Hello

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by lilyrandrae, Oct 27, 2006.

  1. lilyrandrae

    lilyrandrae New Member

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    Good Afternoon, everyone :) I am new here, and am looking to spice things up a bit with my marriage. My husband isn't sure what we should do, but it seems to me he is getting bored with our sex life. says he wants to do something outside of the social boundaries. i kind of agree with him.. though it's finding out what to do that we aren't going to get in trouble with that is the problem. i've been looking through the fantasies section, but it just doesn't seem as though they would be for us.

    just as an fyi, we have 2 young boys, so we can't really get out all that much :( if you have any suggestions, i would be extremely grateful. LOL
     
  2. pirouette

    Gold Member

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    I'm certain a lot of members will put their 2 cents in on this topic. My husband and I decided quickly after marriage that exploring the kinky side of sexuality would be healthy and fun. We decided to explore toys, porn (videos, dvd's, subscriptions, internet), role playing, joining a kink society, exploring the various techniques from other cultures......we have experienced a lot together to say the least.
    Most importantly, we are very comfortable communicating with each other. It is important to listen carefully to the other persons interest/disinterest in any particular situation. Always discuss it thoroughly before trying something new. Every new experience can be followed by a conversation (Did you enjoy this? Why? What would make it better?).
    Take your time. Investigate. Experiment with each other before seeking "group/swapping" experiences (that's a huge conversation in itself!). And try to keep an open mind.
    Good luck. :)
     
  3. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    With these swap things, don't the men get jealous and mad at each other? But generally I agree that crossing a few boundries does zest things up a bit! So Lily, what things have worked for you already? And what hasn't? Are you considering something specific?
     
  4. lilyrandrae

    lilyrandrae New Member

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    a few extra details

    we really haven't tried anything out of the ordinary since our second son was born, which was almost 3 years ago. before that, though, we used to engage in kinky games of truth or dare with his best friend, or we would go for a midnight romp in the living room.... we would get really smashed, too. :lol . *sighs* those were the good old days.. :) it almost always ended with a diet coke and a cheeseburger, and though while that's not the healthiest thing in the world, it was kind of our cigarette since we don't smoke.

    nowadays, we're just lucky to get some quality time with each other because both of us are wrapped up in World of Warcraft, or WoW to some others. anyway.. this weekend has been really nice, though, and next weekend, specifically the 5th of november, is our anniversary :) we've been married 2 years!

    as for trying something specific, we're just looking to have a "good time" with each other. the spark in our lives has gone down, but not out, thankfully. i really don't think swapping is for us, though. hehe. just not quite into that kind of thing. i really appreciate your input on my situation, and i love this site. it's the best one i've found forumwise. :)
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Having toddlers can definitely put a damper on your sex life. Just remember, it's a temporary situation.

    As for swapping - It's obvious that you already know that's not the route for you guys. In my opinion, if you and your husband are lacking in your own sexual relationship, bringing another person into the bedroom will not draw you closer. It will probably only confuse you.

    Some of the things you mentioned above (and labeled them part of 'the good old days') -- are still possible (sans getting smashed ;) ). There is a lot to be said about stealing moments, and feeling like you are getting away with something - it heightens your sexual pleasure. I suppose it's the element of risk.

    I mean - get it on in the living room, with the kids asleep! If you are a 'screamer', imagine how hot it will be to try with all your might not to make any noise when you "O".

    How about finding a babysitter for the dinner hour, even if it's a neighbor. Fix a dinner (cheeseburgers & diet coke is fine) - candlelight - make it special. When he gets home from work, show up at the door butt-nekkid. Or in some sexy lingerie. SERIOUSLY! Even if at first you feel self-concious. Then, make every minute of these 2 hours count.

    And whatever you do, DON'T spend 1/2 the time talking about the kids.

    *damn! too much coffee! sorry for the long post*