guys that...just dont cum?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by a_weird_one, Jun 28, 2005.

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  1. a_weird_one

    a_weird_one New Member

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    know this is a different one..but my relationship is kinda weird.i can orgasm whenever, wherever i want...i masturbate frequently, through sexual and non sexual methods :uhh: but my bf just doesnt.he doesnt masturbate, which i find VERY odd...and frankly unhealthy..he doesnt agree with porn, thinks its demeaning for the people, especially women in it...as he does with bj's...he wont let me do it because he thinks girls shouldnt have to, and apparently they dont work anyway!
    and nothing much else gets him going!!he gets hard ok...but then i cant touch him with my hand, not even a stroke, cus it turns him off (its not just me :p ...)he says its the same with every girl.
    and often, sex will take ages...longer than we have to spare (!!) so i'll have had multiple orgasms, gone made pancakes, had a nap, got the T-shirt...and he still wont be there..sometimes we have to give up, with him not climaxing!
    feels really crappy for me..and i get kinda guilty too.i dont get it...is it a normal thing for a guy to be like this?or should i actually be worried??
    lol..and any tips to try get him off, without my hands or mouth touching him would be greatly appreciated!
     
  2. Eros

    Eros New Member

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    I would offer the advice that your bf may have some sexual issues that he needs to address. Overbearing or judgemental parent? Overly religous or guilt imposed past?

    Sex should be a wonderful and beautiful thing. What is demeaning is the slant that people place upon it.

    I had parents with some issues. I have learned, and am still learning, that their judgements and views of what is dirty is really that - THEIRS. Not necessarily mine. If he isn't turned on by one thing or another - cool, no big deal; but if he isn't because it is demeaning or dirty - that may be indicative of a larger problem. Since sex (be it a hand job, oral sex or whatever) is between the two of you - there shouldn't be anything off limits to that degree. Especially if you are turned on by it - again it isn't demeaning.

    He needs to be aware of your needs as well. How two people interact sexually can be representative of how they interact on other levels as well.

    Maybe he should talk to a counselor or something - it could help out both him and the relationship.

    If I am totally off base, ignore it. This is just my opinion. No offense meant in any way.

    Good luck to you both.


    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
    Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962),
     
  3. Logger

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    Dear Weird One,

    Climaxing is personal.

    I have to agree with Eros, that counseling might be an option.

    But sometimes too much emphasis can be placed on the need for climaxing.

    BF is lucky to have you, with your trying to be helpful and understanding.

    I find that using my mouth for licking teats or other errogenous zones on a woman helps get me hard.

    There may be lighting, or muisic or a certain video that might be helpul I have several massage videos, that my wife does not object to to much.

    Climaxing helps keep the prostate gland cleaned out, which helps eliminate certain types of waste chemicals from the blood. Especially if he smokes.

    I have been getting better at inserting my penis when it is still soft, as I have gotten older. I put my finger about an inch down from the tip, and shove the tip inside, and gently rock, to get things going.

    I BF will talk about what he is thinking, you can help him think through those issues that are in the way of his enjoying sex.

    As a teenager, I got myself into some situations in which I was bullied around a few times. If BF has a firm belief that a BJ is demeaning, maybe one of his friends was forced to give a BJ, and he felt he should have stepped up, but remained silent, so he now has a strong conviction against BJ's. I read some posts by an abuse survivor, who had a real problem with porn, becuase the guy that abused her had all types of porn in his garage. She associated the porn in the garage with her being abused, and really found the idea of porn offensive,

    My wigfe goes off about watching porn videos some times, but usually she is OK with my massage videos. Has BF ever watched any massage or naked Yoga videos with you? Print out some options, that he might like to try. Visual images help me alot.

    Try to make a list of the things he thinks are OK, and try to find more things he can enoy. Can he enjoy sucking your nipples?

    Blessings
     
  4. BigBoy

    BigBoy New Member

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    This is just my personal view, but I find oral sex and porn often spices up my relationships and having your standard sex all the time just gets boring. If he was willing to try new things, maybe he wouldn't take so long to shoot his load.

    Just my opinion... sounds like a nice lass as well ;) good luck
     
  5. Jay the 1

    Jay the 1 New Member

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    i would be worried...he sounds like the oposite me i love porn bj's and all that he hates....hes one weird guy
     
  6. Meatman3691

    Meatman3691 New Member

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    some bs somewhere

    are you sure he is a guy? something is wrong!!!
     
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