[Ask a Guy] Guys, why do you feel the need to hide jerking off?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Mittimer, May 4, 2010.

  1. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    So the title of this thread is kind of a broad statement. Not all of you hide it, so it's not me pointing fingers.

    I'm currently having an issue with my fiancee. I've woken up...countless times with him jacking off...right next to me. Lol It drives me bonkers. I mean, I'm here, I'm naked, why not fuck me?

    I'm not insecure, and I don't care that he's doing it, hell, I like watching him do it sometimes, but when I wake up, realize it and just go back to sleep then ask him about it later, he'll say he didn't do it.

    O....k....wtf?

    So my question is..

    Why would a male feel the need to hide the fact that he's jacking off to his SO?

    I'm just curious so if you guys could fill me in, that would be fantastic. :)

    Thanks a bunch!
  2. johnnyangel694u

    johnnyangel694u Gold Member

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    I hide because my wife doesn't like that I do it. She thinks that I am a pervert or something when I do it. One of the main reasons I do it is because sex with her is not satisfying.

  3. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    That's what I find weird though, because we fuck like bunnies. We're both young, we both enjoy sex, we're both very active. But he still hides it from me if he does it. I just find it odd.

    I'd like not to think at 21 that the sex is..bad.
  4. johnnyangel694u

    johnnyangel694u Gold Member

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    Is it mind satisfying sex? Hot heavy mind blowing dirty talk sucking licking biting pinching scratching sex? Even though I orgasm I am not stimulated mentally.
  5. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    To be honest, yes.

    But this thread wasn't about my sex life, it was a general question on "Why do you feel the need to hide" <-if you do.
  6. HardRocker

    HardRocker Gold Member

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    Maybe because we're having fantasy sex in our mind while pounding our meat, and are afraid it will seem like cheating.
  7. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    @Hardrocker
    I guess. I just don't see any reason to make it a big deal and I wish he wouldn't feel the need to hide it. *Shrugs*
  8. Hot Wheels

    Hot Wheels Gold Member

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    I think some guys do it as a means of getting off quickly without having to go through the whole deal with foreplay, the humping away and getting her off as well scenario too....
    Its quick and easy....no different to the way some girls like to just curl up with their fav vibe and have a bit of a play by themselves occasionally....
    As far as "hiding" it goes.....maybe it stems back to possibly feeling a bit guilty about not getting your partner off as well?
  9. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    @hotwheels
    Thanks for the input darling. I honestly don't know what it is, and it doesn't upset me. It's just one of those times where I really wish I could get into his head.
  10. Barbwire

    Barbwire Gold Member

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    Sometimes I masturbate while in bed with my husband because I can't get to sleep for whatever reason. I find having a quick orgasm makes me sleep like a log, so I jill off to hasten sleep.

    Why don't I just wake up my husband and initiate sex with him? Because frankly, I don't have the energy to go through a round of sex; I just want to get off and sleep.

    It's not a reflection of how desirable my husband is me, it's more of quick and simple sleep aid.
    Last edited: May 4, 2010
  11. Mittimer

    Mittimer Gold Member

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    @CowboyLover
    I've noticed that with him, he tends to do it and zonk back out. *shrugs*
  12. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    One factor might be fear of giving the perception that he is just "using" or "taking advantage of" you for his own pleasure.

    When I used to do this, I would sneak off to the bathroom because I was afraid to give that perception to my wife - even though she loves sex. When me improved our communication over some of our "hidden" desires, I found that what she really did not like was me sneaking off, and she did not feel I was "using" her. Her view is, if I wanted to do that, I should jerk myself off on her - either the motion will wake her and she will want to fuck, or if it does not I will cum on her and she likes to feel that. Honestly, it took me some to get used to her generosity in this area, but things are great now.
  13. pakua

    pakua New Member

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    you said that you wake up to find him doing it, go back to sleep, then later on he says he didn't.

    he's probably not lying - a lot of people don't remember what they had been doing in the middle of the night after they sleep for another few hours.

    each time you mention that you see him jerking off it's preceded by "i woke up (to see it)." it would be easier to understand the problem if it's just happening in the middle of the night.

    so...


    CL may have given you your answer :)
    Last edited: May 5, 2010
  14. QWE

    QWE New Member

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    I never hide it since I never do it. I feel myself bad after it :)
  15. rcalex

    rcalex New Member

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    My wife is okay with me doing it as long as I don't wake her up in the middle of the night. She is more than okay she will play with my ass or my balls while I do it. Some times she will give me a little prostate massage while I jack off. Now that my friends is heaven on earth. Her only rule is not to wake her up to do it if I want to I have to before she goes to sleep.
  16. Dragon_Fire

    Dragon_Fire Gold Member

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    I do this too. My current boyfriend doesn't mind but my ex used to get jealous because I dared to have sex without him. Sometimes, I just need to think of myself and only myself.
  17. QWE

    QWE New Member

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    men manage to be jealous in any imaginable situations :)
  18. Ming102

    Ming102 New Member

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    The problem is that you 'might' think badly of him. Next time you catch him, don't let him know you're awake until you are sure and then tell him that you love to see him masturbate and it turns you on. That'd work for me. Then it's only a few steps to you stroking his balls while he wanks or climbing on top of him.
  19. leglover

    leglover New Member

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    Tell him you want to watch him jerk off, then play with yourself and start talking dirty. He will love that so much he will just start asking you to join him, and it will always end up with you both having sex. Or you could just jump on him while he's doing it and tell him he's not having fun without you. I know I would love that.
  20. wilber

    wilber Member

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    Maybe he is just being courteous. There are times I will crank one out because it is early and I can't sleep but I know she will not wake up on her own for hours and I am not going to interrupt her. My honest suggestion would be you grab the bull by the horns and climb on and go for a ride. If he questions it just say, " I'm not letting that go to waste". If I was him and found myself under you under those circumstances I would probably get caught a little more often.

    When life gives you lemons...........................................