Have you chosen not to have children...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Black_Magic83, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    We have, we have a good relationship and sex life.

    I know that if a child was part of our unit, it would possibly spoil the dynamics. I would be too tired, he would want sex quite frequently, I will more than likely turn him down, he may then go out and get some elsewhere etc.

    I know this may come across as selfish.

    I have never had a maternal feeling EVER. I have read on many posts and forums that couples who have kids, wish they had more sex, it is usually the men that wished they got more sex from their partners. The women will sometimes moan about the fact their men are sex mad. They are not sex mad, they just have needs.

    When we first got our puppy, it killed our sex life a bit because he would wake us up in the middle of the night or in hours before we are supposed to wake. Now, he is still months old and he has adapted and sleeps through the night with no disturbances!

    We have a very hot sex life, we are at it about 6 times a week. We do not get bored of eachother. We have been together for 2.5 years and both have decided that we do not want children.

    I do not think we will regret it. If I wanted to be a mother, I would have been one by now.

    Are you child free because of the similar reasons?
     
  2. Everett_Spair

    Everett_Spair Member

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    I'm child free because I have no partner to have a child with. And at the moment I don't really know if I want a child or not down the road.
     
  3. boobjob

    Verified Gold Member

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    Children can interfere with sex and they can be pains in the asses but IMHO nothing, not even sex beats family. And the best sex I ever had was when we were trying to get pregnant. The idea of creating something special was really sexy.
     
  4. pbs

    pbs
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    Children are certainly NOT for everyone. In fact, when you have a child, life as you knew it before the child, is over - the child's needs become the focus of your life.
     
  5. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    my girl and i want children in the future. we said around 30 or so. i think its just how i've been raised. sounds weird, but two of my older sisters and i pretty much raised our little sister and i became a care taker for my baby cousin for the first 6 years of her life. i enjoy it, its tough yes and kids are very needy and selfish, but they don't know better. bottom line is, i'll have kids, just not now.
     
  6. RideNaked2

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    There are many women and men in this world that choose NOT have children...for whatever the reasons are. That is totally OK, just as ones own sexual preferences. Why should ones choice to not have children be any different than ones choice to get married? I don't believe that you are being selfish at all. I would feel differently if a couple didn't want children but didn't prevent that from happening.
     
  7. Essene

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    I have chosen not to. There are too man beautiful children who need homes. I plan to adopt. Any one I know knows this about me including my gf.
     
  8. Mittimer

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    Eventually I plan to adopt only because it's physically impossible for me to have a child. This isn't a choice.

    Eventually there will come a time when we feel it's right and regardless of the strain on the sex or personal life, we will become adults and take care of a child who needs a loving home.
     
  9. RawDog

    RawDog Member

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    Chose not to simply because sex is too important for me to give up.
     
  10. almostthere

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    Totally agree with ride.
    me? I would have had two dozen. Yes they are alot of work but worth it. I have a nunber of friends who chose not to. A few happily single (lucky sob) and a few happily married. Once they become self sufficient and independent the "booty calls" return. Sex wasn't bad when they were small. Yes she was tired, but so was I, alot. I think every relationship runs a risk of getting boring, kids or not
     
  11. almostthere

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    Oh and adoption? I plan on it when my kids are grown. Meet an older couple thing this summer with two special needs kids and they where the coolest happiest people I've meet in years. Their bio kids where on their own and they decided to give some kids a good life who would otherwise might have had a not so happy one.
     
  12. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    I feel this way as well. Bear in mind that whatever you feel like now, it is possible that you might some day change your mind.
     
  13. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    Nah, I doubt I will change my mind. I have felt this way for over 10 years now, coming out of my childbearing years.

    I get people telling me that I will regret it or it will be nice when I have kids of my own etc... these people are usually threatened at the fact that there is someone out there that wants different things in life or they are unable to have children themselves and maybe feel resentful towards me because I have CHOSEN not to have any.
     
    #13 Black_Magic83, Oct 15, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2011
  14. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Bookmark this and come back in 4 years. I'm not trying to convince you of anything, just saying you might not need it.

    Now what I am getting at is that you never know if you're going to change your mind, and just try not to do anything which would mess things up for you if you do later change your mind. In general these are probably things to avoid anyway. Keep up your health, stay out of jail and don't build up overwhelming amounts of debt. That sort of thing. Much harder to deal with those things when you have kids. And if you don't have kids, you'll better be able to deal with unexpected things.
     
    #14 MILF_Rider, Oct 15, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2011
  15. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    Thanks for your views and posts.
     
    #15 Black_Magic83, Oct 15, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2011
  16. CruelTease

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    I wasn't maternal in the slightest until I fell pregnant. I have friends who have lots of kids and others who are happy without kids. Different strokes...
     
  17. HisLilSecret

    HisLilSecret New Member

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    I have always known I dont want kids. I know that if I got pregnant by the guy Im with now it would be ok, but I have never felt that way before. He has kids & I love them, but I know Im not ready. Thats not selfish, its responsible.
     
  18. a_high_bitch

    a_high_bitch New Member

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    I would like to, but I don't know how good I would be as a mother. I am not a great person to look up to, and I realize this. I know I would love my child, and care for him/her, but I would hope that she/he would not be like me.
     
  19. arkinkykummer

    arkinkykummer New Member

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    I never had any because I never got married, yet.

    And I know I would not want any unless I was in a postion to properly provide for them in a responsible way.
     
  20. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    I have chosen not to have children. I'm not sure why, but it's probably due to my own upbringing. I always felt I was in the way around my parents, and that they had sacrificed a lot by having children. I usually tried to avoid them as much as possible when growing up. I guess that same sense of sacrifice has made me who I am, and I'm not willing to 'sacrifice' my life, even though I know that it shouldn't be seen that way.

    Moreover, as a man you have very few rights to your children compared to a woman, and I've witnessed first-hand with my parents how atrocious adults can be to each other. Basically I don't want the financial or emotional commitment. I suppose that makes me very shallow.

    I suspect it actually goes deeper than that. Something is messed up in western civilization at the moment and I feel that now wouldn't be a good time to have young children.