Help from the guys, please!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by NaughtyKnickers, Jun 19, 2009.

  1. NaughtyKnickers

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    I could use some advice from the guys, about giving women oral.

    My husband and I have an active sex life as in we have lots of sex, (my libido is higher than his, but he bears more stress day to day, and I understand and accept the impact that can have on sexual energy.)
    Previously I've been happy to enjoy the bounty of sexual positions, quickies, rough sex, morning sex and lovvvve giving head, not particularly bothered by not receiving oral sex myself, and was fine with that.
    But I've reached a point where I really wish my husband knew my body better, and could use his hands and mouth more.
    It's less about "I love giving you head, why don't you return the favor?", than wishing he knew my body. We've been together 10 years, and I feel like it's time. Eventually, banging it out in every possible position runs its course, I guess. :eek:

    He's very reserved and conservative by nature, but has expressed no moral objections or dislikes to giving oral. It takes a pretty steamy evening to get him into that element of doing it, and when in that mood he seems to enjoy it, but gets frustrated within minutes when I don't climax from what he's doing. :ugh
    It's hard on both of us. He feels bad that he's not making me climax, and I feel bad that I'm not performing.
    His approach is stiff and rough with his hands and sloppy with his mouth.. it just doesn't work for me. :( but I don't want to correct him for fear of spoiling his mood by some degree of saying "No no, you're doing it wrong! Do this!... Do that!" (A wife corrects her husband enough, I don't wanna be a nag in the bed too! :p)

    I've gotten the "She Comes First" book and read it with him, but he seemed overwhelmed by it, so I didn't push the issue. I'm at a bit of a loss ???

    Guys, when you learned to give oral sex or navigate a woman's body with your hands, what were the most prized bits of technique you learned? What aspects of it excited you as you were learning, and made you look forward to doing it again? Anything I should NOT do?
    Have any pointers in general? :eyes

    We all put ourselves out there and feel vulnerable when learning a new sexual technique, I want to be sensitive to my man's pride, but also want him to learn what makes me tick, and gain the confidence of knowing how to handle his wife's body.

    Thanks!
     
  2. heelfetish

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    I'll throw my hat into the ring to start things off. The serious GF I had before my wife wouldn't let me give her oral, and wouldn't give me any either in return. So in that sense things just worked out. ;) :lol

    With my wife, I suppose I've just learned to listen to her body language. If I do something that she seems to react to, then I'll keep doing that for a while. Over the last 11 years with her I think I know which buttons to push. But she has always been a Rubick's cube to me. What she likes to start she can't stand a couple minutes in, and vice versa. For her, I have to start slow, and very, very gentle. Rub her clit ever so gingerly with the pad of my finger (never the tip!), and when using my tongue, I have to be sure to use the broad part of my tongue to start. As she warms up, the likes it a little more aggressive, fingers stroking her G-spot, tongue working over her clit, hands either on her thighs or on her breasts. By this time she usually has a handful of my hair clenched in her fist and she's gyrating violently on the bed, thrashing about, begging for me to stop and fuck her before she cums. :eek:

    This dance didn't happen overnight, it took a while. But if it wasn't for her guidance, I don't think we'd have ever come this far.

    I know what you're saying about not wanting to nag on him, or offer up suggestions. I totally see where you're coming from. But really, I think that's what's going to have to be done. Grab him by the back of his head and guide him where you need him. Grind against his face if you need to. And if he's being sloppy, kindly (sexily) suggest that he calm down, to do it with love. To me it's all in your tone of voice. If you offer up a suggestion in a sexy tone, then react (overreact?) when he does it right, then I'm sure he's gonna learn quickly. I mean, what kind of man doesn't want to please his wife? :)

    I don't have any magical solutions, but a little gentle communication may be all you need. Don't think of it as nagging, just think of it as a gentle nudge in the right direction. ;)
     
  3. johnnyangel694u

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    The first thing that comes to my mind is maybe make a game out of it or role play. Tell him this is your time and he is going to do what you tell him. Make him lay on the bed with his tongue out and you control the movements my your motions. Then say move your tongue in circles or up and down. If he does it wrong, "punish" him. Make it fun.
    If that doesn't work. Call me. I will show him how it is done.
     
  4. NaughtyKnickers

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    Thank you so much guys!

    Heely, I love your approach, honestly, I'm green with envy! :eyes .. and the reminder that it didn't happen over night is helpful, too. :p

    johnnyangel, your suggestion is fantastic! For one it would take a little pressure off us both to make it a playful/role play scenario. :eek:

    :bow Many thanks guys!

    P.S. I will strangle you with my thong if it doesn't work. :D
     
  5. bluedragon

    bluedragon New Member

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    Ok let me give this a try.

    Sucking a woman’s clit!

    Ok let shine a light on a woman clit for both sexes. My question to any of you is just how much attention have you paid to a womans clit? Now guys your down there suck and licking on it so you should have a really good looked at it? And ladys I know most of you only get to see your own if you look at it with a mirror or touch it.

    Ok first off there is a hood of skin or if you prefer foreskin like that of a man. That is over most of her clit. Now too really to get to her right and get her to feel very special when you lick or suck on her you have to pull her hood down to expose her whole clit to you. You also have to be care with this because if you do it to hard you will hurt her.

    Now look at her clit closely and you will see it is shaped a lot like a mans cock, it even as a tapper to on the under side of it also like a mans cock. Now at this point guys you need to know that when you lick and suck in it the feeling is different from one side to the other just like the way it is with a mans cock. You will also notice the size of it varies from one woman to the next. And how long it is also varies from one to another.
    Now gently slide your thumb and first finger down her clit and gently push down about ½ am inch and you will see there is still more of her under the skin at the base just like there is a man cock. Now slowly lick the end of her clit a few times then suck it a little on the end not the whole thing yet. You want it to start to fill full of blood just like a mans cock does. Now if you have a woman with a large clit or even if you dont once you get it swelled up you can stroke it just like she does your cock but you use the ends of your two fingers.
    Now guy if you lick and suck her from the button up she will orgasm faster than she will if you do it from the top or the sides. So keep in mind you can control her orgasms this way.

    Now for you guy that's got a woman with a big or long clit or both keep in mind you can do her just like she can do you. You can get her clit up in to you mouth and your lips all the way down on it and suck and stroke her like she does you.
    Word of advice here she will cum and shoot hard this way just like a man will and you can get a mouth full of cum and all over you chain.
    There is one more spot right here you guys dont want to miss. The space between her clit and virginal opening is also a very hot spot. Licking and suck here will do wonders also.

    Heres a tip slide you first finger into her pussy and put your thumb on this spot and use your other hands and fingers to work her clit and suck and lick her clit. After you get started and she starts to moan slow rub your thumb up and down between her clit and your finger in her pussy and watch what happens. Also you can also add one more feeling to this by running your first finger in and out of your pussy all at the same time.

    Also guy at this point I will tell you she may start hitting you and pawing on you because your about to make her cum harder than she has ever come if you can pull all of this off at once. She may ever pass out on you. Now watch her if she does pass out on you because she can cum and orgasm so hard her heart will stop so watch her closely.

    Picture are to come to show you what I am talking about.

    Bill
     
  6. lbushwalker

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    I'm totally 100% with Heelfish here.
    Communication is the key; telling/showing him what works for you but then you also have to know what does.
    I have always found that long slow flat tongue licks upwards from vaginal entrance to clit works best initially.
    Once the woman is on fire everything else goes well and for the finale....... the buzz saw licks are awesome.
     
  7. heelfetish

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    Sorry to interrupt the thread in progress, but I just had to pause to chuckle at the latest misspelling of my username. :lol I don't know why, but my name seems to generate very funny misspellings. I think I like this one the best! :phat

    We now return to the thread in progress. :lol
     
  8. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    It's more funny than you think because heelfish is an actual fish. :)
     
  9. NaughtyKnickers

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    Thank you for the advice guys, will put it to good use, I promise! :D

    And thank you Puss, I learned something new today, .. had no idea heelfish was an actual species! :lol
     
  10. lbushwalker

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    That will teach me writing stuff with a couple under the belt:nerv
    At least it claims to be the best:)