Help

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Jacee, Jun 18, 2010.

  1. Jacee

    Jacee New Member

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    I have always been attracted to girls from since i could remember but did not act on that thought until i turned 17. I met this guy who i immediately got into a sexual relationship with but we never became boyfriend or girlfriend, out of all the guys i messed with he was the only one who i clicked with sexually and mentally i mean sex with dude is insane i did not bother to look elsewhere but i was young and i also wanted someone more of my age who i could hang with all the time you know things that young teenagers look forward to doing cause he was 25 at the time and had a daughter and other issues to deal with. I kind of moved on to other guys but would always make time to see him when he was available. Now im 20 years old and i met this girl who now is my fiancee we live together basically what is hers is mines and what is mines is hers we have been together almost two years now and our relationship is kind of down hill because i have been cheating on her with this guy. this did not happen until 6 months into the relationship everything was fine before and then i jsut felt myself craving his touch his lips hiss kisses and everything else. Things have gotten so bad with me that all i can do is think about him even when having sex with my girl i fantasize about him. I need to know should i tell him how i truly feel about him or is something wrong with me i need help? i think iam obsessesed with him and i need to stop and get my mind right.
     
  2. Mittimer

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    I too like girls. I'm currently with my fiancee ( a man) who I love more then life itself. Yes, I still wish sometimes to have the touch of a woman, to feel their lips again, to taste and smell them like I used too. Sometimes the cravings get so much that I would want to go out and just ravage the first girl I see.

    But, there is always something holding me back...

    My fiancee, the love of my life.

    I couldn't ever hurt them. If I ever once HONESTLY thought about going out and doing something behind their backs, or worse, DOING something behind their back...He would get my ring back, and I would end it. You can't love someone, be with them, call them your fiancee (Which you do in your above post) and cheat on them for over a year.

    You clearly state in the above post that You've been with her for 2 years, but the cheating started six months into it with another guy.

    Have you told the guy about her?
    Have you in any way told HER about him?


    You ask above if you should tell him how you truly feel?

    I think you should both tell them the truth. You'll never have a healthy relationship without being outright and honest with your significant other.

    If you can't start out with that one simple step, then you shouldn't be with either of them.
     
  3. Barbwire

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    Excellent post, Mitt. I couldn't agree more.
     
  4. Jacee20

    Jacee20 New Member

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    They both know about one another and I always express my self to her more than him honestly our relationship began hitting rock bottom when the physical and mental abuse began. I did leave like packed all my stuff and left her but I came back because it didn't feel right. I honestly know that I am going to end up spending my life with a guy but there is something here that I just cannot let go of.Band thank you for your comment really appreciate it
     
  5. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    You make it sound like it's an either/or situation. Can't you tell them both about what's happening, and ask if they would be ok with you having them both as partners?

    I think a lot of problems in the world are caused by too much either/or thinking. I tend to believe in more and/and.

    'Either you have the whipped cream on your icecream or the coloured sprinkles.'

    Why not have both? :) Or am I being too idealistic?
     
  6. HardRocker

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    Jacee and Jacee20, you have two member names. Since we only permit one, if you will choose which one to keep, I will remove the other one.
    Thanks,
    HR
     
  7. Squeak

    Squeak New Member

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    Bingo! My advice is the same.

    You never know until you ask, honey. :) There was a time when I was nervous about bringing up the subject of having a girlfriend to my boyfriend, got myself worked up into a frenzy over it, got the nerve to bring it up and I got a "Sure, I don't care". :p
     
  8. Trond

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    Just one question (which may help you figure out things): you say that you have always been attracted to girls for as long as you can remember. Is this true for guys as well (i.e. have you always been attracted to guys)? I am asking because it could be that you want to be with a guy because of social expectations (it's the 'norm' after all), while you are with a girl because of sexual/romantic attraction. If you are truly bisexual, then this probably won't help, but it could be worth thinking about.
     
  9. HorneyHarleyChic

    HorneyHarleyChic New Member

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    I have been attracted to both guys and girls as long as I could remember!
     
  10. Trond

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    Seems to me that you are a true bisexual then (but I'm no expert). According to a study I read about, your kind is exceedingly rare among men, but a bit more common among women. Of course, studies are often wrong (I think it was based on subjects viewing erotic pictures of various kinds). Sorry if I'm not being very helpful here...

    Anyways: I hope you figure things out soon, Jacee.
     
  11. luvbug

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    Do you have feeling for the guy.....other than wanting to have sex with him?
    Does he have feelings for you?

    If they both want you to themselves....then you have a decision to make. *just my .02*