Help Me Please!!!! Please!!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by spiceoflife2k1, Oct 16, 2005.

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  1. spiceoflife2k1

    spiceoflife2k1 New Member

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    I am going through very tough times with my current girlfriend...

    We have doubt in the relationmship because of shit that has happened recently....

    She says that she doesn't feel like I love her...

    HOW CAN I SHOW MY LOVE FOR HER?? Please any suggestions would be very much grateful.... I don't wany to loose her..

    Any suggestions?
     
  2. deeperlover1978

    deeperlover1978 New Member

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    well cant really say without knowing the situation. why does she think she feels that way?
     
  3. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

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    We really can't give you sound advice without knowing what has happened recently to cause this.
     
  4. Logger

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    Dear Spice of Life 2 K 1,

    Have you read the Love Diet? Do you contact GF three times a day?

    http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?p=18050#post18050

    Do you follow all the boundaries that are important to her, that are reasonably easy for you?

    http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?p=14865#post14865


    You might put your problem into Search, and see what comes up for you.

    Search Trust, Love, Fidelity.


    The theory of NLP/Matrix Analyusis, is that ther is a fear or anxiety that may be underpinning a recurring doubt or mistrust. What is the short movie of an undesirable outcome, or submodality, that comes up for GF? What are GF desirable outcomes, or endings for the theoretical movies she is trying to make with her life?

    http://www.talknlp.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=587

    You might post under Marriage and Relationships.

    If you are looking for help, post back, even if it is to slam the answers we gave you so far.

    Good luck, God Bless
     
  5. spiceoflife2k1

    spiceoflife2k1 New Member

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    I always talk with her throughout the day.. We text message eachother all day when we are at work/school

    basically i lied to her about being home.. i said I was home watching tv... she wrote me a letter and came by my house without telling me... i was out eating and driving around.... I didn;t know she was coming by..

    She lied to me by saying she never slept with this guy (BEFORE US) and everytime SHE mentioned him she would swear up and down that she never did anything with him.. then she finally told me that they had sexy twice... It wasn't the fact that it was with the guy, it was that she lied to me for the past 6 months~

    We argure a lot, and it just seems like she wants me to break up with her...
     
  6. Logger

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    Dear Spice of Life 2 K 1,

    How are you at expressing appreciation and Love?

    I am not htat good. I jusat searched alibris for encouragin and copliments affirmations etc. and ordered some books of encouraging phrases.

    Fighting takes two.

    Search this site on Lies. I have had some arguments with people on what lies mean. A lie that she did not sleep with someone is a polite lie. Good people tell polite lies all the time, "YOu look GREAT"

    Your lie was a sneaky lie. Maybe a polite lie, but a little sneaky. YOu do onot explain WHY you lied. GF wants ot be love, I bet.

    You need to defend your own actions, in terms of LOVE, rather than saying, YEAH BUT YOU LIED TOO!!!!.

    AVOID RETORTS.


    Love has tests. Maybe she is thinking about breaking up withy you. My wife threatens divorce every so often.

    How else can you show her you LOVE her?

    What stuff do you buy her? What stuff do yuo do for her?

    What does she ask you for that you don't do?

    List all your compliments you are going to give her tomaorrow.

    List some extra ones for me to give to my wife.

    Buy her an engagement ring, or at lest a friendship ring. What is your strategy with her parents?

    Post More, Learn More

    Blessings
     
  7. Logger

    Gold Member

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    You need to explain your lies in terms of LOVE. Like:


    "The reason I did not want to tell you that I was eating and out driving around was because I didn't want you to feel like you should take time to fix me something to eat, and you had said you were behind in your school work, or had to study for a test".

    Is there any way to explain your lie, in terms of your being considerate to GF?


    Did you ever hear of Radical Honesty in a realtionship? I apply Total Honesty to my relationship, with my wife. If something occurs to me to do, that I would want to keep secret form W, then I just don't do it.
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_summary.html


    Did you ever hear of POJA? POlicy of Joint Agreement? That means that if you can't get the enthusiastic support of GF for an action, youdon't do it. First you agree on what is small potatoes, and you can use your discretion on small stuff. Bigger things are decided together.

    What books have you checked out of the library? Have you looked over the books in the marriage and relationships? 306.7, 306.872. I got Barbara DeAngelis book "What Women Want Men To Know" from the library today.

    I picked up a book of quotations from 808.88. What loving things have you said to GF?

    My advice is at least partly wrong for you. You will learn more yourself, by posting to tell me about what I am wrong about.

    Post more.;)
     
  8. fantasien

    fantasien New Member

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    If you have to ask that question, you shouldn't be here. Do what feels right. Show her a romantic time, like a picnic in the park, do something recreational(No NOT sex!). Do something one on one and simple. It doesn't always have to be about sex and possessions of debt. Show here your support. She may be testing you for how understanding and how mature you can be.
     
  9. Kai

    Kai New Member

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    just tell her how u really feel then do sumthing 4 her other then sex to show u care
     
  10. YeahWhatever

    YeahWhatever New Member

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    BZZZZ... I'm sorry, after spending the best part of half a decade with (what I now know to be) a total psycho chick who was always giving me sh*t that 'you dont love me' and 'you always look at other girls' like I cant *not* look at the hairdresser, she's kinda cutting my hair (ok she was hot...) I'd say...

    ...just make a new plan stan, drop off the key lee, jump on the bus guss... etc etc.

    But then she was a total psycho......

    Of course if your 'shit' is that you've been screwing around or something then she should kick your sorry ass into next month.

    Just my 2c of course, and hey, I'm new here....

    Oh, to answer you question, dont be a jerk, be nice, dont be a point-scoring-psycho-phony. It's a two way street with no stop signs....

    OK I'll shut up now....


     
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