He has done it again

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by loveit247, May 12, 2008.

  1. loveit247

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    For all of those who are suprised (I am not) he has done it again.
    This time he did it in bed on Saturday morning. I have told him to fuck off and call me when he has grown up. That caused some upset from him. I am just not going to share my boyfriend with his mommy.

    He has finally admitted that his mother and sister are influencing his decisions in our relationship and he pulls away from me because they do not approve.
    He does not want to break up but I am sorry, I am not hanging around for this crap again!
     
  2. Dreama

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    And so you should not, loveit. I hope he learns to live his own life, in a way that actually satisfies him...Not his family.
     
  3. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    What does...

    ...that mean if you'll allow me to play counselor. Give me an example of a decision they influenced and why it upsets you.

    :hugs:
     
  4. loveit247

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    Well, when he told them that we were back together and that he wanted them to be nicer to me (they treat me like shit) they told him that they don't want him dating me and that he will never have their blessing. So he withdraws his feelings for me.
     
  5. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Is that...

    ...what he would say? Would he agree that's the way it is?
     
  6. loveit247

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    Well, he finally admitted to it last night. We broke up a while back because he said he loved me but was no longer in love with me. This happened two weeks after I put my foot down about how his family treats me (making derogatory comments about me, how I was raised, my faith or lack thereof and my race). He then came back and told me he made a mistake, he was deeply in love with me and wanted to be with me.

    I begged him not to come back into my life unless he was serious. He confirmed that he was and when I raised the family issue, he told me that they would just have to accept that he loved me. Well, two weeks ago he had a meeting with his mother and sister. I had told him that I no longer wanted to hide in the shadows because of them. They straight out told him that they did not want him dating me as they did not want me to be a part of the family.
    Fast forward two weeks, he has now once again "not sure if he is in love with me".

    I have had enough, really I have. I do not need to date an adult man who has to ask his mommy persmission to date someone.
     
  7. Dreama

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    Yeah, that's pretty nut-so. My best advice would be to move on to someone without mommy issues.
     
  8. loveit247

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    Yeah, I think that is for the best. I am really over the shit! It is a great pity because I do love him hugely!
     
  9. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    HIS loss, for sure!! As hard as it might be for a while - you're obviously doing the right thing. At his age, if he's truly in love, but Mommy dictates who 'is and is not going to be a part of the family'... ? Serious problems down the road. :eyes

    Good luck to you, Loveit - :grouphug
     
  10. Dreama

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    Yeah, you deserve much better.
     
  11. loveit247

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    Thanks all. My head is telling me to run far and fast (so far I have hobbled a little ways down the road) but my heart is screaming about how much I love him. I know this is NEVER going to work. He lacks the dedication to put in place healthy boundaries.

    Life goes on, obviously he is not meant to be mine and there is someone else out there for me.
     
  12. Hot Wheels

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    Exactly right loveit....
    I mean...despite your feelings for him....could you really imagine being tied to his domineering family for the rest of your life?......stuff that....it is indeed a shame that his family dictates how and with whom he shall spend his life and I can only see more of the same in his future....
    You come across as a girl deserving of so much better loveit, so dont hold yourself back from pursuing the love and happiness that may be just around the corner.
    And...try not to stress over it too much....ok, so your trying to find Mr Right.....but bear in mind that he may just find you instead... you know:)

    *HW gives loveit a warm hug and wishes her well*
     
  13. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Good for you Loveit. My last boyfriend (before the Swede) was a real mamma's boy as well, and his mother was also the interfering, judgmental type.

    Not that I think there's anything wrong with a guy having a close relationship with his mother. The Swede talks to his mother on the phone several times a week, but he's not still connected to her tit.
     
  14. loveit247

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    LOL! I keep telling people we broke up because of his titanium apron strings.
    He keeps calling me and telling me that we can work this out. I usually end up telling him I am cutting my toe nails and I have to go.

    He even went so far as to tell me he was making a pro and cons list about us, I told him that it was very nice for him and I was watching Scandal (a TV show). LOL! He did not like that.
    Now he is trying to get me to go out to dinner with him this weekend. No donut! Sorry, he is just looking for a shag. He seems to think that we are going to try and work it all out.

    Unless he orders a hit on his mother and sister, no thanks!
     
  15. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Loveit...dump his ass! You are making the right decision. Your life would be hell on earth if you ended up married to this guy. You CAN (and WILL) love someone else. Cut him loose, and DO NOT look back. You don't NEED someone who isn't sure how they feel about you, or who's mother and sister can (and WILL) negatively influence how he feels about you. Sounds like (regardless of why) he wants you when he doesn't have you and doesn't want you when he does have you. Who needs that? You deserve better. Allow someone who's going to treat you like a princess find you by detaching yourself from this friggin' loser. (And be picky...)

    Hope I wasn't too candid. ;)

    BD
     
  16. loveit247

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    Not too candid at all. I don't need that child in my life.
    Sure, being alone is not nice, but it is better then wondering when I will be thrown to the curb stone again.
     
  17. johnnyangel694u

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    Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier!!!!:lol

    However.

    I am a firm believer in if it was meant to be, something will happen to bring you together.
     
  18. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Agreed, but it sure *sounds* to me like that *something* has had plenty of time to happen, and hasn't. Knowing only what Loveit has told us, my impression is that her best choice is simply to move on. It's a helluva lot better for her to make this decision now than to have to make it 10 years from now.

    If he can't decide now whether he's "in love" with her or not, then in 10 years he will know for sure that he is NOT. (This may be harsh, but he probably "falls back in love" with her now only when he needs to get laid.) This...emotional commitment?...is obviously something that is crucial to Loveit now, and it will only get worse as time goes by. She shouldn't set herself up for what she can already logically see would be a failed marriage.

    Darlin', don't waste your time with a loser. There are far too many guys who are worth your affections AND will return them in kind.

    BD
     
  19. johnnyangel694u

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    After I posted I realized that I should have not added the something would happen to bring you together.
    I was going to put something funny after that but thought people would think it was in poor taste.