[Ask a Girl] Got a very delicate situation. Ideas from M/F??

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Chronichaze, May 24, 2011.

  1. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    So in all this was pretty funny. One my friends had logged onto my computer couple days ago with his email. I had to get onto my own email and as I did so his email address came up. What I saw was a huuuge archive of sex related/craigslist ads. Some of them were porn callings, some prostitutes, others casual encounters. Shortly thereafter one my buddies comes by we enjoy the day sifting through all these emails together, laughing, exploring... you know whatever.

    Getting to the point, aside the laughter, most of it was pretty serious stuff. He had done spanking videos for older men, got with married couples, lots of pictures of him naked being sent out to random strangers, tons and tons of hooker ads.

    This isn't any ordinary friend. We've known him dating back to beginning of high school. He's alway been a friend we suspected was a virgin, which is now funny realizing he's been way more sexually active than any of us.

    We also had too much fun on our return and with company showed the pictures and emails out to way too many people who have connection to him. I'm afraid this stuff is going to get out the wrong way. He's already one those friend that endures a lot of ridicule and "playful" jokes.

    How should we confront him? Surely we can't allow him to here it by here say, at that point will be skewed and even exaggerated further. The events are pretty serious. I'd hate to think we could drive him into not only emotional harm but physical harm as well. The extent of it all is so serious that we don't know how to approach it. Everyone we've told has said to be quiet and that he shouldn't find out we know... What would you do in this extreme discovery.
     
  2. nurseharley

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    personally i dont think you should confront him at all. you shouldn't have really told anyone else about it either.

    if you're concerned for his safety, then just speak to him privately and let him know you saw those things but you just want him to make sure he knows what he's doing and doesn't encounter a new craigslist killer.
     
  3. Ready2Please

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    It is his fault that he left his email still logged on but I also don't think you should say anything to him. If he is your friend then he will tell you guys when he wants to. I have a few friends that know I have a profile on this fetish website. I know they won't go around telling my other friends about stuff that I like to do.
     
  4. Trond

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    I think you may have already messed this up big time. Why would you share it with all those people? When you stumble upon someone's private stuff don't go showing it around. The best thing you can do now is to call your friends again and make double sure they won't tell anybody else.
     
  5. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    I mean that's it. He's shown that he's much too vulnerable to listen to peoples demands. At first it was super funny, then it sunk it how serious it was when we were done with it all. Reading through the emails you can tell he's a guy that can easily be taken advantage of. I don't even think it's money driven as he's from a very wealthy family. I think it's all for thrills.

    I know I made the mistake of telling a direct friend because it's sort of blown up since then. I think it's important to not only confront him as he's in position to get harmed by predators, but also to preserve some dignity and tell him straight up as friends. If he finds out we know his mind will be left anxiously wondering how much we all know, who knows, who we'll tell, etc. In our specific group of friends this kind of thing falls faaaaaarrr from the norm so it's a tricky situation.

    The friends we told a very close and they wanted to keep it private, although the main risk is that they may tell someone because to all them it was a big laugh. They know not to go to him directly with that kind of serious info.
     
    #5 Chronichaze, May 24, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2011
  6. nurseharley

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    i'm sure he knows this and thats why he has chosen not to let anyone know. if you were to tell him what you already know, not only would he be forced to admit it and talk about it but it's going to back him into a corner and who knows what he'll do then (as you already said). i think if you go to him about it as a safety issue than he might appreciate that much but it could have been a lot easier if it was only between you and him.
     
  7. AGFUNK

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    You never should have looked at his email in the first place. You should have logged out of his email and not read anything considering it was none of your business. You also should have never told anyone else about what was in his private emails. What everyone does with their life is their own business. You just put him in jeopardy because you told other people who could also let it slip to others. If you were a good friend you never would have looked at the email and never would have told anyone what you saw much less had them read it with you.
     
  8. Texas_Red

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    Third.
     
  9. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    It's hard to put into perspective. I'm sure everyone has had that one friend who is known as the one nobody takes seriously. He's been exposed of other outrageous things in the past but this exceeds it by a long shot so it's not as crazy as if I would of found one my other friends with this secret. If it was them I'd see them as a complete stranger to me. He's just the odd guy out. Someone we've always joshed with, but also someone that's shared a great friendship with us. if you don't have this kind of friend I can't further explain myself.

    It's no justification, I'm only trying to give an explanation to why this isn't as crooked as it would normally seem. Hope I don't seem to be contradicting myself because I do want a general consensus between all the people who already know along with any other input I can get anonymously. Telling me I did wrong doesn't do shit in terms of credible input.
     
  10. Beach

    Beach New Member

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    What they said..
    Now Curiosity might have gotten the better of me and I may have looked briefly myself. (I'm no saint..)
    But I sure as hell would have kept it to myself.
     
  11. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    This is more like a judgment forum than a sex forum:lol I didn't ask anyone for moral judgement from my actions. Most yall don't even seem to have any fun for how much judgment you pass. For how serious you are on a forum I can only imagine how anal you all are in real life. Life must be bills and a bitchy wife for how much of it goes around here. Pay mind to the fact that I'm in my early 20s and I live my life a bit wildly. For anyone with some helpful input, thank you:D
     
  12. nurseharley

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    dont punch me bro
     
  13. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    I'd never hit a women. I love my mother too much to ever harm one:)
     
  14. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    Well yeah it was actually my computer he logged into, my computer, my property, my readings for anything my pc contains. It's not like I'm infringing on someone's intellectual property. He left it up carelessly. he should of known better to get on my email with that type of content so now I'm trying to minimize damage considering I handled it in a careless manner too. Am I a good friend, (subjectively)probably not, striving to help a friend I've done wrong, yes:D
     
  15. HisLilSecret

    HisLilSecret New Member

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    Maybe just apologize? Sometimes saying im sorry is the best way to preserve the friendship.
     
  16. Ready2Please

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    Why post this asking what to do. If you didn't think that the members wouldn't tell you their honest opinion.
     
  17. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Being that you've already fucked up, anything but the truth is probably only going to make it worse.

    Probably it will be fucked up telling him the truth, and it would be less fucked up if he never found out, but the odds would seem to be against that.

    Try to do this somewhere that there are no weapons around I guess.

    I don't think there is any good advice for this situation, just rationalization given the fact that fucked up things have already been done and they can't be un-fucked.
     
  18. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    What are you reading because you must of read a brick wall instead of my posts. I just wanted to get a general overview to how one may handle such a mess(despite my friends and I being a partial cause). How was I supposed to know that most the members weren't going to deliver helpful input?:lol

    Besides I didn't ask for honest opinions on how one may perceive my actions. I'd rather honest opinions what could be done to soften the blow.
    Finally some helpful input:D

    But no I agree there isn't any pretty way to handle it, but surely there is a more safe approach to go about it than others.
     
  19. MitchieG

    MitchieG New Member

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    Well, if you're genuinely concerned with the guy, just hope you'll still be friends when you tell him that you found out and tell him that it would be horrible for you to have to identify his body or something morbid along those lines. Honestly if he's involved in such dangerous behavior, eavesdropping is probably on the bottom of the concern list.

    " ...fucked up things have already been done and they can't be un-fucked."

    Yep. This Hymen has been broken. There's no unfucking this.
     
  20. Untamed

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    Fourth that

    LOL dude honestly that is a huge invasion of privacy. Especially if you claim this dude is your friend. You don't need to confront him.. you could tell him the truth that you spread it all around like douchebag and yes please make sure all the other people you blabbed this to keep their mouth shut. Some friend.....

    Shit if my friend had done the same thing I would have signed off and told her "Yo you left your email signed in on my laptop I signed it out and didn't nosey around although it was tempting LOL" so she would know in the future to make sure she always signed out.

    Damn man when you come across situations like these.. you have to always think to youself "what about if it was me?" Hopefully you learn from this...

    I don't care if I am jumping on the morale band wagon but this really irked me
     
    #20 Untamed, May 25, 2011
    Last edited: May 25, 2011