He Cheated...more than once

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by luvbug, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. luvbug

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    My guy cheated on me....more than once. With is ex...none the less.

    Dumb ass me forgave him the first time......he promised it would never happen again..yadda yadda yadda.......then I find out he done it again. He begged and pleaded and wore me down...I forgave again. He finally admitted they had sex 4 times.....

    We are on another site together and he is a huge flirt....come to find out he has been texting another female member there...they even talked about secretly meeting *she lives 2 hrs away from him...Im thousands of miles away*.......but a tragedy struck him and that meet didnt happen. She sent him a text saying she was in love with him *she has never met him*.....thats when he told me about her. He promised to have no contact with her in any way,shape or form...but on that site they constantly banter back and forth in the threads....little innuendos.....and he knows it kills me but continues to do it. He says Im reading too much into it....its just words..doent mean anything. To me that is the same as emotionally cheating. Am I wrong? Am I reading more into it?
    He says he is IN LOVE with me....but does love his ex too. I dont know if I believe that. He also says he has no feelings for the other woman,but he is attracted to her.:eyes

    He knows he has blown my trust in him. He thinks I should be able to trust him with the snap of my fingers. Im sorry,but I cant do that. He has hurt me worse than I have ever been hurt in my life.

    I still love him....but I dont know how I can ever trust him or believe what he tells me again. Part of me wants to just let him go....part of me doesnt.Im torn.

    I feel like he puts that other site and that other woman ahead of me/us. He would rather be on that site than talk to me on IM.

    I guess Im seeking advice/opinons/comments from everyone.Theres a lot to this,but Im just hitting what I feel is the most important things.

    Maverick...I know what you think and believe me I think about what you have said alot...feel free to post it again.lol

    My head tells me to kick his cheating ass to the curb...my heart tells me to fight for him.

    Wheres Backcheck...Im sure he will let me have it with both barrels :lol


    Any comments/thoughts/opinions/suggestions/questions are welcomed.
     
  2. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Kick him to the curb now, it will end up happening sooner or later, sooner equals less heartache for you xx Good luck sweet xx
     
  3. pbs

    pbs
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    Luvbug,

    IMO, he is keeping you "in reserve" until he finds someone better, and is lying to you by saying he loves you just to keep you around. Actions speak much louder than words, and he has proven by his actions that he is unreliable at best. Get him out of your life ASAP.
     
  4. Mittimer

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    I mean this with all due respect, but this relationship seems very childish. You're just out of a shitty marriage and he's cheating on you with someone more convenient.

    You're putting too much stock into this relationship working and you're going to get yourself hurt worse. You've allowed him to cheat on you not once, but twice and let it continue, that is bullshit.

    You're a stronger woman then this, Bug. Stand up for yourself and be that strong woman. End it right now and move on to someone who's better for you and will treat you like the beautiful, intelligent and loving woman that you really are.
     
  5. ply

    ply
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    If you want an open relationship that's finebut you still need trust. if he's banging everybody he gets a chance at, you're banging them to. Who else is his ex banging? You're banging them too.
    Do not have unprotacted sex with him. Tell him you're OK with an open relationship or a fuckbuddy if that is what you want. At first glance that seems to be all he has to offer
     
  6. Mittimer

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    I want to add, you say that he's fully blown your trust in him.

    There is no relationship without trust. Just remember that. You will doubt every one and everything in your relationship if you continue this.
     
  7. RideNaked

    RideNaked New Member

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    The above comments are all spot on. Dump the stupid ass. JMHO...

    T
     
  8. Untamed

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    Right on pbs.

    *hugs* luvbug
     
  9. Alwayslearningsex

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    Hi there. I will not be judgemental but those are serious questions to ask yourself.

    How does it feel to be with him except for the love you have for him?

    If you cannot trust him anymore and you know he will do it again, is this what you want out of a relationship?

    He obviously doesn't care for your feelings, to me he doesn't have the same feelings you have for him. Is this what you want out of a relationship ..... knowing you are just another one in his life?

    What do you have to gain to hang on to something that doesn't feel good?

    You and mister love are far apart, and he doesn't bother waiting to be with you. This is not a mutual relationship based on trust, chances are if he is around with you that he will do the same. Are you ready to deal with him full time doing that shit to you?

    There are other men around, I am sure you can meet someone who is far better than this guy. Love is far from being the only thing in a relationship, and it seems to be the only thing you have for him ... no trust, no respect, no caring.

    I wish you see this as if not in your own shoes, this will consume you, making you a slave and without self esteem. Please get out of this pattern you let yourself sink into. Even if it needs a good hard cry, cut your losses, not mch of a loss in retrospect.
     
  10. backcheck64

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    Don't make me drive down there and kick your Buggy ass. Wake up dear. Once a cheater....... I know you're in love with him, but is sure seems one sided. I personally would ditch the guy....or worse.
     
  11. Maverick

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    Luvbug, you know what I think and feel. As you know, that four letter word throws shit into corkscrews and loops, and most people aren't strapped in properly to handle the "love" coaster.

    Quit settling for whats convenient. Guys are fucking douchebags, and most see a woman who is vulnerable and will be the nicest mother on earth, until they get what they want. Then it's "I love you" this and all the bull crap, and they start fucking around. Then you find out, feel like shit because you trusted everything to this POS in your time of vulnerability, and you are way worse off then if you had stayed single and just been having fun.

    Keep your chin up. You are a wonderful, funny, and witty person (I'm not flirting and if anyone thinks I am, fuck you) and any man who is worth two shits in a salt shaker is lucky to be able to call you girlfriend or wife. Everyone else is not on your level, and don't waste time with them.
     
  12. hornyscot

    hornyscot New Member

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    This guy doesn't love or respect you. He is using you and playing with your heart and head, dump him before its too late. I truly hope you find someone who deserves your love and trust.
     
  13. Untamed

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    OMG! that is so flirting! preposterous! jokes.
     
  14. Maverick

    Maverick Member

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    :lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:eyes:eyes:lol:lol:lol:lol
     
  15. almostthere

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    I agree with pbs. F him
     
  16. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    i think you know what the general response is. the balls in your court.
     
  17. lbushwalker

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    Fuck him and then forget him is all.
    That's not bad coming from a big bad arse dude who did the same until he came upon a super strong bitch woman.
     
  18. luvbug

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    Thanks yall. I appreciate all the feedback.

    I know I need to dump his cheating ass.....I know it would be better for me...that I deserve better.

    Its just getting my heart to agree. Love sucks ass big time!!

    Now to get the courage to do what needs to be done. *sighs*
     
  19. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Oh love, I'm so sorry you're going through this xx
     
  20. PhX_AZ_SWM_1972

    PhX_AZ_SWM_1972 New Member

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    My "sage advice" which is really just my opinion. Take it or call it bullshit.... it's just this guy's opinion.....

    First, dump this dude. Not all guys are douche bags, but this guys sounds like one and he is manipulating you, pure and simple. Why he is doing that, only he can answer, but does it matter? It's clear it is hurting you. IMHO, it sounds like to him, you're just a notch on his headboard. Why put up with that? That is a shitty thing to do to someone. It's one thing to have casual sex...as long as no one is getting hurt! When one person is getting attached and the other knows it but continues to manipulate the situation for their own gain, that is a shitty thing to do.

    Second, if a relationship is what you are seeking, find someone in your area. Sad but true, long distance relationships don't work. Ever. I don't care what anyone says. People need to be with people physically, as much as emotionally.

    Third, accept the fact that it is OK to be alone for a while. Seriously. You need time to yourself, and get your head on straight so to speak, heal, and learn to be happy again. Maybe just go out with some female or platonic male friends for a while, and just have a good time together. Or get a hobby where you can make friends and hang out and socialize. When you are wounded emotionally and haven't had your down time to get over a break up, and jump into a relationship (especially with the EX! Exes should stay exes, BTW! you dumped them once for a reason!), it rarely ends up good for you.