Happy Halloween!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by FlirtyChick, Oct 31, 2008.

  1. FlirtyChick

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    Happy Halloween!!!


    A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies. 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old

    as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.' 'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a

    nun kiss me.' She responds, 'Well, lets see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.' The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!' 'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.' The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?' 'Forgive

    me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

    The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Jeff and I'm going to a Halloween party.'
     
  2. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    :lol

    A old hippie had a mission to have sex with everyone he wanted to. One day on a bus he saw a nun and propositioned her. She, offended, slapped him and got off of the bus. The bus driver said to the hippie that if he wanted the nun he knew how he could get her. Every night behind the church the nun goes out and prays to see god. So if he pretended to be god he could get whatever he wanted from her.

    The hippie put on a disguise and went to the church at night and saw the nun praying. He went up to her proclaiming to be god and asked the nun for sex. The nun reluctantly agreed, but made the condition that to preserve her virginity that it be anal sex.

    The nun and the hippie in disguise had wild anal sex and when they were finished the hippie threw off his disguise and said "haha, I'm the hippie."

    The nun threw off her cloak and said "haha, I'm the bus driver."
     
  3. FlirtyChick

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    These are sooo lame: LOL

    What do you get when you goose a ghost?
    A handful of sheet!


    Why shouldn't witches lose their tempers?
    Because they will fly off the handle!


    What subject do witches like best?
    Spelling!


    What do you call it when a ghost makes a mistake?
    A boo-boo!


    What do you get when you cross a Snowman with a Vampire?
    Frostbite!


    How do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern?
    With a Pumpkin Patch!


    Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
    Because he was coffin!


    Why can't skeletons go trick or treating?
    They have no body to go with!


    What do naughty ghosts use in school?
    Cheat sheets!


    What did the monster do when he lost his hand?
    He went to a second hand store!


    What does skeletons order at a restaurant?
    Spare ribs!


    What kind of candy will a ghost never eat?
    Life Savers!


    Why did Frankensteins' monster go to the psychiatrist?
    He thought one of his screws were loose!


    Where do vampires put their money?
    Blood banks!


    Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
    He didn't have the guts!


    Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
    To improve his bite!


    Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
    They're too wrapped up in themselves!


    What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
    Bloodhounds!

    What do you call a skeleton who won't do anything?
    Lazy Bones!


    What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
    A stake sandwich!


    How do you know if a ghost is lying?
    You can see right through him!


    What city do witches always pick for their annual convention?
    Wichita, Kansas!


    What kind of street does a ghost like?
    A dead end!
     
  4. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Why can't witches have babies?

    Because their husbands have hollow weenies.
     
  5. FlirtyChick

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    LOL!!!!!!Good one!