[Ask a Guy] Guys: What the Hell?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by FlirtyChick, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. FlirtyChick

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    Ok, most of you dont know me. I was very active on this forum for a long time, went thru a divorce, now I am back because I am bored and I missed this place. Now I am trying NOT to date, as I ran the gamut when newly single, but I have a question about how men operate. Frankness does not upset me.

    I met a dude from a town two hours away. We chatted some, then dropped it. I was traveling to his town (the beach), and just random texted him on the way. We met for drinks, talked about four hours, then we attacked each other. Best sex I have ever had. He was worried I would not see him again.

    I have traveled there twice since, and the same scenario ensued. Last time he bought me a nice bottle of wine, had candles everywhere, it was awesome.

    That was two weeks ago and we have hardly talked since, and he will not answer my texts or chats. I left my necklace there totally by mistake; ripped it off and threw it on the floor while giving him head and forgot it. He said he found it, thats it.

    I texted him tonight and asked him to mail the necklace to me, and of course have had no response. Our deal was we would be fuck buddies, and if we changed our minds or wanted to date or hook up with others we would tell each other.

    I am totally not dating now, sick of it, but I really like this guy, stupid me.

    Ok, the question is why did he bother with intellectual conversation for hours, candles, wine, seduction when it was just fucking. That shit drives me crazy. Why, if you guys just want to get laid dont you just let us walk in, fuck us, and kick us out? I dont understand, and my mind is wired to understand.

    I want my necklace back.

    Thanks,
    FC, aka doesnt know how to be successfully single at 45.
     
  2. igor

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    If it were me, I would be totally up front about everything. If I just want to fuck and not get involved otherwise I'd say so and if that was not agreeable, then we'd go our separate ways. For one thing I am too old to play games and for another not being truthful only hurts and even if you only want to be FB's, should still be honest with each other. I have a cyber friend and we agreed long ago that we would be totally honest with each other.
     
    #2 igor, Sep 24, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2010
  3. FlirtyChick

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    Thanks, Igor. He could at least say, " Not into you, yes I will mail your necklace back." Thing that kills me is he kind of amped out on me a couple of times about being a player myself LOL. Weird. I am sick of this shit. Anyone know a NICE guy that wants a NICE gal?

    kisses Igor... He is playing, and he has lost a nice fun time with me forever!!!
     
  4. diesel722

    diesel722 New Member

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    He definitely should have been upfront about what his intentions were. Some things that may need to be considered in this situation are whether he started having feelings more than just wanting to be FB's and got freaked out by it? Or perhaps he thought he needed to do the whole seduction thing to get you even though the two of you clearly stated in the beginning it was just fuck buddies? Either way he should have had the decency to let you know what was going on.
     
  5. igor

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    So he wants to be a player but didn't want you to be? WTF ?????
     
  6. FlirtyChick

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    Diesel, I was hoping for that " He likes me too much so he is evading" scenario, but I don't know. It just hurts my feelings that he wont even respond. Thanks for your insight.
     
  7. FlirtyChick

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    Oh, Igor, I know. He kind of acted like he didnt trust me, and now he is being what he said I was, and I am totally not. What a dick, right?
     
  8. diesel722

    diesel722 New Member

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    hmmm maybe we combine our thoughts and come up with this.... he thought you were a player and began having feelings for you and got scared away because he didn't want to get hurt?
     
  9. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

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    I think that no matter what you guys are (fuck buddies, soulmates...whatever) he should have the basic respect not to ignore you.
     
  10. Hot Wheels

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    From a guys viewpoint.....stories like this really shit me....:eyes
    Its dropkicks like this that give every other guy out there a bad name...:mad
    How many genuine girls have been turned against giving genuine guys a chance because they've been let down so badly by some other fuckwit who only cares about himself.....makes me mad is all.....:yell
    Honestly......is it any wonder so many girls want to tar us all with the same brush!:ugh

    I'm sorry to hear that you happened to pick on a selfish fuckwit Flirty.....but try not to let this bad experience turn you off us altogether.:ugh
     
  11. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    For some guys, the real thrill is more in the "chase", the "seduction". The best analogy I can use is from friends who like to go hunting. They spend much more time describing how they planned their hunt, how they stationed themselves, the actions they took to locate the game, how they tried different things, etc. But once they have shot the game, they don't say much besides things like "It was a six point buck, we dragged it back and butchered in later that day".

    It looks to me like, unfortunately, you ran into a guy like that. One who likes doing seductive things, but once he has gotten the "quantity" of what he wants, the thrill is soon gone, and he is ready to move on.
     
  12. FlirtyChick

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    That's all I want. Just say "Done" and be done.....I don't even want a reason.

    Dearest HW,

    Unfortunately, all of my experiences have been bad. Guess I am a crappy chooser. Let me twist it around a little. This guy's wife left three years ago after 13 years of marriage for another man. Guess SHE screwed it up for the rest of us gals.

    I am not perfect by any means, and I have done my share of things I am not proud of, but I have enough respect for others to say "Hey, this is not working for me", or "Dude, not happening anymore."

    This is partly my fault for just hooking up with him while I was on the run from something else. I didn't expect to LIKE him. I am not turned off men altogether; part of my problem is that I so LOOOOOOOVE men, but I am not dating at all....period......

    Thanks for your kind words.....

    Yeah, I let him chase me and even though in the back of my mind I was calling bullshit, the fantasy of the nice guy prevailed. He could at least say "I am mailing your necklace." LOL.

    Not trying to whine in this thread at all...Just trying to unravel the mystique of the male....I dont want to be alone the rest of my life, but I refuse to be disprespected and treated like candy.....suck it till its gone and then you are done...
     
  13. disneydad

    disneydad New Member

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    From a guy who's been married for twenty years all I can say is that most of us are assholes. I hope the necklce wasn't of any sentimental value. If it wasn't than you can just move on. His loss. There are so many different reasons possible that he is acting like a jerk that they can't be counted. Some of them might even be good reasons (doubt it, though).
     
  14. FlirtyChick

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    Maybe he just collects trophies. He did admire the necklace. Maybe he will give it to his next victim.....

    Seriously, in a week or so I am sending him a SASE.
     
  15. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    Possibly another notch on his belt, some people men and women can be real jerks. Just notch it up to experience and move on, most likely he is doing you a favor.
     
  16. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    I'm a BAD guy that needs a BAD girl.
     
  17. FlirtyChick

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    Thanks, dude, but the point of this thread excludes bad guys! ;)
     
  18. Meee

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    Is this question a little slanted? Even if it's temporary, he could still really have wanted those things, and really wanted intellectual conversation, and so on--treasuring the moment deeply, even if it's just a moment. It might be temporary, but does that have to mean it was "just fucking?" Can something short still be beautiful and not just shallow?
     
  19. Mittimer

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    A response that will sum up how I feel about what you just said.

    "Yes" just Yes.
     
  20. FlirtyChick

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    Ladies, I suppose you are right. After 13 years of marriage ended badly, and several, several men who just are after what they can get I have become a little jaded. After all, I am 45 and have had lots of experiences, most not good. When young I was not the kind of girl who just hooked up, and I am still becoming accustomed to the fact that sometimes that's just the way it is. I wanted to see what the men here would say, to perhaps gain some insight, and I appreciate your thoughts as well. I still think he is shallow, sorry. :shrug
     
    #20 FlirtyChick, Sep 25, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2010