help me please. I need to write a paper about SEX

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ggroneet, May 24, 2005.

  1. ggroneet

    ggroneet New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Israel
    Hello everyone...
    I am writing a paper about problems with sex in relationships and I will appriciate if you post your coments about it..
    the question I want to ask you is "when does Sex result in the failure of a romantic relationshio"....
    Please write whatever you think... But Only if it is okay to use your coments in my paper. it may be annonymous.
    Thanks
     
  2. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2004
    Messages:
    452
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sector 7-G
    When it's lousy. It's a simple answer, but it's also true. I've heard of several couples not surviving because the sex was lousy or boring or a combination.
     
  3. Thorn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    4,151
    Likes Received:
    3
    Interesting subject. I can't talk from experience because I have never had a relationship end because of sex and I have been married to the same woman for 27 years. Many couples probably blame sex for their breakup but I would assume the actual cause is deeper and harder to find. I guess if one caught the other cheating and ended it because of that you could blame it on sex but why were they cheating? Was something missing in the relationship in the first place? Like I said, I’ve never been there so I'm only speculating. Good luck with your paper and I hope some folks here can give you some useful information.
     
  4. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Ggroneet,

    Thanks for being up front about writing a paper. Ryan, the SF Administrator prefers that you not start a second identical thread, in more than one category. You might read over the rules, like no links to nudity. Welcome to Sexual Forums.

    What does your professor believe? First, you want a good grade, so follow the principles your teacher believes.

    What do you mean by a Romatic Relationship? You mean a young man and young woman start dating, and then there is a period of time in which there is romance, but not sex. So another way to word your question, is when does sex cause the ending of a dating relationship?

    Some people might not feel that they are in a romantic relationship until there is some sort of sexual contact.

    What do you mean by sex? Unprotected sex? Penetration with protection?Oral sex? Petting?

    Is the question, how long should you wait to have sex when you are dating? If sex is too soon, will that cause a break-up?

    What do you mean by the failure of a relationship? Break up for a week or a month? A Year, More than 5 years? Still dating, but no longer kissing romanticly?

    Is the teacher preaching abstinance, and trying to make a point that having sex can cause the failure of the romantic relationship?

    What does "Sex Resulting in Failure" mean? Sex occurs first, then the break-up? Does there have to be a causal link? How does sex cause the break up of a relationship? I have had a number of short romatic relationships that involved sex. Does that mean that sex caused the relationship to be short? How do I know all the factors that led to the failure of the relationship?

    What are the logical ways in which sex can cause a relationship to fail? Have you designed a questionaire, for both parties to fill out, to determine to what extent failing to follow abstinence, caused a relationship to fail?

    If abstinance should be followed prior to marriage, then there should be consequences of having sex before marriage. How can sex cause a romance to fail, which could have led to marriage? How romantic of a romantic realtionship are you talking about? Only those romantic relationships that were sufficiently romantic to lead to marriage?

    Can failure to have sex cause a relationship to fail? Sex communicates love. So what ways are you suggesting to use to demonstrate deep love to keep a romantic relationship alive, without sex? One lady accused me of not really loving her because I did not make love to her until the third date.


    Blessings
     
    #4 Logger, May 24, 2005
    Last edited: May 24, 2005
  5. ggroneet

    ggroneet New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Israel
    Thanks you for posting your thought regarding my question! Basically the question is simple. By romantic relationship I mean marriage or long relationship (that involves sex). I think that communication is the key to a good relationship and to good sex. but I wanted to see what other people think.
    Thanks again.
    ggroneet
     
  6. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Some port--Not sure
    A minor digression from the thread, but DO NOT worry about you professor's beliefs. Be your own person and submit your beliefs and the results of your own research. The grade is not the most important thing, the body of work is. After all, Fred Smith submitted an idea at Harvard Business School that his professor considered trash, and proceeded to flunk him. I wonder what the asshole thinks now, condidering that Mr. Smith decided that he didn't need the blessings of said professor and dropped out to open his unsound business idea known as Federal Express (FedEx)? Professors are not God, they just think they are.
     
  7. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Ggroneet,

    So your question is: In a romatically sexual relationship, like marriage, does the absense of quality in sex, or the deterioration of the quality of sex, a factor in the break-up of some marriages/relationships?

    You may feel that you have asked a simple question, and you may fully understand what you mean, but I am struggling to understand your question.

    So by deterioration of the quality of sex, would that include reduced frequency, because of lack of interest? Inability to get it up? Natural old aging? Decreased particpation in sexual activity by a partner? Vaginal dryness from Old Age?

    Could you give me a list of what you mean by low qauality sex?

    I admire the spirit of Columbus 17 and Mr. Smith, but you did not answer the question of what your professor believes.

    If you answer more of the questions that have come up, you will probably get your paper done faster, and help others to give you more ideas.

    Is drug use among Palestinians rare, or is there still an Afganistan connection. Why doesn't Israel assist with funding more drug treatment programs for Palestinians, like Therapeutic community programs, which would build up Social Deterrence? Is Social Deterrence in the Arab/Islamic World increasing or decreasing, for retribuition against the Sins of the Brittish Empire? Polls seem to indicate that the Islamic hatred of the U.S. is increasing.

    Blessings
     
  8. ggroneet

    ggroneet New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Israel
    "Is drug use among Palestinians rare, or is there still an Afganistan connection. Why doesn't Israel assist with funding more drug treatment programs for Palestinians, like Therapeutic community programs, which would build up Social Deterrence? Is Social Deterrence in the Arab/Islamic World increasing or decreasing, for retribuition against the Sins of the Brittish Empire? Polls seem to indicate that the Islamic hatred of the U.S. is increasing" .....
    I really do not want to get into the Israeli-Palestinian problem. I am not a palestinian, but I understand there suffering. regarding your question why Israle do nothing, I can only say (and I am not a big expert on that subject) that Palestine wants to have nothing with Israel and I believe they spent more money on terror than their medical issues.
    that is all I have to say about that. now, going back to my subject,,,,,
    I really have a simple question... and I am only looking for answers to write in my paper. I do not care what my proffesor thinks or believes because this subject was choosen by me (and only me)-- (each one chooses his own subject)!!! so -- I really just want to hear reasons why you guys think people break up and if you think that sex has anything to do with the their problems.... Or maybe if you think sex can help bad relationships?! Now I also believe that the quality of the sex is important and it may cause relationship to fail. but that is again as I said previewsly matter of bad communication between the couple.... Do you agree or disagree?
    Hope I made myself clearer...
    and another thing, I wanted to apologies for the mistakes I might have in English.. as it is not my native language...
    Thanks for your help you all....
     
  9. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    It is challenging to correct mistakes because there is a limited time of some 8 hours to make corrections. I embarrass myself sometimes.

    If you are not sure that your English is correct, then maybe explain the topic another way, just keep using more English words.

    I am sorry that you don't care what your professor thinks, because I have come up with some ideas for your professor. Professors get grants from Corporatins for doing reseach, like Pharmaceutical companies.

    Studies could be done to show that for couples with erectile disfunction problems, that those who used Viagra, had a lower incidence of Divorce. The Add could read, "Save your marriage, use Viagra"

    Conversely, Many partners in romatic relationships are unhappy when their partner cheats. Therefore, the TV ad could say, "Cheating in couples with erectile disfucntion declined 75% when the couple started using Viagra"

    Testimonial: "My PI reports that my wife reduced her affairs from 3 times a week to once per week, once I started using Viagra." You professor could write up a proposal for research to send to Pharmaceutical companies on the postive effect on fidelity and divorce, from Viagra.

    Testimonial: "I went to the hospital after having a hard-on for over four hours, after taking Viagra, and the medication I got at the hospital made it all worth while. I have never been so relaxed in my LIFE."

    What is the E-mail for a professor studying the Palestinian problems? Send me a PM if you want to keep it private. Click on my Avatar, and there will be an option to send me a PM.

    Sex does not cause a relationship to break up. Too Infrequent sex. Rough Sex. Inconsiderate sex. Short duration sex. Inadequate sex may put strain on a relationship. Did you want to take a survey on complaints about sex from partners in a romantic relationship? Many partners would have many complaints. Even very inadequate sex is better than no sex, so many of us stay in relationships that have less than optimal sex from our partners.

    You still have not explained if you want to include cheating as a sex problem. There are plenty of relationships that have broken up as a result of cheating. Did yo want to include cheating sex?

    Blessings
     
    #9 Logger, May 26, 2005
    Last edited: May 26, 2005
  10. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Some port--Not sure
    ......And lawmakers get grants from corporations for passing beneficial laws, judges receive grants for making favorable rulings, state troopers get flashed :eek to forget about speeding tickets. There's much more to education than to be subserviant to big business. The goal is an education, not acting the flunky for multi-billion dollar companies. Professors need to spend more time in front of their classrooms TEACHING instead of in some lab worrying about his bank account. Too many uneducated mental invalids are in possession of degrees because of this cookie cutter approach to higher education.
     
  11. ggroneet

    ggroneet New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Israel
    I agree with Columbus17.
    Logger, I think you took my subject much to far... I have no desire dealing with cheating or getting into sex problems. I don't need to prove that couples using Viagra handle their relationship better or something of that kind. I only want to mention it superficially because it is not my main focus. But THANK you for posting this interesting thoughts and ideas.
     
  12. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Ggroneet,

    I still don't understand your words. How can sex cause the failure of a marriage or long term romantic relationship?

    Blessings
     
  13. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Some port--Not sure
    Sex with others outside the relationship maybe?
     
  14. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Columbus 17,

    I really was trying to help Roneet. Maybe it looks like I was trying to give him a hard time. He said he did not mean cheating.

    I do agree with many of your points about cookie cutter education. I tend to follow non-traditional learning styles, myself. My points about standard education were not intended to be an advocacy supporting the status quo in educational instituions. I was just trying to help the guy.

    Blessings
     
  15. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Some port--Not sure
    No problem, it's just that I'm a current full-time student (yes at my age), and I plan on teaching at local community college. I get so annoyed by the complacent attitude towards mediocrity of both my fellow students and the professors alike. We have been dumbing down America for too long. How many times out of ten do you make a purchase--and the cashier has to look at his/her screen to make correct change? We've bred a generation that can accomplish anything on a computer, but must have a computer to tell them a quarter is proper change for a dollar for a 0.75 item.
    Sorry to rant, maybe I need a tampon----eeewwwwwww that's gonna hurt. :eek
     
  16. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Columbus 17,

    I am tempted to do some teaching, might be fun. Building critical thinking skills is a topic on which more writing has been done recently. Teaching people how to evaluate issues, rather than what to think, seems more important in a democratic society.

    Blessings
     
  17. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Ggroneet,

    Perhaps you could send me your question by PM in Hebrew, or whatever your native language might be. Make each line short, but putting a return at the end, and put the Engish translation under each word. I have a Strongs Concordance with a Hebrew-English dictionary. What Hebrew word are you using for "sex"? Do you have the Strongs Concordance Reference Number? If you are using Slang Hebrew, you might include a definition of hte Slang Word.

    Ryan asks that only English be used on this forum, so that is why I suggest you send me Hebrew in a PM.

    I have been thinking about your question, but in English, your question seems line an oxyomoron, the opposite of what it seems to say.

    Blessings
     
  18. ggroneet

    ggroneet New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Israel
    thanks

    Okay, My paper is in English so I have to struggle with the language anyway, there is no point translating it into another language.
    What I mean by my research question is whther sex be a cause for breaking up relationships. what do I mean by that?
    there are some couples that their sex is great but there is no communication, they do not understand each other etc.
    Now, do you think that sex can 'cure', 'help' their relationship??
    let's say it is the other way around, and the relationship is great! the couple understand eachoter completly... but the sex sucks. it is not working for them. they are not into the same things etc. do you think that can ruined the relationship? what is more important: good communication? or good sex?
    Is it both? can a relationship 'survive' only becuase of good sex?

    that is what I meant by my question. Hope it is clearer nowwwwwwww.
    and a note: although English is not my native language, I think I handle it well, maybe I have some spelling mistakes but I manage to understand you all... Thanks for helping, Roneet
     
  19. Logger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2003
    Messages:
    1,214
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Roneet:

    Have you looked at marriagbuilders. com?

    Here is a thread from MB Divorce Section. Divorce usually occurs from cheating, which may have been partly caused, the temptation increased, by sexual inadequacies in the marriage. Divorce or Separation rarely occurs directly from inadequate sex. You might do some Search words on MB Divorce Section, Like Sex or Inadeqate or Bad, or Incompatible, etc.

    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=778241&page=0&fpart=1&vc=1


    Here is a poll on sex:
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=2710852&an=0&page=0#2710852

    Here is an MB Thread on Abstanance for problem slaving in marriage:
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=2717023&an=0&page=0#2717023

    Holding On To It had a problem on MB that his wife was not interested in sex:

    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubb...4697&Words=sex&topic=&Search=true#Post2717647

    Here is an MB article on SF Sexual Fulfillment in marriage:
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5013_qa.html

    To better understand why inadequate Sex is not a primary reason for separation and divorce, in itself, it is more a feeling of being neglected or betrayred.
    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8111_leave.html

    Sex is only one of a number of factors that create and sustain a marriage or long term romantic relationship. Here is an article about the 10 MB Emotional Needs:

    http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html


    Inadequate sex in marriage, leading to infidelity, is not necesarily a couase for a failure of the marriage. If the Phladerer's Creed is observed, many marri8age survive with infidelity as a means to supplement Sexual Fulfillmenet that is lacking in the marriage. Her is a link to the Philanderer's creed:
    http://www.philanderers.com/articles/creed.htm

    Blessings
     
    #19 Logger, May 28, 2005
    Last edited: May 28, 2005
  20. columbus17

    columbus17 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Some port--Not sure
    Mathematics for me.