he cannot make me cum, although he tries hard

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by paragon, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    hello, I am 49 now (so somehow experienced), and with a new boyfriend. he is very sweet, does everything to please me in live and tries so in bed as well. I have never had any problems to orgasm during intercourse with my former partners before (were only 4). With him it is a real challenge. His penis is pretty much curved, pointing to his tummy (maybe this plays a role???)
    I can cum whenever I am on top and do what I know does the trick for me, but in all but one other positions it is just not possible. There is one, where we are lying next to each other ..... (hard to describe). But this does only work, when I am on the right side, left does not work. To make a long story short. He is really unhappy with the situation although I told him often enough that it does not matter to me, because there are so many times I can orgasm, by him fingering me, me on top, etc. But still, he wants to improve things trying all the positions that come into his mind. Has anybody got similar experiences male or female? Could you pleae help with some advice? I'd be very grateful. Thanks an awful lot. ((-: :bow
    paragon
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Hi Paragon,
    It would seem that the shape and direction of his erect penis causes to miss hitting your G spot at the right moment. This is why you come when you are on top and can adjust the angle which feels just right. I am a bit like your guy but also pointing a bit to the left.
    With one of my long term partner found one position which never failed.
    This was the missionary but with my left leg raised over her right and the other between her two legs. Hard to describe but picture sort of me climbing over her.
    The position allowed for direct contact to her hot spot to such an extent that she became fixated on it.
    I have tried it with other women but not found it as effective.
    Guess that we are all made a little different and need to adjust to one another's bodies.
    Good luck, I'm sure you guys will get it together once you both understand and accept that we are all individuals.
     
  3. evman

    evman New Member

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    Just keep trying to reassure him that it's ok. Maybe he feels that he is letting you down in some way. My wife can cum through intercourse but she tells me her favorite way to cum is thru oral which is the way I make her cum the majority of the time. As a guy I wouldn't see a problem if I couldn't make my partner reach orgasm in a certain way. After all, we are all wired differently.

    Be patient with him and make sure he knows that when you do cum it feels great whichever way you do it.

    Good luck
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I have rarely made women come through intercourse, and I am particularly well endowed so I should have an advantage. I think my issue is the glans of my penis is small compared to my shaft, like a lot of men with a lot of girth, and therefore I don't stimulate g-spots well. It doesn't worry me as my oral sex and other skills make up for it.

    Beyond that, and I've had a lot of partners, very few women come from intercourse, so I feel that you are an exception. Maybe if you'd had more partners, you'd realise how exceptional your past sex life has been.
     
  5. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    thanks a lot guys, for your encouragement, advice and sharing your experience. I will keep reassuring him and telling him how much I enjoy every single minute with him, with or without orgasm. He is really wonderful, caring and attentive and I love all the little things he does to please me (not talking sex). By all means I want to give him the impression that he is special and that I am feeling very much at ease with him.
    to cbrmale: Only now, that I am reading a lot about other peoples sexual experiences, do I realize what you have mentioned. I was very lucky this far. But now there is another time and I think faith has put me on this route in order to learn something. I am very curious.
    Again thanks to you all.
    Here's a question: are you guys all living "down-under"? I am from Europe!
    have a good time and take care. :):):)
    paragon
     
  6. lbushwalker

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    Hi Paragon,
    Only speaking for myself here;
    You bet I'm from Down Under where the Clap is like Thunder!
    Aussie, Aussie Aussie....Oi, Oi, Oi !!!
     
  7. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    Try different positions. The crab is a good one for making a girl orgasm, or doggie style.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    Paragon,
    There are a few of us from Australia, but in many ways I feel European at heart (I don't like the Australian obsession with sport, nor the way the traditional Australian larrikin has degenerated into a selfish anti-social boofhead). I fit in better in most European countries, especially France.

    Which part of Europe are you from?
     
  9. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    thanks for your replies according to your location. I am from Germany if anybody out there would know where it is. For the rest of you, never mind: Right in the middle of Europe with a coast in the north. Capital is Berlin. Borders with: Liechtenstein, France, Switzerland, Austria, Tchech Republic, Poland, Denmark, Netherlands, Belgium.
    l8er g8ors :)
     
  10. Joe

    Joe
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    I don't think I've given many women orgasms from intercourse unless they're on top either, and those that have had orgasms from missionary position haven't had it happen too regularly. There is one form of missionary where I mount higher up, keep junior inserted and just sort of rock back and forth. It takes a little work from both, but it often results in an orgasm for her, and when we have simultaneous orgasms it's from that position. (The object is to stay in contact with her clitoris.)
     
  11. Barbwire

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    Joe, isn't that a form of CAT sex? I read up on that a while back and we tried it, but still couldn't get me to orgasm. :(
     
  12. igor

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    Yeah - that's CAT as I understand it. Never worked for us either.
     
  13. paragon

    paragon New Member

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    Hi Joe,
    sounds interesting and promising. I think we could give it a try.
    Cowboy-Lover and Igor:
    Read up on "CAT-SEX", had never heard this expression before. So I do know now, what we are talking about. Hope it works. If not - there are so many other possibilities.....
    Thanks big time.:)
    Take care
    Paragon
     
  14. cbrmale

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    CAT = coital alignment technique. I've tried it a few times but no success.
     
  15. missyhuggins

    missyhuggins New Member

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    The key to the CAT is the woman knowing how to do it. ;)

    I don't bother with letting him have a go in that position, I grab his arse, drag him up my body and fuck him from the underneath. The only shitty thing about it that because his weight is on you and you've got your legs spread, you may get thigh cramps which ruins the whole thing because you have to stop and wiggle about to get rid of it. :p
    My partner and previous sexual partners have all gone "Ohhhhhh, what's that, that's GREEEEEAT!" when I've pulled that one out. So it's just as good for them as it is for me.
    It's how I had my very first orgasm during intercourse at an age far younger than I was supposed to be having sex at. Discovered by accident out of frustration and I've used it ever since.