He wants no sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by teacher88123, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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    :)
    Hi I have a question and especially for you boys/men

    I hangged out with this guy when I went abroad for studying.. I already met him once on hollidays..first we were friends but somehow we attracted each other.. The first time we were together in bed I told him that I'm a virgin and want to wait for the right person and the right time and that I'm just not ready now.. he told me to tell him whenever I will be.
    so we hangged out again, did some petting and I also get me a pill..
    Then I told me that I'm ready and that I want him to be my first, but then he said that he is flattered but he thinks that we should wait.. and later he told me that that he really likes me and have deep feeling for me but that he wants us to be on the same feeling level and that he is not ready to sleep with me..
    I was hurt, because I thought he wants me too. Can you help me to understand that? :(
     
  2. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    Some guys are intimidated by a virgin. It's a big responcibility to make virgin experience a wonderful meaningful first time. At least the guy was not a jerk and took you anyway just for his own pleasure. Your first time should be special as you only get one first time.
     
  3. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    He either wants a greater emotional connection that he doesn't feel you're providing. Maybe he just doesn't want you anymore and tried to let you down gently.
     
  4. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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    yes he told me that he wants to be equal with my feelings.. but we hadn't enough time to get to know each other better because I left (had to go back home).. but we have contact and he sometimes send naughty pictures or write what he wants to do with me.. and he is looking forward to see me next year..
     
  5. Gerhardt

    Gerhardt New Member

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    Most guys inherently believe (with good reason) that girls are very likely to be come attached to who they lose their virginity too. He's probably taking things slow so he can figure out who you really are. I'd say keep doing what your doing and he'll come around.

    You're lucky, most women i know who want to lose their virginity complain about how most guys just want a tight fuck. Seems like you've caught a guy who thinks a few steps ahead.
     
  6. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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    hmm you are right..
    but we had realy hot petting.. and then he just stopped.. it was strange.
    I didn't think that he was afraid that I would be attached,because I had to leave to another country... but now he is writing me that he miss my body and my smell and that he wants to please me in every way.. but well I have to wait one year to see him again, and I'm afraid that he will cheat on me (altough we are not in a relationship) :(
     
  7. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    Hmm... no offence, my first thoughts... and I am thinking like a man, that he wanted to hit it and quit it but did not want to deal with the guilt for taking your virginity. Most men find it a turn on. Have you heard or seen this guy again since?
     
  8. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    I just read your first post and not read the follow ups.

    Its up to you what you want to do. When you see him again after a year, will you be able to have a stable relationship which will involve no long distance between you?
     
  9. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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    No I'm living in another country.. it's really hard.. It makes no sence,but I can't give up on him. he also introduced me to his family and friends and wants to meet my.. it's so hard :(
     
  10. Essene

    Gold Member

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    No one knows what he wants save for him.

    If you find a way to help him express that with you, bully!

    I, for one, will never take a girls virginity. It isn't in me to handle that responsibility, thus it will not be in her.
     
  11. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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    responsibility?? Everyone of us was once a virgin..
    so you say you would rather have sex with a whore than with a virgin?
     
  12. paintedblue

    paintedblue Member

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    I'd say yes..

    Two reason..

    1) A virgin really doesnt know anything about what makes good sex good. She is more apt to just lay there, in pain. So you have to go slow.. be careful.. there are a lot more restrictions with virgins than an "experienced" woman.

    2) A whore has a far more sexual experience, and can/will do pretty much anything. She wants to feel good.. and she wants you to feel good, so the sky is the limit.


    To be honest, I never really understood the alure of a"virgin".. and I sure as shit am not gonna blow my self up for 40 of them..
     
  13. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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    -yes it depends on if it's a virgin of 16years or one of 23... everytime we made out he was hard.he said I turn him on soo bad.. and who says that the first time is always painful??
     
  14. pow999

    pow999 New Member

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    which country did this happen in?
     
  15. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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  16. ky1000

    ky1000 New Member

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    I think you and everyone else here are over-analyzing the situation. Take it for what it is, believe what he says, and let the relationship develop more.
     
  17. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    then the sex will be great. imagine a year of teasing and flirting than you finally get together...:eek
     
  18. hubbywubby

    hubbywubby New Member

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    maybe it just was not a good night for him.... Its a lot of pressure and maybe he wanted it to be perfect and did not think it was the best time. If he really likes you hell be back. You waited this long. Just make sure now that if you do go for it it's because you want it not because you think he may not... Good luck..
     
  19. rivalsrivals

    rivalsrivals New Member

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    Yup, some kind of imagination is necessary.
     
  20. teacher88123

    teacher88123 New Member

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    therefore the pictures and tapes ;)