Halfway through great sex he stops and walks away

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by RubyAsh, Jun 2, 2014.

  1. RubyAsh

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    Hi guys
    So here's my very complicated story. I'm a married woman in my forties but living away from my husband (in fact, we live in different countries). Over the last few months, I became very close with one of my husband's younger cousins (some 20 years younger). At first we were just chatting, going out for drinks with other friends and family, we saw each other during family gatherings and always had a good laugh together.
    Suddenly, things started to change. He told me that he was extremely attracted to me and would like to have sex with me. I told him that I also felt the attraction but that I was scared of going further because of the family implications. So, after a couple snogs, we agreed that it was complicated, even though we were not blood related, and decided it was best to part company. He then started occasionally texting me and we would harmlessly flirt with each other.
    The other day, after having met at a social occasion, he texted me saying that he wanted to be with me. He was then very descriptive about what he wanted to do with me and asked me if I also wanted it as bad as he did. I replied that I did, as a part of my fantasies.
    Two days later, he arrives at my door step in the middle of the afternoon. There was no time for greetings. We fell into each other's arms kissing, caressing, teasing and tugging at garments. In a moment of lucid thinking, I asked him if he was sure he wanted to go through with it. He said he did and asked me back, to which I replied that I was not sure but that I wanted him badly. So, we moved to the bedroom; clothes flew and we started having sex; great sex! I'd been in a sexless marriage for about 5 years, so to me this was close to heaven. All of the sudden, even before we climax, he stops, exclaims that it could not be happening, moved away from me and starts getting dressed. I asked him what was wrong. He exclaims that I am his cousin's wife and he heads to the door. His last words, as he walked out the door, were 'forgive me' and 'lets pretend it never happened'.
    I was left so frustrated, so annoyed, so furious! I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react! I can't stop thinking of how wonderful having sex with him was feeling. I though I should be the one who would need to live with the regret or guilt (if any) of having an extra-marital affair. Heck! I don't even know what to call this! Was it a 2 minute affair? Was it mind-blowing sex that was cut short? I need advice. I don't know how to handle the turmoil inside me! Even though he walked out, I still want him so bad.
     
  2. AGFUNK

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    You are married to his cousin. He cares about his cousin and actually feels bad about it.
     
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  3. backcheck64

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    Could he have been in cahoots with your husband, and since you failed, you'll get hit with divorce papers seeking most everything?
     
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  4. lbushwalker

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    Nah none of the above.
    Dude's conscience reared it's ugly head and killed the moment for him. Some folks are like that when harbouring a guilty issue momentarily suppressed by lust.
    In his case the approach to ejaculation was the trigger that hit the ejection lever. Sadly and unfortunately the OP was left high and dry (well wet actually) and is the victim of circumstances.
    Suggest find another dude who does not harbour hang ups ;)
     
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  5. BlueCollar

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    image.jpg
    Thanks Cappy Dick for the cool pic. It comes in handy!
     
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  6. Meee

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    I'm guessing that he did actually cum--just one of those little anti-climactic, awkward, conflicted cums that left him feeling regretful. Two minutes would be about right for that. So now he gets to feel embarrassed as well as guilty. My advice, since you asked: Delete the texts before your husband comes home. Text like that always get discovered.
     
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  7. lbushwalker

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    Of course Meee always makes sense of things.
    The dude dribbled, probably an overenthusiastic pre-cum then sheepishly left shamed faced.
    Ah well it seemed like a good idea at the time......*shrugs shoulder*.
    WTF, man or mouse?
     
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  8. JonJo

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    Everything that Ibushwalker & Meee said.
    There is an old joke that "an erect cock has no conscience" and to an extent that is true but despite what some women think a 'decent' man can have a conscience just after he's cum and his 'senses return'. He can be overcome with lust prior but after the 'relief' he can realize the 'enormity' of having fucked a woman he should not have done.
    It would be interesting to have known, although it is not possible, how the poster would have felt after she'd been 'satisfied', she had had her relief, then realized what she had done.
     
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  9. RubyAsh

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    No cahoots with my husband - I'm absolutely sure of that. So this was not a test.
    This guy's known me all his life. We talked about the family issue right from the first moment. He knew what he was getting into, as did I (or thought I did).
     
  10. RubyAsh

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    Being a very rational person, I knew what I was doing. Yes, it was lust and no, there would be no guilt should I'd been 'satisfied'. This is what happens when a sexless marriage is agreed upon. We don't go out openly looking for relationships, but we do have an open marriage understanding. However, we don't advertise it either.
    What bothers me is that he did leave me halfway and he was still fully erect. No satisfaction for either of us. He gained 'conscience' before the deed was done and just left. Honestly, I think both of us felt frustrated for not having had the release. Plus the fact that I should probably be hating his guts, when I actually don't. I like him, as I always did; I lust for him and I would like him back to finish what we started. Is that so wrong?
     
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  11. RubyAsh

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    Texts deleted immediately. Not that stupid! No, he did not cum. He withdrew before that happened. No awkwardness about his (or mine) sexual attributes or prowess either.
     
  12. Ed69

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    As long as he knew your marriage is open I don't see a problem.Not letting you finish,he needs to be smacked for leaving a lady hanging!lol
     
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  13. 10_3XL

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    I'm confused... Initially you said:
    But then you go on to say:
    So what is the hold up here? Why not - if you've both gotten past the "family thing" - just hook up?
     
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  14. Joys

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  15. RubyAsh

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    Perhaps that's the thing... He doesn't know that I have an open marriage agreement with my husband. Like I said, we don't advertise it; particularly to family members. But I'd think it was pretty obvious that if hubby and I don't live in the same house or the same country and I was willing to have sex with him, even after my initial reservations being talked about, he'd be free to go ahead.
    Ah! and yes, I did write "...I thought I should be the one who would need to live with the regret or guilt (if any)...", but that was because, well (confession time, seeing that I already blurted out everything else), this was actually the first time I had sex with anyone else after being married for so long. Btw, in reality that 'guilt feeling' I thought I could feel never even came. Just the frustration! and the confusion!
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    Yep you were not nearly satisfied so how could you feel anything else and btw I am on your side in this.
     
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  17. RubyAsh

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    That's right! I wasn't!!!
    Glad to hear someone is on my side ;)
     
  18. AGFUNK

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    It would have been helpful to mention the open marriage in your post. With that being known my response is different. You should have told him that you were in an open marriage and it could have possibly changed the outcome of sex. You could always tell him now and maybe he will want to go for it again.
     
  19. RubyAsh

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    Yes. I think I'll do that. I've been thinking a lot about it and perhaps I ought to have opened the game with him from the start.
    The thing is: we are a very close nit family, but we keep our private lives very private. I guess I did not want anyone from the family to know that my marriage is sexless and that we'd agree on exploring our sexual interests elsewhere.
    I mean, I never even expected to develop such a sexual attraction with my husband's cousin!
    Do you think he'll want to go for it again if I tell him?
    I don't want to get into too many details with him about my sexless marriage and I'm afraid that, if I tell him it, he is bound to ask concerned questions (he's that kind of guy) about it.
     
  20. backcheck64

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    Why stay in a sexless marriage? Defeats the purpose of marriage, doesn't it? You're not even living with him, what's the point of the marriage? Divorce and you can fuck whom every you choose with no repercussions.
     
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