Half my age

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by flyman8xi2, Nov 27, 2011.

  1. flyman8xi2

    flyman8xi2 New Member

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    I am a relatively good looking man at 50 and I developed a crush on a women half my age, when I told her thinking she would run for the hills she reciprocated. She a very beautiful, intelligent women and for the life of me just can't get my head around why she would be attracted to me. She told me she finds me funny and she likes that I make her laugh. She say's the way I look at her makes her feel beautiful and she just likes the feeling she gets when she is around me. She has also told me that she has only been sexually with her husband, I have a long history before I married my wife. I have been married for 24 years and appreciate and love my wife very much. She is also married but very unhappy in her marriage. Should I peruse a sexual relationship with this young women? and if so, how do I make sure she understand it's only that.
     
  2. Splendid_Thoughts

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    You are flirting with danger my friend. Being half your age and in an unhappy marriage, I doubt very much she will ever see what you could have with her as just a friends with benefits relationship. I strongly suggest you keep your distance...for both your sakes.

    out of curiosity, why did you tell her you had these feelings?
     
  3. flyman8xi2

    flyman8xi2 New Member

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    I told her because I honestly thought she would be grossed out and just try to avoid me.
    To be truthful my marriage isn't the best either. My wife and I haven't had sex in quite sometime. Just one day out of the blue I became totally obsessed with this young women, I thought about her constantly. I tried to distance myself but couldn't and the harder I tried the worse it got.
     
  4. almostthere

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    Fly. I was in a similar situation though she was only 16 years younger. I don't see her anymore and sometimes regret not having a fling with her. On the other hand I also pctured her knocking at my door one day and telling my wife, which I also have major intimacy issues with. I was and still am torn by making the "right" choice. If I didn't have kids at home my choice might have been different
    good luck and if you decide to,have fun. Also my lil lady wasn't married and that might have made it safer
     
  5. flyman8xi2

    flyman8xi2 New Member

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    There is an attraction I haven't had since I met my wife and I really want to have relations with her! I'm conflicted maybe guilty? I know what I can loose, but at the same time who knows maybe something wonderful might happen. She is an educated, mature, intelligent, women who just happens to be half my age.
     
  6. Gummo

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    Why do people ever get married, I have to wonder. I am 49 and am always being flirted with by young women. I am not married, never have been, but do have a girlfriend. Even though I'm not married, I refuse to follow through on these flirtations because regardless of what one fantasizes might be "wonderful"...the truth is that your actions would be the catalyst for a lot of pain.

    You want her?...get a divorce first, and have her do the same.
     
  7. pbs

    pbs
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    The single thing that most people have in common is age ( and life's experiences). If you pursue a relationship with this younger woman, you will be the one who gets hurt the most when it ends, and she will tire of you sooner or later. At her age, she can simply start over if things don't work, but you may end up alone. A fling with her might work, if you can keep it from getting serious. New love, a young and responsive female - hard to resist. Good luck.
     
  8. Mittimer

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    As a woman one thing you have to worry about is her getting attached to you because she's not getting fulfilled in her marriage. The age isn't really the issue. So, she's in her 20's, she's an adult and the sex would be consensual.

    While you may say "it's only going to be sex" she could and possibly already is thinking that it would be something different for at least her.

    My question for you is this, why did you let yourself get attached to a married woman? Or do affairs and playing with fire really not phase you?
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    Against the odds.
    Existing marriages aside which is another complicating issue for the OP.
    Anyway by way of example;
    I'm 59 and my SO is 29 so she is in slightly less half my age so it can work for some couples.
    In our case there are also a racial an ethnic considerations which rather than complicates in fact makes it all the more possible.
    She is SE Asian and from her side it is perfectly normal (and they say desirable) for a young woman to be with a mature man. I'm Caucasian and this arrangement is far less acceptable to our society and indeed frowned upon.
    Unlike our OP with us it was the reverse situation; she chose and pursued me and I tried very hard to steer her away but when she offered her virginity (at age 26) my misgivings evaporated. Snap..........lust won out!
    Three years later we are still very happily together.
    What the long term future holds is anybody's guess but in the interim we have a very fulfilled life and sexually it is nothing less than amazing.
    When a Asian woman gives herself to a man she hold nothing, but nothing back!
    The relationship is harmonious but it does require a lot of work (as all relationships) but at least I have the wisdom of past failures and experience to guide me.
    Lasting relationships are build on more than sex but without it they soon fragment.
     
  10. Alwayslearningsex

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    I have found many women attractive one way or another that I would have loved to have with me, older, younger, some I know would have welcomed the idea I found out over the years but never acted out on it because it's a small world and trying to maintain good habits, sometimes kicking myself for letting it pass but mostle glad I kept distance for all the right reasons.
    I suggest trying to work things out first, maybe you can recapture what you had with your wife. Granted, she changed, so did you, but after all those years maybe there is something still there before you jump at all chances, and I know more will come around.
    If things are truly going nowhere then good luck, be careful how you play.
     
  11. backcheck64

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    I agree with the divorce part first....on her part too. Good way to wind up with a bullet in the brain.

    I love being married, I get hit on by much younger women all of the time, but I'm more than content. Even after 24 yrs, together 29, we have a good sex life and get along great. Maybe if you put a little effort into your marriage, you wouldn't be dreaming of some other woman.
     
  12. igor

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    My hat's off to you. It's nobody's else's biz what you are happy with and the only thing that matters is what works for you.
     
  13. flyman8xi2

    flyman8xi2 New Member

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    I fought it, for 6 months!! I avoided her when ever I could but when I saw her I couldn't pull myself away. I tried to convince myself she was ugly, fat, just not interested, in love with her husband etc.... I even interviewed at new jobs trying to distance myself. The whole time I found out she was actually looking for me because she wanted to be near me. I don't know why it happened, that's why I'm on here asking questions. Knowing what to do in life is through experiences and I have never experienced this. There is no book telling me what decision is the best one today?
     
  14. Plate

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    go for it, hit it & run
     
  15. pbs

    pbs
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    I think you are simply responding to the natural male impulses to spread your semen around. Unfortunately, you both live in a cultural environment that includes marriage, and you have both signed on. Most men know the feeling of being attracted to other women, but being restrained by promises made to our marriage partners. So, you just have to decide which is more important to you, your marriage, or scratching this itch, and wives usually notice affairs. You're in a tough spot - good luck.
     
  16. cbrmale

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    I am having a pure sexual relationship at the moment with a married woman who's sexually unsatisfied, only she's about 12 years younger than me (41 to 53). But that doesn't matter because we're all adults, be it 20-something or 41. Works for us because she wants the sex but not the attachment, because of her other life and her teenage children, and so was looking for a married man. Just because a couple have semi-regular sex doesn't mean attachment is inevitable.

    One thing I guarantee is that if you don't do it, you will regret not having done it. If you do it, the sky doesn't fall down when you have sex with another woman.
     
  17. CosmicEye

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    The older you get it seems the less the age difference matters
     
    #17 CosmicEye, Nov 30, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2011
  18. flyman8xi2

    flyman8xi2 New Member

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    I know I will regret it for the rest of my life. But on the other hand If I get caught because she shows up at my door and tells I will regret that it as well is the psych behind it all