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Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by RustyShackelfor, Mar 2, 2007.

  1. RustyShackelfor

    RustyShackelfor New Member

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    Ok im not gonna write everything down because it will take to long so just ask me questions and i will answer them.


    So me and my gf broke up on wensday night after a huge arguement. I asked her if she had a sex drive at all, she laughs, that pissed me off and it escalated from there. We have had sex once in the past two months.......:ugh She says she doesnt think sex is a large part of a relationship and i should just deal with it.:uhh:


    So the next day she calls and ask if i can pick her up after her classes and we can go to lunch cuz her friend she carpools with was sick and went home. So i pick her up, i cant even really look at her in the eye because it still makes me sad and i still love her. So i pick her up we go to lunch i pay because i know money is tight for her and we talk. She says she doesnt see us as broken up but on break. She says theres thing we both need to work on before we can get back together. She says she still loves me and wants to be with me, and that she will refuse to see anyone else during our break.

    So what should i do. I want her back, but at the same time its like why should we go back out since its probably just gonna end anyways. We are both young, im 20 shes 18. We have a shit load of things in common, live two blocks away from each other, but what do you all think? Is it worth it to keep this relationship going. Mind you it would be our 7 month anniversary on march 7th.
     
  2. RustyShackelfor

    RustyShackelfor New Member

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    I also want to add that we do talk alot. we still text each other frequently. Infact i made a joke saying your text bill will go down now and she said no it wont, and i said how come, basically using a sly way of finding out if she still wanted to talk, and she said cuz i will still text you.
     
  3. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    Some girls that age (not all) have a lot on their plate growing up as you would say. Just from your post it sounds like she really does love you, just sex is not an important part of your relationship right now, that is for her. I would still consider her a gf and want to stay together, seven months is a good thing. Don't let one fight tear you apart. Tell her you love her and treat her with kid gloves. Give her time and be a good bf. She needs to see you are there for her in the good times and bad. There could be reasons like stress, friend problems, parents, school, what am I going to be when I grow up? It's only my opinion, but I say stay the long run, be by her side, and have some patience, she will grow to love you even more. Good luck to you. Keep us informed.
    Late
     
  4. maryf48

    maryf48 New Member

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    I know you love her but honestly hon, at 20 years old you should be out having fun and playing the field for a few years at least. Sew those wild oats hon.

    I think that even after the break, when you get back together, things will be fine for a while and then the whole sex issue will tear you apart again.

    I know you think she is the love of your life, but most, not all, people your age think that this is true love rah rah rah, but in actual fact it's not. One day, you will wake up and realise that it's time to move on.

    Good luck and I hope you fulfill all your lifes dreams :)
     
  5. Logger

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    Dear Rusty,

    There should be a way to request sex with her, without arguing about it.

    There is a Crazy Cycle and an Energizing Cycle. Loveandrespect. com If you are criticizing her for not having sex, you are on the Crazy Cycle. If you are telling how much she means to you and you want to share your full love with her, then you are on the energizing cycle.

    Women ordinarily need to be aroused, to bring out their desires for sexual enjoyment. Where do you make out with her? What are her limits for kissing and cuddling? What are your foreplay techniques, within those limits? What do you know about Accupressure Points for Lovers? There are many parts of the woman's body that can be massaged for arousal. How are your massage skills?

    Many young men expect a slam bang. What are your options for birth control? What are your options for safe sex? What are your prospects for having more money, and a place of your own? What are your propects for future employment/income, compared with her expectations? Her parents and friends expectations?

    What do you want in a woman now, and in the future? My wife likes sex, but I suspect she is not as faithful to me, as I might like. Having a woman for a partner that is not that interested in sex, at least might give you a better chance that at least she is not screwing your friends and neighbors behind your back. If you get involved with a vivacious young lady, who cheats on you, you may well wish you had tried to work things out with this lady.

    .
     
  6. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    Well said Logger, I like that reply.
     
  7. Joe

    Joe
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    In the overall scheme of things, 7 months is a pretty short time. I'd take your "break" time to meet other women, do a little dating, and then take another look at your (former) gf. You might decide you like others as much or more than her.

    Incidentally, you've broken up, so there's no reason not to see others. "she will refuse to see anyone else during our break" That's crazy. See others! She should too.
     
  8. kinkyk8

    kinkyk8 New Member

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    The break time is an ideal time for you both to work through whats happening in your relationship. You have to work at a relationship they always have there ups & down's but i do agree with your gf that she dosent need to see others when you are on a break - she & you need to get things sorted in your own lives - don't bring someone else in to it it will just make the situation worse.
     
  9. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    Thank you kinkyk8! I am glad we seem to be on the same page.
     
  10. loveit247

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    mmm, toughee. You need to decide what is best for you. If you feel the need to be with her, tell her that. I do think you are very young to be stuck in a sexless relationship. There is plenty of time for that later on when you have kids and a mortgage. Trust me, pressures of adult life combined with little or no sex with your future wife will have you yearning for your younger carefree days. Use this time for you and enjoy it.
     
  11. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

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    Relationships are hard work. But I will say, for a true break, you need to become unavailable. I know the tendency to leap everytime she calls, because you think this might be the time that she realizes she is "in love" with you and you need to get right over there to "seal the deal". But in reality she just needs a ride, or a meal, or "_______".

    Giving her space includes giving her quiet time to think about it. Disappear for a couple of weeks. Commit yourself to some activity so you are not available to provide meals-on-wheels-taxi service.

    I tell you this because I want you to benifit from our own experience. Therefore the pains and heartbreaks of my long past are not in vain.

    Good luck.
     
  12. kora

    kora New Member

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    Sh says she thinks sex is not the main part of the relationship..May be the climax of her sexual desire is far away..some girls get ready for it even in 19. It can get better. But let's face it, if you continue having sex once in 2 month.. you will not be able to make it.
     
  13. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Reading your posting I seriously question if you are at least 18 but since I have no other proof other than your statement of age I will answer it the best that I can. To begin with both of you are young and still understanding your needs. It is great that you have been together for a while and living only a few blocks from each other really does not matter. What does matter is how compatible the two of you are. From the sounds of it both of you have very different perspectives and that is fine. However for it to work the two of you need to be able to agree and work things out. Based on your posting it does sound like there is a big gap that needs to be resolved. In all honesty given your age and maturity I would say it is best to let the relationship end. It maybe difficult but I do believe you will find someone who is more compatible for you.