than some of the massive plastic ones they sell that are for our visual benefit that your wife might not want at this stage
    Good luck
     
  20. mosquito

    mosquito New Member

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    thanks for the advice. I may just do that, run out and get her a cute little vibrator and tell her that I thought she might like it and see where it goes. By the way, if she does masturbate to the image or thought of another man, it wouldn't bother me a bit as I do it all the time to the thought of another woman.