having a much older partner

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by katy, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. katy

    katy New Member

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    Do you guys it's ok if I have a much older partner ? Cause I'm 19 and my boyfriend right now he's like 34. Do you think this could work or he's just in it for sex ?
     
  2. doberman

    doberman New Member

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    when i was your age, i only met older woman, like from their late twenties on.. last year i went out with two girls about twenty years old. i then remembered why that was.. it was a fun night, one of the chicks rubbing her vagina on my leg the whole night, kissing my neck, ears, even tried to shove her tongue down my throat, but i didnt let her.. she must have been sore by the end of the night.. i would have been in for the both of them, but after like six o'clock, i wanted 1.) go home, or 2.) get laid.. they kept on dancing, so i just fucked off, leaving them to themselves..

    i personally think the guy is just in for fucking you. but i can only talk about myself here.. my oldest gf was ten years older..

    as with everything in life, its up to you to decide.. if you like, or even love, him, age shouldnt matter.. just dont make a fool of yourself by thinking something that isnt..
     
  3. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    I have a few friends who are into older men. Most of my friends are 18 -20 years old and date men into their 30's and late 20's and some even have kids/wives/and/or are divorced. :X I don't see much of a problem... sometimes.. it really depends. Age doesn't matter (sometimes :lol ). Its the person who you are dating that matters. We have no clue what the person you are dating is like so our judgment will be irreverent to the topic.
     
  4. katy

    katy New Member

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    Well I don't really know if he's only been in for sex. When I ask him, he tells me that he really loves me. I know he asked me to have sex with him soon.

    I told him I was alright with it and that I'll do it with him. But I just want to make sure he's not just only with me to get into my pants. But I think I won't know that unless I do it with him right ?
     
  5. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    Be clever about it then. Honestly, test him. :D Make up stuff to test him if you have to. Tell him you don't think you will be interested in sex for at least 2 more years and see how he replies. If he loves you that won't bother him. That's just one example.
     
  6. NaughtyKnickers

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    If he loves you he will wait until you're comfortable doing it. :)
     
  7. katy

    katy New Member

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    The thing is I don't know if I'm comfortable right now. I mean how do you know that ? I am a bit scared since it is new for me.
     
  8. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    Tell him you're uncomfortable with it. And he will respect that and take things slowly (if he truly loves you and not just sex). You will know when the time is right when you are comfortable. Until then don't be pressured into it. You come first. Not his needs.
     
  9. katy

    katy New Member

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    Yeah but at the same time I'm really sorta horny you know. I want it also. But I know it doesn't make sense but I got an issue with his thing. Cause he's rather big and I'm scared it will hurt you know. Maybe he's not this big but he's like my first boyfriend so I got no other comparaison.
     
  10. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    If you feel uncomfatable with having sex with this guy, then maybe that in its self teels you you should wait..

    Personaly for me if i was dating a younger female , that wasnt sure i would be quite happy with waiting, because if i loved her and wanted to be with her , then just having her close would be ample for me, close as in cuddles hugs and kissing..
    Just my view on it.
    And i agree with Misa & Naughtyknickers.
    Test him out. Dont rush in just because he wants you to.
     
  11. NaughtyKnickers

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    Are you unsure whether you're ready to have sex, or are you unsure you trust him with such an important part of your life?

    My opinion is that having sex with someone much older than you can be a very good thing, but he should have your confidence before you put your body in his hands.

    Be honest with yourself. If you're going to give him your body, be sure you're doing it for the right reasons. ;)
     
  12. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    Yeah. Hm... then have oral sex or something slow and no actual penetration until you think you're ready. Its mostly what I can suggest since I don't know much myself. :p There are sex toys you can buy for yourself to sooth away that horny feeling and help practice with to make you feel more comfortable with the real thing, I guess!
     
  13. katy

    katy New Member

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    Are you unsure whether you're ready to have sex, or are you unsure you trust him with such an important part of your life?

    Actually, it's kinda both.

    I'm scared a bit of sex and at the same time, I don't know if he's gonna go at my pace or pressure me into things, things like that. I don't trust him at 100 % yet, no.
     
  14. NaughtyKnickers

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    DON'T - DON'T - DON'T get pressured into it! Especially if it's your first time! :eek

    Your first time is likely to be tense and a little scary to begin with, you need to be sure the man who takes your virginity is trustworthy!

    Please please PLEASE don't do that to yourself. :(
    I don't get strongly opinionated on this forum a whole lot, but this issue is worth CAPS for ;)

    A man should ALWAYS respect a woman's pace with regard to sex. ESPECIALLY when it's her first time, and ESPECIALLY when she's much younger than him!

    Be clear and honest with him, so that he knows where you stand and realizes that you need more time.

    Having sex for the wrong reasons can be a pretty messy gamble. :ugh
     
  15. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    Yeah. ^ Agreed. If he doesn't respect you, he isn't worth the time. So YOU set the pace. :) And if you feel uncomfortable about things, tell him. If he disregards your comments and disrespects you, he isn't worth the time and I wouldn't trust him.

    Set the pace. Remember, its about you and how you feel and not what his needs are and being pressured to satisfy them.

    Take things as slow as you want them. Don't rush into sex. I have heard many women tell me how they regret that.
     
  16. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Katy
    I am not even going to bother reading the other peoples
    replies on this.
    Your 19, He is 34 And no doubt He has been married and
    divorced, Am I right so far?
    Certainly He knows how to push the buttons to
    make you love him.
    And most certainly he is thrilled to find a 19 year old Woman.
    But don't go for it Babe, Sure your Guys your age are more timid and don't know to push the right buttons now (but the will) And they in time will be as good as the older guy And they will love you a lot more as the
    older Guy just wanting some young ass.
    When you are 35 and in the prime of your sexual life He will
    be over the hill.

    Hiker:sf
     
    #16 bighiker2003, Feb 9, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2007
  17. katy

    katy New Member

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    Well he hasn't been married, no. But he had been in other relationships though, of course.
     
  18. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    No offence hiker , but not all guys are how you percive them to be.

    Sometimes younger guys go with older women, and end up marrying them for life and love, it happens the same the other way around as well, age gaps in love and relationships can and do work , but as in all relationships not all succed.

    In every rule in life there are exceptions. Thats what makes life fun, because there are no garentees in life , except for one ( and maybe even that one will change in time )

    Like i said no offence intended we are all allowed our opinions.
     
  19. cbrmale

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    The first time I had sex it was a woman who was about ten years older than me, a great first time.

    Everyone here is dumping on this poor girl and giving advice like waiting 2 years (?). Even if I loved someone truly, madly and deeply, I'd be out the door, regardless of age difference. Just what does that prove?

    If the girl thinks the time is right, then she's probably going to have a better first time than more than half (maybe more than three-quarters) of the women in this forum.

    As for the age differences, yes there are young women who are genuinely mature and confident and attractive and there are men who are attracted to the woman, not the age difference.
     
  20. Misa

    Misa New Member

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    Untrue. I (as well as NaughtyKnickers- who gave good tips too), saying age didn't matter and because we knew not of his personality then we could not judge him in any manner. We are being helpful and giving her our opinion as she requested. We're just trying to help her. Read posts better, please.

    I didn't mean to actually WAIT the 2 years. It was just something for her to say to test him as an example of what I meant when I said test him to see if he is actually loyal and Loves her as he said he does. She could do whatever she pleases, but I gave an example to help her. Once again read posts better, please.

    But the point is she doesn't feel entirely comfortable yet nor does she truly trust him just yet, as seen obvious in her posts as she questions whether he might be using her or if he is actually in Love with her.


    :p reading comprehension problems anyone?