[Ask a Girl] Have you ever recovered from not wanting sex with your SO?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Foreverhers, May 22, 2012.

  1. Foreverhers

    Foreverhers New Member

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    That's basically it. My SO loves me madly, she just has zero attraction to me. She wants to want me, just says she doesnt. She's also recently confessed that she is bisexual and feels she can't live without women. She wants to want me again? Is this possible? Any advice?
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Nope; move on dude and let her get back to what is her prime attraction as you are just a distraction.
    She is probably more gay than bi-sexual, remain her friend if you want but for the rest; chalk it up to experience.
     
  3. 12barblues

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    wow...well for me , part of the definition of love between "lovers"( not a brotherly/ sisterly love kinda thing) is a physical attraction....if she doesnt have THAT...then how can she say she loves you? i'm a bit confused here, i think we need a little more info about your situation tho...
     
  4. Foreverhers

    Foreverhers New Member

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    we had a strong sex life for almost two years. she had cheated before with a gf of hers. She's given me permission to cheat as she feels bad for not wanting sex. I'm not a cheater. We have 5 kids that look to us as mom and dad. She tried anal on me before and i loved that full body long orgasm. She didn't like it anymore after about 20 times. Said it disgusted her, which confused me. She started it. That might be a reason. The wedding date aproaching might make her feel like she's about to lose her chance at being with women. I really want to save this, but the more i talk about it on these forums the clearer things get. This really sucks.
     
  5. Meee

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    How soon is the wedding?

    What is the relationship of the 5 children to you and her? How old are the children?

    How old are you? How old is she?
     
  6. lbushwalker

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    Oh dude, you contemplating marriage with somebody who no longer wants sex with you and happy for you to get it elsewhere?
    Open your eyes before it is too late!
    Talk about love being blind :eyes
     
  7. 12barblues

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    if youre young then maybe a little break is needed? maybe she just needs to find out about herself?...i really dont know...i wish you luck..
     
  8. yuyo

    yuyo New Member

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    Dude I'm sorry to hear that. But sometimes us men need a good old bitchslap to wake up.

    Here I go:
    I have read most of your past post. You are behaving like a weak whiny bitch. You need to grow a pair and tell her what YOU believe is acceptable to you and what is not.

    I had a similar experience and suffer deeply for that. That woman dont love you, dont care about you or your feelings, and its not becuse she necessarily is a bad person, its just that she doesnt feel love or atraction to you anymore. Stop acting like a pussy to her. Woman test men all the time (even unconciusly) by acting like that and you have failed by being weak and not being the strong man that she probably want you to be.

    That she want to want yo but cant is bullshit, learn to see beyond words. A woman that loves you will want to be all over you most of the time.

    I know that when you are blindy in love its hard to let it go, even you preffer to be with someone who give you only a little when you give it all just to keep her, but trust me, its not worth it.

    I even imagine that of the 5 kids, all of them are hers. Or am I wrong?
     
  9. Foreverhers

    Foreverhers New Member

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    The wedding was August 11. It's now postponed. Four girls are hers 3 year old twins, 9 & 13. I have a 6 year old son. I'm 36, she's 31. We've known each other for 25 years.
     
  10. Meow181

    Meow181 Active Member

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    My hearts bleeds for you but I feel postponing the wedding is a wise decision... she had a child at 18 shes been very busy and still is being a Mum and SO to you... she hasnt lived hence her self-doubt of love/desire for you.... she needs to spread her wings... maybe you need to let her fly...

    Got you in my warm fuzzy thoughts Babe.. hang in there
     
  11. Foreverhers

    Foreverhers New Member

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    In the last couple days I've realized I can't marry her for the reasons in this post and others. She is who she is and she's changed. I can't change that. I started changing myself. I've been working out for a month and started running, jamming with my old band, and painting. I'm making new friends and having new experiences and I'm just going to keep that going. I swear a switch flipped in me yesterday and it was as soon as I realized I can't marry her. That's thanks to this forum. I used to be strong and confident. I still am if I take her out of the equation. She's getting nervous and asking if I'm preparing for a break up. I've told her I'm doing what I previously mentioned to regain my strength and if she leaves, she leaves. Nothing I can do about that. I'll deal with the aftermath when it's here. I basically found my balls and detached my happiness from her affections.
     
  12. Foreverhers

    Foreverhers New Member

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    The thing is I'm a business owner and have the luxury of spending time at home with the kids and I've really picked up the pace on pulling my weight around the house as well as providing for everyone. I don't doubt her love for me. I think she's just very confused and knows what a good father I am and how much we all love each other. I think she's afraid to lose that. I make a great provider and caregiver but I'm not gonna marry her if that's all I am to her.
     
  13. Meow181

    Meow181 Active Member

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    We all change... no one can change anyone.. only WE can change ourselves...Im 49 in July and Im not the same person I was 5 years ago..
    Great move... yes you too need to live.. we all have the gift of life but do we know how to live?... Self-reflection is a power action, well done for remebering where to find your reflection ;) its doesnt look to bad does it now ? ;)

    Balls come in handy.... theyve always been there they probabely were abit pussy whipped perhaps ;) Nothing for you to detach from... cant detach from what isnt there.... youve got a long history maybe its the best to be great friends in preference to a bitter seperated couple.. kids dont need that... youve got a lot of life still get out there unload your balls often and go live ;)

    Good luck
     
  14. Foreverhers

    Foreverhers New Member

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    Thanks
     
  15. arugula

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    "I make a great provider and caregiver but I'm not gonna marry her if that's all I am to her."

    Women's panties don't get wet for providers...they are physically attracted to alpha characteristics.
     
  16. CurvedUp

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    Run hard and fast. It is over

    Here is the funny to this story.
    Sex was far and few times in the last year. But when we would make love, she would say, "why don't we do this more, I do like it?". Yes it does.

    Even after sex being good for her, when she decide she wanted out…

    after 20 years of being married and her deciding for years she was done and then leaving me for another guy, it took my dad being in the hospital have a quadrupedal bye pass to snap me into knowing the lack of intimate sex and marriage was over as I knew it.

    Over the last six years have worked out for the best for me. Here is the funny, I fall in love with the woman I want to live my life with a some time after we separated. I was able to stay connected to the wife's family and the former wife. It was a bit uncomfortable, but she met L at a garage sale and said, she is adorable. That was a head shaking experience. It was all for me to keep from dropping to the ground.

    Not something I would have said about who she left me for. But we get along and he did me a favor. I did not know that then.