have to be friends?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by wht1zzfe, May 14, 2011.

  1. wht1zzfe

    wht1zzfe New Member

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    not sure if this should be here or the ask a guy/girl. seems a bit deeper than, "do ladies like giant radioactive monster dicks?" so ill try it here :p

    ive been with my gf for over 5 years, but outside of our relationship i cant imagine us being friends. yes, everything is great. could do with more sex, but what guy couldnt?

    its not that i dislike her at all. i genuinely care for her, more than myself even. i would go out of my way to do just about anything for her, just to know im helping her. we just dont really have any of the same interests.

    probably sounds silly asking since we have been together for 5 years and we are both happy. just started wondering and worrying recently since she has been hinting at us moving in together.

    just realized after all the rambling that im not exactly sure how to ask this. shes the 1st gf i have ever had or ever wanted.
    just wondering how the people with more experience with relationships feel about it i guess.
     
  2. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    I'm mobile so I'll have to keep this consise and to the point..
    Not sure how old you are but I can tell you from experience don't linger in a situation/ relationship your not 110% confident in your situation you definitely want to address it.
    In my past incld. A marriage I stayed w it for the wrong reasons and looking back (besides my son.) that's a decade of life that I have huge regrets.

    Not suggesting you bail.. But don't suppress your feeling either

    Edit- I see your age now.. And nice F-22 lol.
     
    #2 Beach, May 14, 2011
    Last edited: May 14, 2011
  3. nurseharley

    Gold Member

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    sweet home...
    i wouldnt say that you HAVE to have the same interests as your partner to make it work, but it would definitely help. even if you have just a couple of things in common, at least those are two things yall can do together.

    maybe what yall need to do is to make an effort to get into each other's interests. spend more time together, bond a little, etc etc.
     
    #3 nurseharley, May 14, 2011
    Last edited: May 14, 2011
  4. collette

    collette Member

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    Definitely need to be friends and have shared interests, values, etc in order to form the basis for a lasting relationship ~ what do y'all talk about? Like Beach I found this out the hard way and ALL the husband and I ended up talking about was the kids as we had nothing else in common.

    I believe that most people in successful marriages/relationships will say their partner is their best friend ~
     
  5. 6stringking

    6stringking Member

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    How often does she stay at your or you stay at her place? maybe do that before committing to the whole move just stay a week at a time at eachothers places, try and find stuff you enjoy doing together, make sacrifices and above all communicate, whatever happens will be much worse without communication, tell her your worried about moving in together and tell her that its because you have such different interests. If shes serious and your serious i wouldnt be suprised if she goes all gung ho and tries to find stuff you both like, or she'll sacrifice something she wants to do to do something you want to do with you. Hope this helps. And just because you don't have similar intersts doesnt mean you wouldn't be friends, i have a friend who we have NO similar interests what so ever and we are still friends. Hope all works out.
     
  6. HardRocker

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    You don't have to have the same interests, being joined at the hip will wear a relationship out. But taking interest in each others favorite things is a big plus. Either of you may be excited and want to tell someone about your activities, hobbies, etc. and having an interested listener is a must for most people. You're happy. If you spent all your time thinking and doing the same things, it might get boring. Different personalities compliment each other, balancing the two of you out. She's good at thinking about and doing some things and you are good at others. Together that makes a strong lasting functional connection.
     
  7. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Focus more on whether you can communicate well with eachother than whether you have the same interests.
     
  8. dirtyoleman

    dirtyoleman New Member

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    As others have said, communication is the key. But as you have been together for 5 yrs. already I believe you have more incommon than you admit and/or realize.