Have you ever been so sexually frustrated...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Ladysierra, Mar 10, 2008.

  1. Ladysierra

    Ladysierra New Member

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    That you vision smothering your SO with a pillow or maybe ripping off his cock and shoving it down his throat? :eek:

    Ok, I admit at the moment I have issues. But I think those issues are justified.

    This last weekend (a weekend I have been waiting for for the last two weeks) my son went to his father's and that left hubby and me home alone. Yes! That usually means watching porn all night long, curled up on the sofa bed having tons of freaky weekend alone sex. Hahaha. It's like a holiday for me! My son, for some reason or another hasn't gone to his dad's house in like three weeks (usually goes every other weekend). So I'm pretty wound up and waiting for this. Not that we don't have sex when it's not weekend alone time, but I love it when we can have sex throughout the entire house and walk around naked and that kind of shit.

    Anyway, before I knew it, it's friday. I'm all excited at work, can't wait to get home and can actually feel myself starting to get wet just thinking about what we'd do first. Ok, so it's 8:30pm and I'm just getting home. We were both hungry so we throw on a pizza quick I change to a sweatshirt and just a thong so I'm ready without freezing LOL.

    Well after pizza he pulls me on his lap facing him and I start to do some grinding. We're both having a good time (truthfully, if I'm not already halfway there the grinding like that doesn't do much for me but I know he loves it so I go with it). Next thing I know he has his pants down and my thong pulled to the side and he's inside me. Mind you I'm only just starting to warm up so I'm not fully lubed up yet. While there was some discomfort it wasn't anything horrible, I could handle it. Well about ten minutes in I realize that's about as warmed up as I was going to get. I hadn't even left the gate yet and he was inching closer to the finish line. So I got off and let him finish doggy like he loves to do.

    I'm severely dissapointed, but ok, I can deal with it. He has to get up for work at 3:30am so I understand. There's always saturday night.

    On saturday I get home from work a little earlier (hours after he did). I'm slightly cranky from the night before, but not too bad. I'm not ready to rip out anyone's throat yet. Hahaha. I strip down to my fave sweatshirt and this time skipped the thong. Didn't want to leave anything to chance Hahaha.

    Guess what happened?! Not a damn thing!! :mad He fell asleep on the couch at 8pm and didn't wake up till near midnight. By then I was too tired and just steaming from another night of no orgasm. So he goes up to bed shortly after midnight and I stay downstairs. Fuck him, I had a little fun by myself, while watching tv (too ticked off to sleep). I do love masturbating and I love my vibes, but nothing compares to what I feel when I make love (or just have hot monkey sex) with my husband. It's always so much more intense and fullfilling.

    Ok, so now we're on sunday and I figure I'll get some morning sex which isn't off the wall either if something flubs up saturday night. I shot that one in the ass. Because it was after 2am when I went to bed I slept in till a little after 11 Hahaha. I go downstairs and he's on the computer playing one of his soccer games I think. So I settle in to watch a movie. The next thing I know he goes up stairs and doesn't come back down. Well it's getting later and we have to go feed the horses so I go up there and what do I find? He's laying across the bed sleeping with the nascar race on the tv. GRRRRRR! I went and fed the horses by myself (no big deal they are my horses after all) But that was it, my chance at freaky weekend alone sex was completely gone. My son was going to be home in a couple hours (no set time but usually by 4pm) and I had to get supper started yet.

    On sunday night I waited till he was in bed for about an hour to make sure he was asleep when I got up there. I was really pissed and didn't want to talk to him (he asked me what was wrong earlier so he knew I was angry and crabby from not getting any). Well he did wake up and it wasn't long before I had a hand between my legs working my clit. I was really starting to enjoy myself when he suddenly went still. And then I could hear his breathing even out and get deeper. Dammit again! He fucking fell asleep!!! :eek I rolled over and went to sleep. He tried putting an arm around me but I threw it off.

    Tonight, monday night, I get home from work still very pissed but willing to let it go if it meant I'd get some LOL. He tells me he's going to bed and asks if I'm coming (always means I'll get some) well I didn't want to seem too eager so I said yeah in a bit, had to do a couple things first. I waited twenty minutes and he was still awake watching tv. So I once again find myself with a hand between my legs. Usually I will also start out reaching for his cock but I figured what the hell, he owes me a bit so I just layed there doing some soft moaning and really getting warmed up.

    Would you believe the ass fell alseep on me again?! :yell What does a woman have to do these days to get laid?! It's just insane! I'm starting to wonder what it is about me that makes it so easy for him to fall asleep like that. I understand he's tired and works hard and all, but dammit so do I and I deserve an orgasm or two occassionally!

    Sorry for the super long rant guys! But I feel a bit better getting this off my chest. As soon as I figure out how to work one of these pic uploading sites that I can use here I plan on sending some pics to the members only section ;) Might as well make some other man happy since I could give a shit how happy my husband is right now LOL.
     
  2. bsxy420

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    damn lady. kick his ass. i would suggest some oral or something to keep his attention so he will stay awake.hopefully you will get an orgasm from him soon! best of luck,.
     
  3. Bluesy

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    I don't recall ever feeling that sexually frustrated, but, yeah, sure, I've experienced it from time to time in former relationships (I've always had the higher libido). All I can say is that it is very common for a couple to experience a sexual slump...it could be that he's feeling unusually stressed or exhausted, maybe a little blue or even harboring a bit of resentment over a disagreement the two of you have had recently...it's usually a short-lived phase. Men go through periods when their libido flags (and it doesn't have anything to do with external factors, it happens naturally), just like most women experience at some point in their lives. The best I can say is try not to take it personally. Maybe try adopting an empathetic stance, ask him if everything's Ok, if there's anything he'd like to talk about. If there's something weighing on his mind, he may not even be aware of the effect it's had on his libido. Sometimes people just don't, for whatever reason, put two and two together. Sometimes people aren't even aware that something's bothering them. A little patience and understanding can go a long, long way in these situations. I suggest giving him some non-sexual affection. Touch and loving words, kind gestures, can help a couple reconnect, and sometimes that's all that's necessary for reigniting the fire, you know. Give him a massage, kiss his forehead, stroke his hair, tell him how much he means to you...believe it or not, men need that sort of attention, too ;) I bet that if you go that route, you'll find things back to normal in no time.

    Oh, and maybe, once he's relaxed and feeling sufficiently appreciated and loved, you could try seducing him. Instead of playing with yourself, create an atmosphere with some sexy lingerie, props, and a very subtle, sensual lead-in to sex. Make foreplay a real event, and make it very him-centric :brow Just a thought, at any rate.
     
  4. cbrmale

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    Bluesy's right on this one. We men sometimes get quite exhausted, and sex is a tiring thing on top of that. Sometimes we perform, but sometimes sleep is the better option.

    I usually get this tired when I'm overdue for a holiday. So when the signs come, even if I don't have the time or money for a long time away, I'll go away with my wife for a week or so and I'll be recharged for the next few months. This is me, other men will be different.

    It can be as simple as this, and it can be as simply solved too.
     
  5. velkov

    velkov New Member

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    I find that in my marriage I'm the one doing all the work if I don't initiate foreplay/sex or even just cuddling then my wife seems happy to just go to sleep, however I think in every other way she is the most perfect being on the planet which totally outweighs the first part. So your situation could well be short term but if not ask yourself did you just marry because the sex was good? if so i guess your doomed (lol) but really is it such a problem be the one keeping the spice hot? I've learned to live with it and we have sex at least 4 times a week.

    If you want it go get it, he may be tired/stresed but once he sees whats cumming he go sure wake up!!!!
     
  6. Dreama

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    Sometimes my hubby gets in moods when he is not feeling so well, or when he's preoccupied. I like to give him a massage or make him a supper or breakfast he really loves, and just let him know I'm there for him. He's usually quick to respond. Maybe try something like that? Maybe he's not feeling well, and I know how much attention us girls need at times. It is frustrating not to get things when we want them, but if we just try to put a positive spin on it, and do something nice instead of being bitchy, we can really make a difference and change our whole relationships for the better.
     
  7. velkov

    velkov New Member

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    Very true and on the flip side us guys need the same, I've heard so many women say I need I need I need well we are human too and need it too.

    This is such a great place its so good to get a womans perspective on what they want and like,(its a bit like that Mel Gibson movie) my wife has noticed I'm a bit more attentive to certain parts of her body for instance I've always thought you just suck those titties but after reading here that some women like it to be caressed and found out my wife likes that too so thanks SF I joined here to look for ways to spice things up and I'm getting resaults already!!!!
     
  8. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    She's only been back a day or two, and already making the post of the week. :cool

    So, can we have a DNA sample Bluesy? Those genes need to propagate around the planet and into both women AND men.

    BD
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    OK...let's get some DNA from sweet Dreama too! :D

    BD
     
  10. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    OK, what the above two ladies said sounds awefully good. Along similar lines of thought...you could put a positive manifestation on your current feelings of frustration...take something negative and turn it into something positive. For instance, tell him he needs to be punished, tie him down, sit on and fuck his face until you get the O's you need, then mount him and grudge-fuck him until he blasts off. Use some role playing to get your frustration out...maybe be a little rough and vent your harnessed negative energy in a sexually positive and exciting way! Just a thought...

    BD
     
    #10 BassDude, Mar 11, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2008
  11. Ladysierra

    Ladysierra New Member

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    Thanks for the replies everyone. I am a bit calmer this morning. Probably doesn't help that I've recently quit smoking and nights are my hardest time LOL. Doesn't help that I've gained about 6 pounds from quitting and am not feeling all that desirable at times so the first thing that comes to my mind is what is so wrong with me that he doesn't want me. But that feeling usually doesn't last long because he's always telling me he loves me and how beautiful I am...

    He and I have been living together for a little over four years now, but only married recently. Would you believe we have never once gotten into a fight? You can't really count the few times I've gotten crabby from not enough sex (LOL) or when I get crabby from pms because I usually just get moody and quiet and don't yell.

    I know he works very hard (this week 10 hour shifts six days) and with getting up at 3:30 am and me not getting home from work till after 8pm it doesn't leave much time before he gets super tired and can't keep his eyes open anymore but usually he can hang on for sex and not fall asleep during foreplay LOL.

    I don't usually start the fun (and he knows I don't like to and the reason for it lol) but once it's started I jump in whole heartedly. But if I get it started it turns out like friday night and I don't get one good drop of foreplay to help get me ready and lubed up. There have been a number of times where I just couldn't get into it with no foreplay other than some hard grinding and decided instead to suck him off which is something I love to do and do it as often as possible ;) He knows that I'm always ready for sex LOL. I have a high libido and could go at it couple times a day if he was up for it.

    Thanks again for letting me vent! It really helped to get it all out. And now to get my mind off my sexual frustration I'm going to go shopping with my mother LMAO. Only because I need dog food, I'm not a big shopper (sometimes my parents wondered if I was even a girl Hahaha).
     
  12. Dreama

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    Yeah, I too have a much higher libido than my hubby. I get it at least every other day, or sometimes, 5 or six times a week, but I'd probably be much more satiated if we went at it more than once a day, but it's alright. I've got myself :) . Just be understanding....You sound like an understanding lady, and a nice person to boot. I'm sure that you'll get some much needed lovin' soon! Or, I hope you do!
     
  13. Joe

    Joe
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    It sounds to me like you might need to be the aggressor more often. My late wife would often come into the bedroom after her bath and just go straight to giving me head. I loved that, and it ALWAYS ended well. We guys like to think our women want us just as much as we want them. While touching, kissing and gentle caressing is nice, for me it's the belief that she wants me that really turns me on.

    And it sounds like your hubby is just plain exhausted from so much work. I suppose I'm nearly twice his age, so I probably notice a drop in my libido quicker than he does, but for me exhaustion is a killer. It is for my wife too, to the point that we seldom have sex on days when she works (five days a week).

    And "pay backs" are the fastest way to damage a relationship.

    "I get home from work still very pissed but willing to let it go if it meant I'd get some LOL. He tells me he's going to bed and asks if I'm coming (always means I'll get some) well I didn't want to seem too eager so I said yeah in a bit, had to do a couple things first. I waited twenty minutes...."

    First, don't let yourself get "pissed" because you don't get laid. Wow! If I had that attitude I'd be pissed most of the time, and my wife would just be pissed right back at me. Secondly, don't ever get the feeling that you don't "want to seem too eager". That's an attitude that will haunt your relationship forever. It's immature and downright dangerous to a relationship.

    Good luck!
     
  14. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Absolutely agreed. Even if you partner doesn't do the "right" thing (and I'm not just talking about sex here), we still have a responsibility to do the "right" thing. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. It's an agreement to treat each other with love, respect, and kindness, and to do our best to selflessly give our partner what they need (within reason). If one party breaks the terms of a contract, then the other party isn't expected to deliver. But marriage is NOT a contract, it's a covenant...if one partner breaks the "terms" of the covenant, the other partner is still responsible to hold up their end of the deal. (Again, within reason.)

    Joe made some great points. Come in, be the aggressor and give him a blowjob, sit on his face, or whatever. But I actually see this as two-sided. In other words, treating me with kindness, respect, consideration, etc.,...just overall sweetness will make me WANT you. Coming in and pouncing on me to get things started would show me that you WANT me (which then makes me want you even more). That's the way my psyche works...admittedly, other men may be different.

    It's a nice little snowball effect, especially if you both do it that way, eh? Not everyone can do "the right thing" all the time (tired, stressed, whatever)...so, when our partners can't, then I believe we should at least try to pick up the slack. And if both partners do that, well...you can see that by lifting each other up when you need it, you'll both benefit.

    BD
     
  15. Ladysierra

    Ladysierra New Member

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    Well he redeemed himself last night. Managed to get three whole orgasms out of me LOL. He even had two orgams himself! Usually one is his limit.

    Trust me, he knows how much I want him. I make that very clear to him every single day ;)
     
  16. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Sexcellent, Siera!

    BD