Help...Need a women's & Man's view please?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by sgman, Oct 19, 2007.

  1. sgman

    sgman New Member

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    Hello everyone...

    This is my firsat post here... I am often not able to cum from intercourse alone. I have no problems while jerking off or if my wife uses her hands however. . Anyway, I found that fantasying about giving my wife head right after I cum inside her and tasting my own cum helps me to orgasm during intercourse. I guess I get turned on by moderate female domination thoughts.

    The thought of her pushing my head down to lick her after I cum pushes my right to climax. Here's the predictable part of my post.... As soon as I cum inside her, I completely loose interest in doing it. What was a huge turn on while having intercourse, actually becomes "kind of gross" to me right after I cum. By the way... I know I should just talk to my wife about it but she is way to uncomfortable to talk about that stuff. She can get pretty wild and open during the act, but otherwise she not open to talking about stuff like that :-(

    Here's where I could use some thoughts....

    I am specifically posting in the general area and not in the fetish/fantasies forum because I am specifically looking for thoughts from woman (and some men) that are not generally interested in fetish/fantasies. Thanks again!


    1. Ladies.... Would having your boyfriend or husband give you head right after he cums inside you turn you on or off? Keep in mind, I'm talking about him licking you out with his own cum inside you, not just the act of generally receiving head?

    2. Ladies... Would you also find it a turn on or off if your boyfriend or husband came on your body (chest, neck, face, etc...) and then licked it off ?


    2. Men... Anyone else had these thoughts or experiences?

    Thanks so much!
     
  2. igor

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    There's nothing that freaky or unusual about your fantasy. And nothing unusual about you losing interest after your orgasm. A lot of guys lose all interest in anything sexual after an orgasm. To answer your other question, I'd go down on her at any time.
     
  3. Maveri9720

    Maveri9720 New Member

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    I totally agree with Igor. There's quite a few fantasies I have that as soon as I cum, they aren't as glamorous anymore. I think that's quite natural. Thinking of the same stuff all the time gets old and boring. But thinking about them to get off and actually doing them are two different things.
     
  4. Bluesy

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    Oh, Sgman, you've hit on one of my favorite fantasies ;)

    Another favorite fantasy...a partner pulling out while in the missionary position and cumming on my belly and chest, then slowly lapping it up while gazing intensely into my eyes. *shivers*

    Go on and break the ice, every couple needs to learn how to communicate about sex openly and respectfully if they're to enjoy a healthy sex life...and you never know...your wife may be fantasizing about some of the same things :) Wouldn't it be awesome to realize a fantasy that both of you share?
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    You took the words right out of my 'lap-top' mouth. :)

    In my opinion, "fantasy" and "fetish" are two VERY different topics -
    Fantasy: An erotic, sensually stimulating scenario that plays out in your head, from which you receive increased sexual build-up.
    Fetish: An erotic, sensually stimulating scenario that you need to experience in order to recieve sexual satisfaction.

    One starts and ends in your head. And it's enjoyable.
    The other may begin in your head, but needs to play out in reality to be truly enjoyable.
    Some fantasies develop into fetishes, but certainly not always.
     
  6. Joe

    Joe
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    sgman,
    I've had the same thoughts with the same end results -- that is, when I'm turned on I like the idea. Actually, I don't have to be "turned on" much at all to like the idea, but immediately after ejaculation, I lose all interest. If my wife asked me to, I would, but it would be *completely* for her.

    After a half hour or hour I can be ready again (it takes me awhile since I'm an old fart), and that's the time for the taste test. Unlike some women, my wife doesn't rush off to clean up after sex, so if I go down on her for round two, if she hasn't gone to the bathroom yet, I get a taste of cum then. At that point it's a turn on.
     
  7. sgman

    sgman New Member

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    Thanks for all your thoughts everyone. A special thanks to Bluesy for the validation ;-)
    I've got to serve my own desires but it nice to know your on the same page as someone once in while :)

    .. Just to be clear though, I'm not saying I have any desire to taste my own cum, even when the idea still seams hot to me. What turns me on about it really more then anything else are two basic concepts.

    1. The idea that it would really turn her on. That itself does everything for me.

    2. The whole power and desire thing. Just the thought that it would turn her on so much and her wanting it so baldly, that she basically forces my head down there. I think would be the greatest turn on for me I could ever imagine.

    Any thoughts on that?
    I know I'm not the only guy who feels this way but I wouldn't care if I was. I am however, very curious about to how many women would find that a turn on also.

    I wish my wife and I could talk about it but it's just not easy for her. She can be open to new things but slowly and not if she has to talk about it :-(
    It would be tremendously helpful if I had a porn vid of that screen. My wife and I watch porn sometimes and it's a major help in her letting me know what turns her on because she can be a bit uncomfortable just saying so. When we watch a porn scene together and she loves what's going on...she just gives me this look :) I know what she wants. She has for example never said anything to me about her being turned on by another woman but after some high end MFF porn...guess what. Now it's something we may actually be moving closer too in reality. At least some light fooling around and seeing how that feels.

    Anyway...I downloaded this porn clip but it was way to extreme for us both.... It's this one really hot girl who stands up right after a guy cums in her and she quickly, and in a assertive and domineering voice "orders" this other guy to lick her clean, which he does.

    Now... This clip was kind of hot but I'm not into a 3rd person or anything like that. I could never show that one to my wife. For one thing the 3rd person and cum from a separate person would turn her us both off. Also, for her to enjoy the porn and get turned on, the players need to look clean, modern and attractive. This clip was the opposite and would not help me at all. In fact, it would make it worse! If anyone knows of a clip please let me know. Thanks!!!
     
  8. neverenough

    neverenough New Member

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    It's natural for men to suffer a major drop in arousal right after orgasm (for some, almost total; for others, not so much). Naturally, for a man not totally comfortable tasting his semen this isn't a really great time to try it, but it's really the only time unless you like it cold. :)

    The good thing is once you've done it a few times the "ick" factor tends to go away, and so in the future you'll be able to enjoy it some, even if you aren't particularly turned on at the time.
     
  9. neverenough

    neverenough New Member

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    They make a whole series of movies of this variety called "Cream Pie For The Straight Guy".
     
    #9 neverenough, Oct 22, 2007
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2007
  10. Bluesy

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    That sounds like a good way to gauge what a reticent partner's interests are, watch porn together and wait for "the look" :brow I feel that it's necessary to point out that fantasy and reality are two entirely different things, and people are sometimes aroused by certain fantasies they wouldn't be interested in enacting in real life. Your wife may enjoy watching MFF porn, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's ever going to want to participate in a threesome. Just saying...be careful not to develop expectations based on her responses.
     
  11. sgman

    sgman New Member

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    Hey Bluesy...Always nice when you chime in.

    I completely agree with you about everything. In fact, I would not have even mentioned it accept that I have had many other signals from her but did not mention them. Consider this...She knows that I need to entertain clients at upscale strip clubs from time to time. It's just the nature of the business I'm in (poor me). Neither of us is the jealous type and she's totally okay with it. She has been very inquisitive recently about what it's like to get a "really good" lap dance. She wanted to know about how much and in what way the dancers touch you and how much you can touch the dancers. For female dancers with female clients in particular.

    I explained that it varies depending on the type of club, private room and the chemistry between the dancer and the customer. I also said that generally speaking, dancers often get a bit more "touchy" with girls then with guys. This news appeared to be pleasantly amusing to her. Next thing I know, she's telling me she curious and wants' to go to a club and try it...Again...she had this devilish look in her eye :)

    I'm not surprised that she feels okay letting me know because it can be discussed all under the category of "silly fun" and it's much less intimate then discussing sex with me directly. Hell....at least were making progress.

    Additionally, we do seem to be graviton to the more female dominant "style" when having sex recently so I think she's just a little less scared about being judged now and at least a little more comfortable exploring things and having fun. To that point, "neverenough" mentioned a series of movies that sounds like what I was looking for called "Cremepie For The Straight Guy". I'm going to check it out. (Thanks "Neverenough")

    Please keep in mind that I have a tendency not to write about things that I (but no other readers) take for granted. More specifically, it occurred to me that I may come of as a person who's primary concern is pushing a person to place they may not want to go or at least a place they did not asked to be pushed, for my on selfish reasons. No one here knows me so I can assure you this is about her much more then me. Obviously, it a MAJOR turn on for me and I do not attempt to hide that but keep this in mind. 95% of the pleasure I would receive is taken solely from the fact that she would be pleased. It's really about her. Her fulfillment is a primary goal. It's natural for me to feel this way. We've been together a long time and know she relies on me to help her achieve things she's simply to timid to initially deal with herself. She has told me that directly many times. I love her dearly and have that in the forefront of my mind always. I know she feels she wasted way so much time when she was in her teens and twenties letting her hang-ups control her and dictate her actions. Assuming she's not doing anything immoral, I want to help her enjoy herself while she's still young be being true to herself. Who the hell wants' to be 85 years old and have to wonder why we made such a big stupid deal about "this thing or that thing". Know what I mean?...Sure you do ;-)
     
  12. evman

    evman New Member

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  13. sgman

    sgman New Member

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    Hello evman and thanks for your thoughts.

    Obviously, I don't have a gun to my head but it's really not my "choice" as you put it. I'm not talking about wooing new clients as you were suggesting. I'm talking about some existing high-end clients that I need to take out and entertain. There's no selling involved. We're way past the point of selling and onto making and maintaining a personal bond. When they call me up and "ask" to go to Scores, we're going to Scores if you know what I mean. True I do not object but it's really not my call...I can however choose to play the game or not...that's true.

    Anyway...on to more pressing matters. I am well aware that your wife not getting turned on by that act is not exactly a scientific sampling of all women but I have to admit... I am hoping it is for my wife so I would have been smiling if you said it's good for your wife also.

    I am curious however. Was licking the cum from her tits a turn on for her or did that do nothing as well?

    I also agree with you on the domination issue. It's not so much being dominated that appeals to me as much as it is my wife just being so turned on that she simply thinks about herself only and demands what she wants and needs with little regard for me, (for the moment anyway).
     
  14. Bluesy

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    Ahhhhhh, very interesting ;) However, if you ask me, her behavior is saying, "Gee, maybe I'd like to get a lap dance sometime", and that's it. It still doesn't mean she's going to be up for a FMF. Lap dance...threesome...two very different things.

    Well, I know why I make a big deal over stuff like this, and my rationale is 100% valid, though you may not agree. Let's put it this way, we all have our limits and it's nobody's business but a person him/herself to decide where those boundary lines should be drawn. It sounds to me like you're trying very hard to rationalize a selfish desire to push her beyond her boundaries. That's the epitome of disrespect in a relationship; it's calculating, manipulative behavior. Now, hey, maybe I'm wrong, but I think you need to be more honest with yourself about your motivations.
     
  15. sgman

    sgman New Member

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    Hi Bluesy,

    Thanks again for your input. I think it's great that you've put so much thought into my situation and I'm not being sarcastic about that.

    I seriously can not imagine anyone more introspective then myself with the possible exception of Woody Allen. (Makes great films, but a totally selfish asshole if I ever met one). It's my nature to probe my own thoughts for their true origins so I can assure you, with 100% certainty, that you are not at all correct about me, my actions or my motivations. My wife and I are around 40 and we've been together since we were 19. It's simply not possible to convey so much intimate knowledge of ourselves and our psychosis in just a few forum posts. If you really knew us both deeply, our history, and our roles in our relationship, and how we protect each other, you would be truly embarrassed by your assessment of me, my actions and my motivations.

    I am well aware however that everyone here must rely on MY OWN posts alone, when forming an opinion. I understand I asked for your thoughts and provided a very limited and targeted set of thoughts so I don't blame you or resent your misjudgments either. Your could have just ignored my post or simply tried to kiss my ass to tell me what you think I wanted to hear and that where's the value in that, so again...thanks.

    I don't feel comfortable getting into the details of my wife's childhood but I can tell you it was not pleasant and she learned to seek what she wants and convey ideas she fears may come with unpleasant consequences in the most indirect methods possible. This always put's the people she is closest to in the frustrating and often risky position of reading between the lines and now and then, making terrible mistakes. Although, this is counter to they way I naturally am, as well al the way I would prefer we communicate, it's a self protection method she learned she needed to employ when she was a very little girl. She knows she's all grown up now and in a safe place but it's hard to move away from such learned behaviors. Even with years of therapy, it's very hard. We love each other dearly....so we deal with it. That's what I'm trying to do and why I'm trying to seek advice here regarding this situation.

    I'm not trying to appear to be a saint nor am I saying there's no sexual gratification for me at all either. It is however, ten million miles away from what's motivating me and suggesting I am pushing her someplace she does not want to be for my own selfish reasons is flat out laughable (again...I know you do not really know me). I wish you could be inside my head and be privy to my feelings for just a minute or two. My strongest and most prevalent fantasy involving my wife for example has nothing to do with sex at all. It would be for her to be able to simply cast off the heavy baggage that she has from her childhood. Baggage that has consistently brought her sadness, regret, self doubt, and has generally made her question and often undermine her general creativity and makes her believe she's often unworthy of receiving love without trying to sabotage it every now and then. If what I am trying convey to you about me were untrue, I would have been divorced a long time ago. In short, I love my wife and I'm not a prick.

    More to the original point and your thoughts on them. I am not suggesting my wife is bi. I am not suggesting we should get involved in a mff or a fmm, or a "relationship" of any kind. In fact, I would never allow us to get involved in a "relationship" with any 3rd person. I value our marriage and the stability of our household to much top put that at risk.

    What I know for sure (sorry to get all Oprah on you) is that she does rely on me to both read between the lines and help her stop living in fear of so many things so that she can stop looking back and feel she cheated herself out of an honest relationship with herself.

    As far as a mff encounter.... Based on your last post, you may find this hard to believe but I would be JUST as happy in having her experience a ff thing without me as I would a mff thing with me, if I were able to know that's what she wanted. I know a mmf or a mf thing would be very difficult for me for sure so I'm VERY glad that's not what she's ever indicated to me) Again, I'm talking about a silly, light hearted fooling around session when were out of town on a trip or something that would be without the dangers of entanglement. This may sound frivolous but she's always expressing how annoyed she is that she was never allowed to have fun nor did she allow herself. Always afraid of the repercussions. By fun, she does not mean things only involving sex. Just generally cutting loose now and then.

    Actually, all this "encounter" crap has little to do with my original post. I was seeking some thoughts on a specific sexual act that would be very intimate and between only the two of us. It's about trying something that I thought may turn us both on and help her feel it would be okay to her guard down and be less self-judgmental and less worried about what she thinks others think is normal and okay. I also thought it may be bring her a sense of empowerment and that would be something she would benefit from outside of her life with me.

    In closing, all I can say is that if you truly knew us both, you would know we truly have each others best interest in mind. We do a good job of taking care of each other. That's what this is really about at its deepest level.

    SGMAN
     
  16. evman

    evman New Member

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    Licking it off her tits was not a turn on for her much to my dissapointment. I wanted to do it to turn her on. I still like do eat her after I cum in her. She enjoys cumming that way, cum inside her or not.

    It sounds like we share some of the same desires in regards to our wives. I love when she lays me down and sits on my cock but won't let me see her tits. (She is small breasted and her tits are a big turn on for me) I have to beg her to let me see them and she will show them to me briefly before covering them back up. She drives me crazy that way.

    Good luck and I hope that things end up working out. Keep us posted.
     
  17. sgman

    sgman New Member

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    Tasting my own cum from her pussy. I finally did it...

    Tasting my own cum update!

    Okay everyone, I finally did it and thought I would provide an update on the experience since so many people chimed in.

    The other night, I was going down on my wife as I always enjoy doing. Normally, I would do that for a good 1/2 an hour or more until she had a body-rocking orgasm. Right after she comes, she usually pulls me up for a good fucking until I cum. This time was different. When I guessed she was about 75% towards her climax, I entered her and started to fuck her until I came inside her. Since she still hadn't climaxed, she moved her hand down to start masturbating while I remained in her but slowed down. A few seconds after she started playing with her self, I pulled out and started sucking and licking her nipples to get myself geared up again. I only did that for a minute and pushed her hand away and slowly started to kiss my way down her belly and to her pussy.

    Once I was there, I pressed her gently with my thumbs to fully expose her erect clit and started to softly lick it and kiss it. I could taste my cum but not much because I was mainly on her clit. As she continued to warm up, I began to suck on it. Gently at first but then intensely. After a few minutes, she put her hands on my head and started to force my mouth down onto her with more pressure (As she typically does). Then I really started to taste it more.

    I have to say, unlike my fantasy, I never really "enjoyed tasting it" and was a bit apprehensive throughout the experience but the fact that she wanted to come so badly that she would force my face into her knowing I had just came there was in fact, a big turn on for me.

    Afterwards, we spoke about it and she had similar feelings. She said the act of my tasting my own cum, in itself was not a turn on and in fact, she might think it's a turn off if she thought I my main motivation was tasting my cum. She did find it a big turn on, however, that I wanted to please her and lick her so badly that tasting my own cum did not stop me. Hearing that was also a turn on for me.

    In the end, she said it was not something that she "wants to do every time", but if it naturally happens, she's all for it.

    Thanks to everyone who chimed in on this post over the last month!

    Any thoughts anyone?
    Michael
     
  18. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    sounds good sgman