Having trouble keeping it hard

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by OriginalBigGuy, Feb 8, 2007.

  1. OriginalBigGuy

    OriginalBigGuy New Member

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    I realize this post is for the middle aged & older generation. I am having trouble keeping my cock hard enough to engage in vaginal penetration. When my wife gives me a blow job, my cock gets hard and stays fairly hard, but not to the point where either of us can enjoy sexual intercourse. I have been searching the web for ideas of what we could do to make things better, when I decided....what better place to ask for help than this site that focuses on sex. Any help, ideas, or suggestions are greatly appreciated. BTW, I've tried Viagra, not sure it works for me.
     
  2. issiewantsto

    issiewantsto New Member

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    There is a book in my city's library, something like "sex with an older man," that has explanations and exercises; for example, if the man stands, his blood flow increases, and the erection lasts longer. Things like getting enough rest and exercise also help.
     
  3. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Moved to "Sexual Techniques" forum.
     
  4. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Try one of the other pills
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Be sure to try positions that don't require much other muscle use. The classic missionary requires supporting your upper body on your elbows, causing you to use extra resources. Try getting her butt on a pillow so you can support yourself with your knees. That gives me a great deal more staying power. Doggy is good to, but just not as intimate, I'd personally rather be face to face. Find some articles on positions and see what looks good. I have some helpful pix somewhere, so I'll try to find them and post them here.
    As for Viagra and Cialis(long duration), they are wonderful things. Be sure to have a completely empty stomach when you take them, or it's a complete waste.
     
  6. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    There are allot of physical and emotional reasons why you are not able to stay hard.

    If you use any drugs (prescription or otherwise) and / or alcohol it can have a significant impact on how hard you get. Also physical issues such as back injury, kidney, prostrate problems, heart problems, or vascular issues that have been diagnosed by a physician can also impact your ability in maintaining an erection. Your first step should be to see your family doctor.

    After you have seen your family doctor and have discussed the issue with them. If the issue has not being resolved I would look at lifestyle issues such as stress, tiredness, pressures at home, pressure on the job, relationship issues, and anything that could be 'blocking' you from enjoying sex. In no way am I saying see a quack shrink. Instead I am saying talk it out with your partner and work at developing a greater level of intamcy with her.

    Erectile Dysfunction is nothing to get upset about and it is experienced by many men at some point in their lives. It may go away in time but if it is causing concern like it is now it is worth the time to get it investigated.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    As a man who has partial ED as the after-effects of a serious illness, I may be able to help.

    Physical problems are usually the cause, and ED is the symptom. At 55, you should be able to have an erection, so something is wrong. Get a full check-up: cholesterol, HDL, LDL, fasting blood sugar and so on to see what the problem may be. Things like diabetes if not treated, will only get worse. So while ED therapies treat the symptom, the cause can ravage your body.

    If you are not overweight and don't have diabetes or high blood pressure or anything else, and you exercise regularly, then you can think about ED therapies. Everyone knows about viagra, not that great, doesn't work well after food or drink, gives more side-effects. Cialis is great, not affected by food or drink. It has a half-life of 36 hours, which means it builds up in your body if you take it three or so times a week. It comes 20mg or 10mg, value for money is to cut the 20 into half and take half a tablet every three days and you should be able to have sex on demand after a week or two. If not half, and a whole tablet and see how it goes. Levitra is very powerful, is not affected by food or drink, must be taken an hour or so before sex. Levitra cannot be cut into two and the other half stored for later use.

    Caverject injection was the first on the market, hard to use but very effective if everything else fails. Do not feel squeamish about injecting yourself, if you do it slowly it is no more painful than someone lightly pinching the skin on the side of your penis. I use caverject these days, and it works when all others don't.

    First up, get a full check-up, and then look at which drugs you prefer, my recommendation being Cialis as long as you take it regularly for two weeks or so to allow it to build up in your body for maximum effect.
     
  8. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Cbrmale's advice is perfect, if you haven't had the tests and checks, go for them!!!

    I went through a similar stage last year and used Cialis, but only when I needed to, I didn't know about the 'build up' usage, but they worked well enough to help and with less side effects than Viagra.

    If it's prostate, try nettle root capsules, I tried lots of other odds and ends, but they seem to work (for me).
    But as with all things it's best to have a health check and PSA test included with the blood test, plus a prostate inspection.
     
  9. GentleManSteve

    GentleManSteve New Member

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    Get a cock ring! It will hold the blood in the penis until you take it off and it makes the penis harder. you want a sturdy cock ring. I can tell you how to make your own if you like and tell you how to use it safely.

    Just PM me if you want to know how to make your own.
     
  10. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Also another thing that may help is eating certain foods that help with this problem, it may not be enough on its own but it cant hurt to try it.

    Heres a short list of foods
    Good ones to eat plenty of

    Seafood ( especailly shell fish )
    Offal
    lean beef
    foods rich in zinc

    Foods an other things to stay clear of
    Alcohol
    Coffee
    tea
    cola drinks
    smoking

    Hope this helps .
     
  11. doberman

    doberman New Member

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    jwhenever i eat horse, lamb or SUSHI, i get so hard it hurts.. if its for foods!

    but i am only half the age, dont really worry about getting hard as i refer to my libido as out-of-earth..
     
  12. cbrmale

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    As Steve pointed out cock rings are good, but only if you can get hard enough to trap the blood that caused the erection. I use a cock ring after taking my medication, and it makes my erection reliable enough to last the distance.
     
  13. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    (( Is wondering why i am not alowed to edit or delete my own posts ? ))

    Anyways again im sorry for double posting but im not able to edit my post at all.

    Well theres no harm trying the foods i said, as they are from a specialst food book, about health from foods, and you would be amazed at how certain food of all kinds can help and cure many problems of the body and mind. and also the meds and Rings and pills...either ot these or all together you may end up harder than a teen in hue heffs backgarden :p

    I suffered from impotence from the age of 23 to 27 ( not so usual for a younger guy, but it does happen), and it made me feel like S**t, lost my relationship over it as well.

    I think mine was more mental than anything else.

    I even went as far as going to a clinic in london ( a specialist, they wanted £1,200 of me for their treatments, i was desperate, but could not afford that.
    Problems of this kind i think should be treated free of charge, and the goverments should foot the bill.
    ( Didnt mean to babble on lmao )

    By the ways have you been to see a genral practitioner about this ?
    They can do tests to check if its a phys thing. I wish i could say things that would be more imformative , and that would be more constructive for you..
     
  14. cbrmale

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    Kronnie,
    Psychological ED is the hardest to treat. If you think your gonna fail, you stress about it, and you will! This is where the injections work best because they don't need sexual arousal to work. In your case, the treatment should have been two-pronged, injectable for your current sex life and psychological assistance as to why you weren't able to perform. But there is no doubt that ten years ago for a minimal cost, someone should have written you a script for Caverject to get you out of the hole and save your relationship.
     
  15. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    I wish back then i had known about that...But for me back then i was very embarressed about not being able to sustain an erection, and i found it nearly impossible to ask for help, but thankyou for your advice cbrmale, if only someone like you had been around to give that info back then.
    I think the gp i went to see must have been a poor one as he did a test and said my testosterone was above average an there was nothing he could do for me..
    Im thinking that maybe these days its not such a tabo subject.


    And thankfully i have recovered from that problem now, and no longer feel shy or embarresssed.
    The love and support of a wonderful female friend helped me a lot.
     
  16. cbrmale

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    Kronnie,
    I am sorry about what happened to you, and I am glad you have recovered with a good friend. Some women are great at giving us men the confidence we need.

    In the meantime, if anyone else has similar problems and reads this thread, they now know what to ask their doctor for!
     
  17. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    The Psychological side of sex is so true, something I battle with everyday! I have been married 30 years and our sex life has always been great until and up to a few years ago. I am a ass and flat stomach kind of guy, I love the nice round ass, and combined with a flat stomach just puts me into orbit. My wife started putting on weight some 2 years ago and today she has added like 30-40 #'s. Her ass is sagging and the stomach when sitting down actually has two rolls! When she stands the stomach almost hangs to her croch, Man! it just grosses me out! I have tried being nice she has put on a lot of weight, and her reply: hey I'm getting old, this is how a 50 year old should look! What the hell. I have suggested work out equipment like treadmill, I guess I will just have to buy something and say here you go, let's get into shape! haha. When they talk about the mid life crisis, believe me, it's true! I want some young stuff! I have never gone out on my wife, but am seriously considering it. There is a younger girl I work with that may come close to this happening. I know, call me all the names you want, but is an affair only for sex so bad? I would never give up my marrige for anything. I'm so screwed up, lol.
     
  18. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    I'd put her out to grass on a hillside Jaguar until she loses some pounds LOL.

    Mrs E is fast approaching 60 and still looks good, a little podgy tum maybe, but nothing else out of place and the boobs are still in good shape! OK, lucky me.

    As for 'Cock rings' I'd like to say I tried a couple a few times, but made the fatal mistake of having an orgasm with one on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I burst a blood vessel and would never use one ever again!!!

    And it was damn painful!!!!!
     
  19. SexyScorp

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    OMG.....

    Are you guys for real?

    How could you talk about your wives that way, as though they were one of your possessions....and you want them to look like a Stepford Wife

    How would you like it if they were on forums slagging the way you looked...oh his belly is a bit fat and he is getting grey hair and wrinkles...

    and

    "I have met this young guy at work and I am thinking of getting it on with him..."

    Have you any idea what the word LOVE means?

    Uuuughhh!!!
     
  20. SexyScorp

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    p.s.

    and I supppose jaguar you are absolutely gorgeous....haha!