first off whats up sexual forums? im new here so go easy on me. this place looks like my new place to come to when i need to discuss the sex. ill start with this. i wrote this on another forum but theres about ZERO traffic so i found a forum more specified to my needs. So my ex and i were together for 5 years and i broke up about a month ago for infinite reasons and we've been going on and off since. Its been absofuckinglutely hectic. I should warn you, we are both completely psychotic and its magnified when it comes to our currently undefined relationship. Crazy CRAZY for each other and both of us are a crazy ex. Very confusing time for both of us and its spawned some new experiences. One happened last night. Last night we talked about possibly getting back together and I told her no (knowing I'd probably change my mind the next day). I''m sleeping on the couch after falling asleep to some netflix. It's like 3 a.m. when i hear "WAKE THE FUCK UP". It was her, in my house standing over me. First I was scared thinking someone was about to rob me or some shit but when i realize it's her I get angry and ask why shes here. She says my reason for telling her no is bullshit and insists we get back together or I give a better reason. Of course i take her back almost instantly. Within a couple minutes of hugging and having a brief moment of peace, were talking about how badly weve hurt each other recently. She starts getting super pissed about it and punches me square in the ballsack. It fucking hurt but I told her i deserved it (i probably deserved more than that). She felt a little better but i could tell there was more anger held inside her sexy, fiery, latina, focused, insane self. Her dark straightened hair was sticking up like a lions mane. I told her if hitting me makes you feel better then do it, I deserve it. She hits my sack again. At this point I'm getting turned on by her anger which I almost always do. But for the first time in my life I'm enjoying this type of phyiscal pain. I'm half crying half laughing at the situation, not understanding it completely. She moves in for a breakupmakeupfightsex kiss and stops. I read her eyes and said you're not done are you. She grabs my balls and squeezes until I scream. Then slaps me across the face. She squeezes my balls again and kisses me while she squeezes harder. She bites my lip hard and stops right before I'm about to give in. I was busting through my jeans, I've never seen her like this, ever. Where the fuck did she learn this? Is this all just natural? I took her virginity and I've never done anything close to this with her so what/where the fuck??? I've never in my life thought I would be into this kind of stuff but my god was I wrong. We calm down a little bit and look at the clock. It was like 4 in the morning. She says do you want to go to bed, I say yes. We go into the bedroom and lay down. Maybe half a second later shes telling me how much of a dick I am. I take advantage and tell her she deserved it. Shes furious. She rips off my pants and slaps my balls. Shes saying things like take it back. I say no and she slaps harder and harder until I say ok ok ok I take it back. She tells me I'm going to fucking pay. Oh god. She slaps me, grabs my balls and tells me to get my belt. I do and when I give it to her she tells me to get on all 4's. Im scared. She whips my ass hard as shit and I collapse on the bed rubbing my ass. She hits me 2 more times, not as hard. I tell her it wasn't that bad. She grabs my dick and starts jerking me off. She slaps my balls until i go flacid and then jerks me again until I'm hard. She slaps me and jerks me again. At her slightest sense of pleasure she slaps my face or my balls. Then she jerks me until im about to cum and stops. She edges me a few times and hits me some more. Then she got on top of me and just sat there looking at me, breathing hard looking sexy as fuck, I wanted her to impregnate ME. She rides me looking me in the eyes the entire time and hitting me when she thinks im enjoying it too much. I fuck her however she wants me to, every position however she wants me to fuck her. She chokes me at some points and slaps me constantly. She finally cums in missionary with her head laying off the edge of the bed and I cum with her, one small thought away from cumming deep inside her not birth controlled pussy. We smoke a cigarette and do it again and then pass out. I've never done that before. I don't understand. Why did I like it? I'm 23 and i thought i knew all that i liked sexually. Is this even healthy? btw we mutually broke up this afternoon if anyones wondering. my main question is why did i like this? i have a strong desire for more.