Helping my GF Touch herself

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Indulgence, Apr 24, 2007.

  1. Indulgence

    Indulgence New Member

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    Well, my girlfriend doesn't feel comfortable touching herself due to the fact that her ex and her best friend use to fuck around with her on seperate occasions and she never went anything passed a peck on the lips with either of them. Everything was completely forced, one of them use to shove her hands in her pants and tell her to touch herself if she wouldn't touch him and even at one point shoved his finger inside of her without her consent. At that time I wasn't with her and I beat the shit out of him and went to jail for six months, nice huh?

    I am completely fine with going at her pace, but she can't get anywhere near herself unless shes guiding me to what she likes (i.e. making me finger her where she will grip my hand and guide my hand to what she wants) and if that little discription above isn't allowed please remove it and keep this part it is only to let you guys know where i'm coming from.
    Don't get me wrong ladys, I love my girlfriend to death and will never force anything on her and I never have.

    So, help me to break her out of her cocoon.
     
  2. RubyRed

    RubyRed New Member

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    I applaud your understanding, she's obviously been damaged by bad experiences. Which means you're going to have to be very, very patient with her. It's probably going to take her a long time to build up trust and self-confidence. She needs both if she's going to feel comfortable touching herself with you.

    The best thing you can do right now is NOT pressure her to do anything at all. I think it's good that she's not afraid to show you what she likes, that's a good start. Just let her continue playing within her comfort zone. Hopefully over time she will gain more trust in you and learn to relax during sex.

    Good luck!
     
  3. Indulgence

    Indulgence New Member

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    During sex, she is fine we have done everything imagineable (except anal),

    I am not sure, but today she used my hand as a toy I guess that is a step forward.
     
  4. LA_20

    LA_20 New Member

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    Encourage every little step forward. If she associates touching herself with bad feelings then it will take a long time before she can look at masturbation as a type of self love. If its okay maybe when she reaches the point where she feels comfortable enough to try touching herself on her own yall could masturbate together, sometimes seeing someone else enjoying their body can help give you the strength to explore your own. She's a very lucky girl to have a guy who wants to work with her to overcome this issue and it saddens me that she had to deal with such disgusting pigs before she found someone who cared. good luck, keep us updated.
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Amazing
    Yesterday she would't even touch herself.
    Today She used your hand for a toy.
    Bullshit

    Hiker
     
  6. hannan rose

    hannan rose New Member

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    have you two talked to a doc or someoen about his you may have to sex is not all body you know its a lot to do in the mind as well. Whats going on in your mind can affect a lot with sex. And aslo have you asked her if she played with her slef as a teen / when she was younger? Some girls dont start till they are teens about 16 or 18 where guys start aabout 13 or 14. Aslo it may have to do what she grew up knowing about sex. I knose some mom and dads are funny where they tell you its not good and not for you that stays with you. Some like mine where very open about it and more or less told me to try it and see what i like and gave me sex toys and such if i asked for till i truned 18 my mom gave me one for my 16th b-day.
     
  7. Indulgence

    Indulgence New Member

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    You know, you're pretty fucking ignorant for that if you can't trust a topic don't fucking respond beacuse that pisses me off, Hiker.

    And it wasn't a full on masturbation session, it was like a few seconds and I had to do alot of the work beacuse she asked me to.
    You don't know her, so don't base this off what you think you know, if you don't like what I said I suggest not posting here again beacuse you angered me, that was completely disrespectful Hiker.
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    xxxxxxx
     
  9. tr0n

    tr0n New Member

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    I've gone from not having sex for a year and a half to having reasonably good sex in one night, just on a fluke. Don't say it can't happen- you yourself (Hiker) admit that women are the most complicated things in the world and men can't even approach understanding them fully!

    Indulgence: my wife doesn't like to pleasure herself either. She used to, a little bit, while I watched as sort of a turn-on tool to me..but I dont' think she actually derived pleasure from it. I wish she did..I'd watch that as often as I could! As far as encouraging her to do it, I don't know what to do..maybe guide her hand down there as you're giving her oral, slowly..and see how she reacts? So long as the action isn't rapid and forced, she might just go along with it. Plus then she'll be turned on, and women do alot more things when they are horny than when you just are discussing something over breakfast.
     
  10. NaughtyKnickers

    Gold Member

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    Given that reason, it is a little hard to believe your girl did a full 180 in a matter of a day. :shrug
    If she used your hand as a toy that's fantastic, but women don't overcome past issues with being sexually forced, overnight, to me that's the reason it seems a little hard to believe she overcame it all in a matter of a day. Progress is always good, though, so take it for what it is and keep being patient. You're doing well in being understanding with her. :tup
     
  11. Indulgence

    Indulgence New Member

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    Well I neglected to mention her ex was four years ago, Sorry for that. And, through these past couple days we have talked through the subject a matter of times and both agree on something. She tells me that, if I am around it's easier for her to try and touch herself, and that if I am touching her she will usually grab my wrist and push me into her. But I wont push her any farther than this, I kind of don't want her to go any farther right now our sex lives are simply outrageously fantastic. But I do love her, and I love the fact she gave it a shot.
    Now, it's my turn to do some masturbation for her... I'm scared of this one.
     
  12. hotstuff6900

    hotstuff6900 New Member

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    Masterbating has so many different purposes. I masterbate at night to think about sexual things. If it is a bad day I just relax and an orgasm makes it better. She needs to know what it is for and how good it feels.