help about sex isnt everything

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by blake, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. blake

    blake New Member

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    hi guys and gals.
    I need some serious help, i have been dating this girl for close to three years, i love her to death and i hate the thought of hurting her. But here within the last year we have encountered some serious sexual problems. our sex life has died to nothing and it really upsets me for some reason. i am 19 and she is 18. we used to be animals in the bedroom but it seems like im the only one wanting sex. i hate the thought of cheating on her and i would hate it if she cheated on me but i cant find a solution to the problem and i want to ask yalls opinions. thanks and bye
     
  2. cbrmale

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    As a man of 49 who has been married for almost 22 years and has good sex every other day, the best thing I can offer is my experience. There are many things that work for us: we are good friends and companions, we get on well together, we enjoy romantic times together, and we have reached a comfort zone with both routine sex as well as trying variations from time to time.

    All these ingredients make for a good, healthy, loving and regular sex life. The key ingredient is that my wife loves me, she enjoys my company and she gets a lot of satisfaction from our shared sex life.

    I hope this helps you in your search for what may be missing in your broader relationship, and that missing ingredients are the things that often impact on sex lives (or lack thereof).
     
  3. Dreama

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    If you aren't compatible, perhaps you aren't meant to be together, especially if you think cheating on her is a palatable solution. (it's really not).
     
  4. heelfetish

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    Cheating is no solution. If you're considering cheating, IMO it's obvious the relationship is in serious trouble and maybe it's time to move on and find someone that you're more compatible with.
     
  5. fippy

    fippy New Member

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    im 19 and i dont think i ave much exp in this but i would just talk to her abut it and tell her that a relationship isent based on sex but its a big part as if it wasent then you coulf fuck another person and sex can convey your feelings with the certain things you do for one another but thats me and my little storie here has loop holes as people who have three somes and have a strong relationship i bet you thier relationship is strong beacus they fuck alot and if you realy wanna do soemthin with her just try to sneak your hand some where or fin the right time while making out with her but thats me and i dont have good exp on this situation sorry hope i helped
     
  6. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    Spice it up. Get some candles, make her dinner, turn on barry white and go nuts. once the flame is back it should stay lit.
     
  7. Lefty'sLefty

    Lefty'sLefty New Member

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    Incompatible?

    I'm in the maybe you're incompatibe camp. You're 18-19, you got a long way to go. If you've talked about this problem and tried to work it out you've probably done all you can there may not be much left to salvage. If she's no longer sexually interested in you she may simply no longer be intersested in you. From the sound of your post, you're not interested in her anymore, you're simply hanging-on to prevent hurting her. It's nice that you don't want to her her but frankly, maybe she feels the same way and dooesn't want to hurt you?

    Really not trying to be a downer, just food for thought and maybe discussion.
     
  8. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Did she stop having sex with you or is she just not into as much any more?

    I've presumed you've asked her why she's gone off sex?. Anywho its not fair for someone in a relationship to just end their sex life without giving their partner an explanation which they're entitled to. It could be a medical reason or maybe she's just going through a bad patch. Either way you making clear that its an issue will make show her that it has to be sorted rather than ignoring it.
     
    #8 sarah_rslp, Mar 7, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2008
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    If your g/f has recently gone on the pill or some other medication, that could be the cause of her reduced libido. If not, it might just be that she naturally has a low sex drive. New relationships are usually more passionate, as our bodies just seem to create more hormones. Have a heart-to-heart with your g/f and see if you can figure it out.

    While it would be a shame to end a three-year relationship that has some promise, it would be much better than continuing it for another 10 years, starting a family, buying a home, etc., and then coming to the conclusion that it's just not going to work.