Helping her climax

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by justbe327, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. justbe327

    justbe327 New Member

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    hey, a quick question for all you more experienced folks out there.

    my girlfriend has never climaxed, and that bothers me. I feel like that isn't fare to her after she's so wonderful with me. she's never masturbated (never felt like it, she says) and every time I think I'm getting somewhere for her with my fingers, tongue, or during sex, she has me stop because she says she can't take it anymore.

    does anyone know why this might be, or how I can remedy this? Because I care about her and I want her to feel as good as she makes me feel.

    thanks all


    oh, and sorry if I'm iffy on responding, but I work extremely long hours right now and it's hard for me to get on this site.
     
  2. gigantor56

    gigantor56 New Member

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    I would say that you may be getting a little too aggressive with trying to get her to climax.

    Try to take things as slow and gentle as possible. If she still gets to the point where she can't take anymore, then stop what you are doing. Just cuddle with her for a while. Softly caress and tickle her body. Slowly let her recover, while keeping her aroused. Then when she is ready, try again. This time go even softer and more gently. The most important thing is to explore her body, and find out what turns her on.

    If that doesn't work, buy her a vibrator. Then play with her nipples while she gets herself off.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I can only think of one reason that She can't take
    it anymore. That would be because She did have an orgasm and
    didn't know it. A Woman becomes extremely senesitive when She has an
    orgasm and really can't take it for a moment.

    Hiker
     
    #3 bighiker2003, Jul 21, 2007
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2007
  4. Barbwire

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    I don't think there is any way she could have come and not know it, but what do I know, I've only been coming for 35 years? :lol

    I think she's just getting too sensitive, like gigantor said, you might want to ease up a bit and be more gentle with her. I like his idea of getting her a vibrator so she can get herself off, but I think she first needs to learn to use her own fingers to pleasure herself. That way, she can learn what feels good and what doesn't, then show you exactly what she needs to get off.
     
  5. NaughtyKnickers

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    CL has it all right here. Every woman's body is complex and different in their own way. The best thing your lady could do for BOTH of you, is learn what makes her climax and how. That's just excellent advice. :tup
     
  6. gigantor56

    gigantor56 New Member

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    I agree with CL. Using her fingers first, would be better than going right to the vibrator. Guess it would be like learning to drive in a brand new Ferrari. Probably a little too much power for the first time user.
     
  7. NaughtyKnickers

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    Yeah :lol and, honestly I think vibrators incite a little laziness. :ugh You can just lay there and have orgasm after orgasm, NOT a realistic scenario, and not one you learn from.

    I've gotten orgasm complacent before, just enjoying the magic bunny :D and had to tell myself, "Now, back AWAY from the vibrator!". :lol
    It helped my sex life a great deal when I did that. I think one has to be careful not to let a vibrator become a 'crutch'. :ugh
    Also, cbrmale has previously commented that he believes vibrators desensitize the clitoris, and unfortunately, I have to agree, of my own experience. :nerv

    A little vibrator may be alright now and then, but fingers seem the safest and most beneficial route in the long run, especially for a woman who's just learning how to navigate her body.
     
  8. Bluesy

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    I agree with the girls that before you can discover what tickles her kitty, she's got to find out for herself. Once she's learned how to make herself come, I think things will go much more smoothly for the two of you.

    That generally only happens with overuse (though I suppose what constitutes "overuse" can vary from woman to woman), and if you lay off the vibe for several days full sensitivity returns. It's a temporary effect. Nothing scary :) And thank goodness for that because fingers just don't do it for me anymore; it's got to be a vibe, running water (via showerhead massager) or a tongue!
     
  9. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    At this early age, I know that I had problems too. Sure, it seems silly to those of us who can achieve multiple mind blowing orgasms now. There was a time when I could not let myself get there. I could get to "wow that feels good". Sometimes I even reached "Holy fuck, that feels GREAT!" But I didn't reach speechless amazement for a long time. Learning to "let go" and allow oneself to reach that plane is difficult for some, and frightening as hell for others. Keep loving her. Relax. Learn with her. If she's telling you that she cannot take anymore, chances are you are making her feel more than loved and pleasured. It may not yet be the MOST she can feel pleasured, yet. It's my belief that none of us ever reaches the MOST we can feel pleasured. It grows and grows.
     
  10. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Justbe, you are on the right track. Mix things up with your tongue because too much in one area isn't good. Change location, pressure and speed...variety is the key. After a while insert 2 fingers and point them upwards toward her belly. Moderate pressure in little circles or the come here motion while you are eating her. On her end she just needs to really relax and trust you and let it happen. Learning to fully let go takes some practice. Sometimes reaching the goal you need to not concentrate on the goal so much and it will happen. She will get extra sensitive about after she cums so expect that.