Having weird performance issues.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by confuzzled, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. confuzzled

    confuzzled New Member

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    I have been in a relationship with someone that I love more than anything for 6 months now. Before I fell in love with her I found her extremely attractive and sexy, and still do to this day.

    We began our relationship slowly and didn't rush things, and due legal purposes we ended up becoming long distance 4 months ago. For now anyway. Before this happened we had sex for the first time, I lost my virginity to her. I obviously didn't last long.

    My problems are when we see each other (usually a full week out of each month) I either end up not lasting long at all (minutes) or I end up not finishing at all and start to lose my erection after 20 minutes or so.

    This has obviously created some issues between us, but we love each other and I'm seeking advice and help to resolve this.

    I'm 23
    Shes 25



    Just looking to see if anyone has advice.
    I'm thinking maybe I should see a doc. I just don't feel these issues together are normal.

    Thank you.
     
    #1 confuzzled, Apr 1, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2012
  2. KindDiscoGirl

    KindDiscoGirl New Member

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    I have no real advice except see a doc when you can. It doesn't sound like most early twenties men.

    Best of luck for a quick fix!
     
  3. Alwayslearningsex

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    I will gues you try so hard an put pressure on yourself. That's a sex killer.
    Try different sforms of sex, oral, manual, different things. Just enjoy and let go, orgasm whenever you do, let time do things for you, and if you both are at ease in without pressure things SHOULD get better. If not you are wise to see a doctor for help. I have had similar problem around your age trying too hard to please, it messed thing up all right.
    Also during the play if you lose your erection try she play with you to get you hard again. Be open and explain if you try too hard, help ease the tension. It should pay off if she is sensible. Also there will be days when things just won't happen for different factors, like tired, stressed, etc.
    Sucks but a guy's sex can be more finicky than we think.
     
  4. 12barblues

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    sounds like your putting pressure on yourself and thats always bad for a guy...maybe try and simply stay away from intercourse for a bit? learn each others bodies a little more? spend time pleasing each other in other ways and take the "performance " pressure off of yourself...? just a thought...
     
  5. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

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    I agree with the other comments about putting too much stress on yourself. And...I think it's completely normal to not last very long when you've been separated for awhile.

    Take your time and don't rush things. Learn about her body and share with her the beauty you discover and love about it. Be willing to try new things without worrying about how it will best end. Best wishes.
     
  6. almostthere

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    I agree with12bb and others. If I think about sex with my lady all day and how it be,how long I want to last, I finish fast. When we have a spontaneous romp I can finish when I want. Moral? All in your head.
     
  7. Alwayslearningsex

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    A twist to your moral: The big head affects the little one :lol
     
  8. Som

    Som New Member

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    Just relax there and enjoy it. Stressing about it kills me and my husband alike. It does all of us.

    I was stressed about business for a long time and it took it's toll on my sex life for a while. Just letting go of the problems soon made things better.

    Hope it all works out.
     
  9. China

    China New Member

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    Many if not most men cum pretty quickly, so dont worry about it. Give her her orgasm(s) either by oral or by using toys (before and after,if she wants). You however dont need to set orgasm as a goal, something that must be achieved at all cost.
    Just relax and enjoy the sex.
     
  10. princedominic

    princedominic New Member

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    Order a free sample of Endurnz and see if that helps