Guys..Are you emasculated?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by RodneyBMcThrustin, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. RodneyBMcThrustin

    RodneyBMcThrustin New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2012
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Male emasculation. You see it on sitcoms. You see it in real life. Do you see it in your marriage?

    Emaculation is commonly referred to as the "woman having her husband's balls in her purse." It is a form of humiliation, control, and removal of a man's manhood.

    I was emasculated in my marriage and decided that I had enough and left. There were other factors too, but this was a big one.

    Why do women do it? Why do men allow it?

    I would love to hear what you think.
     
  2. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    i went thru exactly the same thing....funny thing is...you think youre being a "good husband". and "compromising"....you dont even realize its happeneing until one day you realize that youve relinquished all control....and by then youve gone too far and leaving is all you have...

    I've spent muuuuch time thinking about this exact topic, because i never want to make that mistake again.....
     
  3. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London
    Not me, but she's had my balls in her mouth a few times.
     
  4. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    Haven't had that happen in the 24 yrs I've been married. If I don't want to go to the inlaws...I don't go. I've kept my motorcycle through the marriage and kids, if I want to play hockey...I go, and if I want to sit and veg on Jerry Springer...I do it. I've vetoed a dozen wall colors, rugs, tile, etc. We have very little fru fru crap around the house.
     
  5. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    yep.... i was "foolishly optimistic" when i was younger....but now i believe that men and women have roles....look at the marriages that last....hate to say it but alot of em are that older generation, where the man is the man and the woman is the woman and they work together to make "the whole". Nowadays the man is trying to get in touch with his feminine side and the woman is trying to "do anything the man can do"....its this kinda messed up androgynous thing going on...
     
  6. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    I don't think it's about roles change in the recent past as much as personalities and cultural issues. My parents were from a far older generation and yet my mother emasculated my father. She didn't demand, she nagged, which gave the same outcome. Indeed it was so depressing and so extreme that I didn't have a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship until I met my African wife, who was anything but a nagger and only happy if we both had our own space within the relationship. Before her I was frightened to death that I would find someone and end up with a marriage like my parents.

    If all's good Afican women let things run, but if something bothers her or crosses her line, she talks about it openly with no doubt as to what behavious she has a problem with. A lot of non-white societies are like this, which is one of the reasons why we have so much International Internet dating. Even Eastern European women are like this: all's good unless the line is crossed, and that's when they go beserk at you! And then it's over and you both know.
     
  7. Kermit

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,950
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sesame Street
    This is opening up a can of worms for me so i'll just sit quiet

    hmmm hmm hmmm :)
     
  8. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA

    is miss piggy treatin' you like shit?!!
     
  9. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2010
    Messages:
    791
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto, ON
    it happens to some and not to others. you just found the wrong women.
     
  10. Trond

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    387
    Gender:
    Male
    I think most women are OK with men being men most of the time, but I have been a bit shocked at just how much bullshit a few guys are willing to put up with. I have seen the opposite too, of course. Some women are way too good for their no-good loser boyfriends/husbands.

    Having said that, I am starting to think that emasculation of men has become something of a trend in my mother country Norway. The feminists just keep screaming their agenda until men are almost forgotten. It could be partially because of the amount of female political leaders recently (five out of seven major parties with female leaders). The laws against prostitution are directed at men (selling is legal but buying illegal, defining it as violence toward women), and there is a proposal to make striptease illegal too. All the while, men are STILL expected to serve in the bloody army, just for being born with a penis. When someone suggested that this is actually unfair, they were opposed by many of the Norwegian feminists. That pretty much proved what I was already expecting: they are no longer working for gender equality. Seriously, it's as if the male politicians (and voters) have no balls whatsoever. End of rant :D

    In our relationship, there is a definitive limit to what I am willing to put up with, although I am not saying I am a terribly "hard-core" guy.
     
  11. RideNaked2

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,075
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Now, I do love to have T's balls in my mouth but would never put them in my purse... :)

    Why can't relationships just be equal? Each respect the other, listen to the other and take the others feelings into consideration?

    I was in an abusive marriage, I got out. I didn't realize what it was like until I left. I have no regrets and am very content with T and I's relationship! We respect each other, we listen to each other..we also take each others feelings into consideration. Why is this so difficult for people to do?
     
  12. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    just depends who you find i guess...i tried for 30 yrs w my ex...couldnt change that dynamic..but now i have a relationship like yours..
     
  13. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Trond:
    The criminalisation of prostitution by prosecuting male clients has proven to be a failure, and contrary to the interests of prostitutes in the industry who now have to work illegally and without protection. It has also encouraged an increase in trafficking. It's an industry that never goes away because we all need skin-to-skin contact, and solo sex isn't a substitute.

    I can't imagine making striptease illegal! I once saw a French documentary with a young (18, 19) year old stripper, and when she described the buzz she got from all these married men, powerful men, looking at her like they'd never seen a naked woman before! The way her big, brown eyes lit up was just amazing! Those feminists in your parliament should see that documentary.
     
  14. almostthere

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    723
    Likes Received:
    236
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southeast
    Im lucky to be in a true 50-50 marriage. I don't abuse it but I don't what makes me happy, as does she, without disrespect to one another. I come from a latin background where "machismo" is they way. Having a mistress is common. Shit my cusin's two sons, one from the wife and one from his mistress, are friends.
    I have a crew of hispanic guys who work for me and they have asked me why the men in this country have no balls. They see the woman in the relationship running the show. Dosent help that the men refer to the wife as "the boss" And most of my buddys who live like this are cut off sexually to boot. At dinner one night my wifes friend hinted that she refuses to give oral. I came back with "then who needs you" and that couples night ended as did the friendship. I hate seeing men act like wussys. Sickens me
     
  15. RodneyBMcThrustin

    RodneyBMcThrustin New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2012
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    My wife emasculated me and often said that my passions were a waste of money and that we always had more important priorities. She criticized me, gave me little or no credit for anything, and even confessed that she tried to change me.

    I couldn't take it anymore and asked for a divorce which is still pending.
     
  16. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    Didn"t your wives exibit any of these behavoirs prior to marriage? And if they did, why the hell would you marry them.
     
  17. LordOfChaos

    LordOfChaos Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2012
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    I got out before it got to the married stage. This was my life for the past 12 months:

    She wanted a proper commitment - so I moved in with her to her house. It's a lovely house in a lovely part of the world. A few miles away from my family, but I made it work... to a point.

    She wanted even more commitment - she wanted us to get married eventually so talked about getting engaged. However, she had so little patience, everything had to happen yesterday, so it ended up her having a ring before I even officially asked. But, I did everything she asked in the hope that it would calm her down if she could see I was happy to commit.

    I stopped seeing friends, I didn't see my family as much as I did before, but her parents lived next door and she saw them whenever she wanted. Again, I was ok with this as they liked me and we got on.

    Such was her mental state, it seemed to be that she needed me with her at all times. She made me feel uncomfortable if I said I was going upstairs to do my weights or play on the Xbox while she watched soaps and reality tv - 2 things that I really can't stand. So I had to sit and watch them with her. Even reading in the same room while she watched tv was a no-no as I wasn't paying attention to her.

    If a man was to do it to a woman, it'd be talked about on Loose Women and all men are bastards. But it seems less of a headline if it's the other way around - we're just a bit under the thumb.
     
  18. Trond

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    387
    Gender:
    Male
    As it happened, the criminalization also did not get the support from the one prominent Norwegian feminist who had worked closest with prostitutes (Live Jessen). So not all feminists were for the law, but they passed it anyway of course.

    As for striptease, I don't think that law is going to pass (making it illegal) but it was a serious proposition, and it's backed by at least one of the major parties, as well as the same feminist groups that were pushing the prostitution legislation.

    Myself, I care less and less if anyone should think I am a "male pig" or not. The women who know me have no problem with me whatsoever.